Civil war breaks out across Lebanon (island)

The beach resort on the island of Lebanon, now the scene of sectarian violence.

DUBAI: Just two weeks after it was opened as a luxurious beach club, the island of Lebanon, part of The World development off the coast of Dubai, has erupted into civil war.

Gunfire on the island was heard from mainland Dubai yesterday afternoon and by the evening there had been reports of fierce street battles amid the island’s five-star facilities.

While journalists have been kept at bay from the island through its inflated membership fees, various messages received from Lebanon’s resident workers suggest that sectarian violence was sparked after an incident by the pool on Saturday morning regarding a sun-lounger and a club sandwich. Within hours, this had spread to other parts off the exclusive resort, with various opposing factions taking control of different ‘zones’ and the central grassy area designated ‘no man’s land’, kept under watchful eye by snipers camped out in the changing rooms.

“There’s are two full bottles of Chateau Neuf du Pape 1978 and a Dom Perignon sitting on the bar counter, but nobody wants to get them for fear of getting shot. It’s such a waste,” one member who managed to escape from the island told The Pan-Arabia Enquirer.

Various countries have said they are now considering sending emergency transportation to the island to rescue those caught in the middle of the escalating violence, and the UN Security Council is to meet tomorrow to discuss the situation. At least one member is expected to use their veto vote to ensure nothing happens.

Government officials in Israel yesterday said they were “deeply concerned” with the possibility of groups loyal to Hezbollah using the island as a launch pad for attacks to the neighbouring island that could or could not be Israel, depending on who you ask.

“We’ve sent troops to Lebanon before and we’re not afraid to do it again, albeit on a slightly smaller scale and in a completely different place,” tantastic Israeli president Benjamin Netanyahu told reporters.

Further complications are likely to emerge with refugees escaping violence on the island of Syria expected to descend upon Lebanon in the coming days.