Ruins of ancient mall found beneath Dubai

Archaeologists work on what is believed to be an ancient Massimo Dutti shop

DUBAI: Archaeologists were last night said to be “amazed” at the discovery of what appears to be the remains of an ancient shopping mall, deep beneath the streets of modern day Deira in Dubai.

Initial reports date the mall to the pre-cretinous era, approximately 8,000 years ago. It is unclear as to when or why the ancient mall fell into disuse.

Amongst the finds already made are a series of small walls that indicate the presence of ancient department stores and various retail outlets of the time, plus several skeletons of shoppers who may have died while queuing for a chariot.

The most exciting discovery was a giant hall containing a 25-foot tall gold statue of what experts claim is a shrine to the much-loved children’s mascot, Modhesh. Historians suggest live sacrifices to shopping were frequently made at the foot of this altar.

Also among the finding is what appears to be a multi-arena theatre complex – replete with fossilised nachos and even crumbs of prehistoric popcorn on the floor.

Speaking to The Pan-Arabia Enquirer, prominent local archaeologist Seymour Flask said there were plans to transform the site into a major tourism destination.

“Once built, the Dubai Ancient City Shopping Village Experience and Residences will provide guests with all the latest facilities, as well as offering a unique insight into how we once shopped.”

10 Responses to Ruins of ancient mall found beneath Dubai

  1. Moose April 4, 2012 at 7:07 am

    Is it just me or does someone else find the fact that a make belief paediatrician is called Seymour Butt? See more child butt?
    All in all, an amazing insightful read. We have our Onion News! hahah. Great stuff.

    Reply
  2. mymoena April 4, 2012 at 12:10 pm

    Wow this is amazing can u give me more info. How can I get in touch with someone who can give me more info on the site & about archaeology.

    Reply
  3. Nick April 5, 2012 at 6:19 am

    @Mymoena

    Are you for real? I really really have a feeling you were sincere in your post… If so then you win the internet today my friend. Congrats!

    Reply
  4. Elaine Mack April 6, 2012 at 8:44 am

    These are very interesting finds, but I am disappointed that no mention was made of the tiny, abaya clad sleletons that were found in what was once an amusement facility within this ancient shopping center. I happen to know that several deflated balloons and a fossilized box of glazed Crispy Creme donuts were also discovered. The donuts were soon tested and found to be still edible.

    Reply
  5. Mustafa Weewee June 24, 2012 at 3:51 am

    When is the sale?

    Reply
    • Anonymous July 30, 2012 at 6:35 pm

      @Mustafa Weewee hahahaha Epic!!!!

      Reply
  6. Anonymous September 10, 2012 at 1:42 am

    this is junk.

    Reply
  7. Mazhar Fakher January 17, 2014 at 4:46 pm

    This is not a big deal. Here in Jordan we have many ancient sites dating back thousands of years including many from the days of the Roman Empire . I fail to see how this is a big discovery or how it will attract tourists. Better to stick to tall buildings. Also Popcorn did not exist in the Old world. It was brought over from the new world only 500 years ago. I think it is probably just couscous.

    Reply
    • thedude January 17, 2014 at 11:34 pm

      /facepalm

      Reply
  8. Alan Sunlotion January 19, 2014 at 7:56 am

    There must be an ice rink or ski slope somewhere in those ruins!

    Reply

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