Clarks launches new footwear for protestors

AMMAN: A shoemaker is capitalising on the furor surrounding the recent shoe-throwing incident by a Jordanian politician on live TV to launch its new range of footwear designed specifically for lobbing at adversaries and defacing posters.

‘Hurlers’, which went on sale this morning across the Middle East and North Africa after several testing phases across the region early last year, are a new edition to Clarks’ Classic range, beloved of geography teachers and 30-something graphic designers. The new model features a flexible suede upper, designed for maximum grip, while a black rubber sole will make the ideal impression on the picture of any tyrant it comes into contact with.

“This is a response to a growing market,” says Harry Cobbler, head of product development at the UK-based company. “We have a proud history of creating shoes to suit all purposes – and appropriate to all cultures. Our new Hurlers range might be too late for Egypt, Libya and much of the wider Arab Spring, but we’re confident that when the next uprisings occur, they’ll be on the feet – and in the hands – of everyone taking part.”

According to Cobbler, tests during the Egyptian uprisings showed that Hurlers had a 40 per cent increased hit accuracy rate as compared to other shoes thrown by protestors. “When it comes to smacking an image of a despot with your shoe, you’ll not find more appropriate footwear than our Hurlers.”

Although the shoes begin at a mass-market price of just $30, there is also a deluxe line for $45 that features steel toe caps for maximum effigy damage, and spiked studs that, when thrown with sufficient force, can permanently attach the shoe to the face of the hated despot.

Clarks have created a new campaign with the tagline ‘Where others fear to tread’. Famed Iraqi shoe-lobber Muntadhar Al-Zaidi has been signed up to appear in TV ads with hard-up former US president George W Bush, recreating their famous encounter in Baghdad. Only this time, Bush doesn’t manage to duck in time.