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Ariel Sharon’s burial plot set to displace 15,000 Palestinians

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Ariel Sharon’s burial plot set to displace 15,000 Palestinians

Memorial plans revealed as condition of former Israel PM deteriorates

TEL AVIV: Following the death of former Israel prime minister Ariel Sharon – who has been in a coma since 2006 – plans for the 85-year-old’s state funeral have now been released.

According to arrangements made by the Israeli government, Sharon’s burial plot is set to displace over 15,000 Palestinians living in the West Bank. The plot, located on the outskirts of Hebron, will take over land lived and farmed by Arabs for at least four centuries and will be surrounded by a five-metre tall concrete wall with armed sentry posts on each corner. It will also be connected to Israel by a four-lane commemorative highway.

“It’s what he would have wanted,” said a source.

Article updated January 11, 2014

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48 Comments

48 Comments

  1. thorax232

    January 3, 2014 at 5:35 pm

    I believe that last line…

  2. Anonymous

    January 3, 2014 at 8:27 pm

    15000 thousands alive are going to be displaced for the sake of a one dead corpse who massacred them for years. What kind of fucking world that we living in?

    • Anonymous

      January 4, 2014 at 11:35 am

      Ahhh, nothing like Zionist jokes to enrage the humourless!

  3. abdul

    January 3, 2014 at 9:23 pm

    Greedy ugly bulldog faced c*nt..

  4. Jane Doe

    January 3, 2014 at 9:27 pm

    The audacity to disturb 15,000 residents on land which is not even theirs for one arrogant war monger. Will they need more of my tax dollars for such nonsense?

    • John Doe

      January 5, 2014 at 4:01 pm

      Jane Doe, you not only have no sense of humor, you’re stupid too. Perfect for an arab loving, Jew hating fool.

      • Jim Young

        January 12, 2014 at 12:54 am

        So, you seem to be saying that there is something humorous about all of this. Curious. I wonder what sorts of things you find funny, “John”. You also seem to be saying that in order to have an opinion one must both love arabs and hate Jews. Have I got this wrong, Mr. Doe? Can one “love” arabs but not hate Jews? Can one have an opinion about Ariel Sharon which is not in concordance with yours and not invoke your hyperbolic response? Where is Jacobo Timmerman now that we really need him?

        • JestfullyYours

          January 13, 2014 at 4:48 am

          I hate to burst your bubble Jim and Jane, but please look at the other headlines…this is a satire site.

  5. jack

    January 3, 2014 at 11:32 pm

    The story is simply a hoax.

  6. Tissues Please (@Hapshoo)

    January 4, 2014 at 12:41 am

    Its only satire. Not real people. Jeeez, you need to put a warning label on everything thesre days

    • RY

      January 4, 2014 at 5:11 am

      The sad part is that it is believable!!

      • bacon umbrella

        January 5, 2014 at 12:38 pm

        the really sad part is the fact that people like Tissues Please feel the need to point it out all the bloody time!
        They’re worse than the believers!

      • Yoni

        January 6, 2014 at 5:42 pm

        it’s believable by those who want to believe it

        • Lorena

          January 11, 2014 at 3:26 pm

          Exactly. By idiots and conspiracy theorists.

        • Kaleb

          January 13, 2014 at 5:57 am

          It’s believable because they have a history of displacing Palestinians you idiot

  7. izana

    January 4, 2014 at 1:30 am

    Stupid idea. He’s dead and he do not want large plot. He cannot do anything down there. This too much for the arrogant war monger. He is an idiot and good he sufferring till dead.

  8. Hasan

    January 4, 2014 at 8:50 am

    He should have been buried live at the time birth to avoid the murders he did during his life time. This Zionist and their so called Israel last need to be wiped off from the map.

    • D MO

      January 12, 2014 at 12:36 am

      LOL! Look at the fool, Hasan ibn-kelbi, too stupid to not fall for a hoax!

  9. Um Layal

    January 4, 2014 at 5:25 pm

    “It’s what he would have wanted,” said a source. Yes it most definitely is. I hope he burns in hell!

  10. Anonymous

    January 4, 2014 at 8:01 pm

    Omg that bastard even in his death is a miserable dog…what do they think if they put him on a big puece of land that his grave is gonna be a villa????? He is gonna rot in hell anyway…

  11. Mr C

    January 5, 2014 at 10:04 am

    i supposed he wants to have a quiet snooze…

  12. Anonymous

    January 5, 2014 at 11:11 am

    Satire people. Satire!!

  13. LandOfIsrael

    January 5, 2014 at 4:14 pm

    If only this were true, only I’d make the plot bigger so it would displace all of them…permanently.

  14. yoiur favorite nakba

    January 6, 2014 at 12:32 am

    Idiots…it’s satire. But heck, I’d just as soon displace 15,000 so-called “Palestinians” to bury my dead rat.

    • Anonymous

      January 6, 2014 at 1:10 am

      No comment

  15. Alan Sunlotion

    January 6, 2014 at 9:18 am

    I blame the Irish!

    • JH

      January 7, 2014 at 12:10 pm

      I blame the People’s Front of Judea

    • JH

      January 7, 2014 at 12:10 pm

      Or is it the Judean People’s Front?

