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‘Bibi’ Netanyahu looking for new nickname to better suit aggressive international attitude


‘Bibi’ Netanyahu looking for new nickname to better suit aggressive international attitude

Israeli PM says he wants something to “scare the pants” off world leaders

Netanyahu says he’s looking for something like ‘Soaring Eagle of Justice’ or ‘Fearless Leader of the Chosen Few’

TEL AVIV: With a full-scale defensive invasion of Gaza seemingly imminent, Israeli prime minister Benjamin Netanyahu today launched an initiative to help find himself a new nickname.

Speaking at a press conference this morning, Netanyahu – commonly referred to as ‘Bibi’ – claimed that his current moniker didn’t suit his aggressive foreign policy.

“It just doesn’t feel right when you’re dropping bombs on Gaza and trying to incite a world war in Iran,” he told reporters. “Bibi sounds soft, I dunno, like someone who might drive an ice cream van or give drama lessons to kids.”

The new initiative will see the choice of new nickname go down to a public vote in Israel, with the most popular being implemented.

“I’m really hoping for something with a bit of clout, like Silver Jaguar, Soaring Eagle Of Justice or Fearless Leader Of The Chosen Few,” he said, urging Israel’s creatives to “come up with something that’ll really scare the pants off the world’s leaders”

An international poll conducted by Nielsen suggested that if the decision was put to an international decision, the most popular nickname for Netanyahu would be ‘Murderous Bastard’, while the second would be, simply, ‘Arse’. A government source in Tel Aviv said they’d be looking out for fake digital votes coming from Iran.

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