IS IT REAL?
No. It’s made up. All of it. Yup, even that story. As the Middle East’s premier source of SATIRE (much like The Onion, The Daily Mash and Emirates 24/7), The Pan-Arabia Enquirer is not intended, in any way whatsoever, to be taken as factual. It’s just here to amuse and any similarities in names (well, except for Ahmadinejad) are purely coincidental. So please don’t take offence to anything we write, OK, because it’s just not worth it.
I’M STILL MAD
If you’re absolutely outraged by something we’ve written, do drop us a grammatically questionable message at email@example.com and we’ll see if we can come to some sort of arrangement (you threaten us with stuff, we laugh, you threaten us with more stuff, we get scared and take it down). You can also use this email to enquire into our exciting range of advertising options.
WHO ARE WE?
The Pan-Arabia Enquirer started life way back in late 2005 as The Dubai Enquirer, a newspaper front page which was emailed out weekly, then monthly, then bi-monthly. The Dubai Enquirer lasted about a year before fizzling out (it’s difficult to satirise a place that was building rotating towers). The Pan-Arabia Enquirer was started in late 2010 as a way of offsetting boredom and lasted about three months before full-time work started getting in the way of things. It was picked up again proper in March 2012 and hasn’t looked back since.
I WANT TO WRITE FOR YOU
- We are truly honored that people want to contribute to our silly website. However, because we sometimes get quite a few ideas please don’t think us rude if we don’t get back to you (it’ll surprise nobody to hear that this isn’t our full-time job).
- If you do send us a story, by sending it you give us free reign to morph it beyond recognition into our own twisted style. Any sniff of inspiration can set us off.
- When writing stories, we recommend trying to imagine someone reading it out on the news with a straight face. It shouldn’t have LOUD punchlines. It should be tight. The quotes shouldn’t be flippant, but should be exactly as you’d imagine them in a newspaper (with perhaps the exception of the Khaleej Times).
- If your first concern when sending in a story is where your byline will go, it’s probably not worth pressing the ‘send’ button.