      • TopRobbo

        January 11, 2014 at 6:26 pm

        You’re wrong! It was the popular front! Bloody splitters!

        • Mr Choccy Hobnob

          January 12, 2014 at 9:42 am

          “He wasn’t the Messiah….. he was just a vewy nawty boy!”

  16. ghost_rider

    January 6, 2014 at 10:00 am

    it’s not the Irish’s fault!…………I blame the Jamaicans!

  17. Paddy Marley

    January 6, 2014 at 12:54 pm

    Stop wid dis dissing of the Orish and Jamaicans. It were not us, it were dem Amrikans!

  18. shadowsman

    January 8, 2014 at 5:15 pm

    Hey… HaHaHa…. The victims will know when it’s their time… turn….. Just the endless cycle of the abused becumin the abusers… BUT…BUT…BUT… there are a lot more victims THIS time, will the abusers be willing to pay when their Karmic bill cums due..??

  19. ASH

    January 9, 2014 at 1:35 pm

    Will the commemorative highway have a gold member lane?

  20. LB

    January 11, 2014 at 4:56 pm

    HELLO?! Satire. Stop your frothing, FFS!

  21. ralph martin

    January 11, 2014 at 5:01 pm

    Wow, further proof that the child molester mohammed and idiot allah has a bunch of humorless followers that didnt get the joke or even read the page up top to see its satire. But i do wish his burial plot DID in fact displace 15000 “Palestinians” it would be such an awesome tribute to him.

    • Anti-hater

      January 14, 2014 at 9:47 am

      Wow, since you have such an amazing sense of humour maybe you’d like a satire about mmmm…let’s say “A Jewish Cook Book by Joseph Goebbels & Heinrich Himmler”. You’d probably find that really funny and sarcastic.

      No? Well neither do I. But once you start trolling other people you should be prepared to take it back also. And this is further proof of … what?

      So easy there cowboy,

  22. bob loblaw

    January 11, 2014 at 5:47 pm

    “Spreading the hummous of satire over the flatbread of news” – this explains everything!!!

  23. A. Qubain

    January 11, 2014 at 5:58 pm

    Wow! I hope you all are not serious! It is “just” satire after all. One must have a sense of humor. . . for what else is left at times?

  24. Book of Knowledge

    January 11, 2014 at 8:40 pm

    So stuoid to believe these rumors. He is being buried on his ranch

  25. Happy Sharon Death Day To You

    January 12, 2014 at 1:21 am

    Ralph I was under the impression that it was the Talmud that gave Jews the ok for the molestation of children . . .Something to do with them regaining their virginity if they are RAPED before the age of 3. As for the human vegetable Ariel Sauron I hope that following the series of strokes he had he was fully conscious – trapped in his mind & haunted every moment by the women & children he had massacred at Sabra & Shatila

  26. Monsieur Flange

    January 12, 2014 at 9:19 am

    It’s a cover story, he is being buried in Jerusalem at the Al-Aqsa Mosque

  27. Big Al

    January 12, 2014 at 11:12 am

    Can I please ask that everyone who ‘gets’ PAE to please stop telling others that it is satirical. It spoils it for the rest of us.

  28. DiogenesXI (@SteinbeckAfrica)

    January 12, 2014 at 11:21 am

    People are quite daft ain they?
    No wonder they be fighting and killing themselves without fail, without cause, without placation…. Sheesh!

  29. Anonymous

    February 6, 2014 at 3:31 pm

    Logical one

    I don’t think that the situation in the Middle East will ever cease. Both sides don’t use the simple concept of reason to resolve anything. If anyone raises the idea that continuing settlements in the West Bank is wrong, they’re automatically called an “anti-Semite”. If Palestinians drive a car into Israel, they are acting like racists. Neither of these entities want to drop their hard-line stances, sit down at the table, and deal with each other. The terrorists on both sides have been dealing too much with what they want, not what is needed: peace. The powers that be just have to sit down and iron out a treaty that will benefit everyone. Both entities need to get the “hard-liners” out of business so that this situation has to heal-at last.

  30. Ray Hanania

    February 6, 2014 at 4:07 pm

    Fitting Cemetery memorial for Ariel Sharon, a burial plot that reminds everyone of a West Bank Concentration Camp.

  31. Logical One

    February 6, 2014 at 4:14 pm

    Logical one

    There will always be fighting in the Middle East because neither parties want to use logic. It isn’t logical that the Palestinians will forever have to remain without a country. It isn’t logical that Israel should not displace them. Neither side wants to sit down with the powers-that-be and hammer out a plan that will help everybody. If the United States intervened, It would be more of a mess because neither of them want to deal with their animosity towards each other. What about the children? Will they continue to have to live by a code that “racism rules” that continue to exacerbate the situation? What has to happen for both is get both terrorists from each country out of there and get enlightened people who want to live in peace have their say. Just throw the hard liners out from both countries, sit down, and negotiate instead of continuing this mess. Let’s get the men who are running the show out and put in enlightened women to resolve this dilemma.

  32. mimi

    September 3, 2014 at 9:06 am

    Rest in hell

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