Crowds rejoice as another f***ing posey bar opens in Dubai
Club Smug: packed with idiots last night.
Club Smug, which bills itself as ‘Dubai’s Most VIP’, opened last night on the 80th floor of the Murooj Millennium Media Marina Hotel and Spa, with thousands of the city’s most pretentious queuing to ostentatiously flash their cash.
As DJ Habibi 2000 span the latest chart hits from his laptop, the dimly lit bar throbbed with thousands of expensively clad morons supping hideously overpriced cocktails, munching on wagyu beef and foie gras canapés and dancing around handbags costing roughly the same as a family sedan.
“I love it here,” screamed one punter, as another 20-minute firework display went off to celebrate the fact he’d just bought another gigantic bottle of vodka for more money than his waiter’s annual salary.
“We’re absolutely overjoyed with the response,” said British owner Peregrine Farqua-Tosschops, who claimed Club Smug was the culmination of months of work.
“We put our best business minds together and decided that what Dubai really needed was another f***ing nightspot for tedious posers who think gratuitously flaunting their wealth is a sign of sophistication.”
Unfortunately, Club Smug will have to work hard to keep itself in the spotlight of Dubai’s rich and fabulous. Next week sees the opening of Tw@s, which claims to be the ‘World’s Only VVVVVIP nightlife experience’ and is said to enforce a strict ‘sunglasses on’ rule.
Real VIP HaHa: 
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Sarah: 
nick:
Nice work on first of April
Haha dude, I think this piece does a little bit more than just trying to make an April fools joke. it actually sums up dubai nightlife perfectly
Dear Anonymous,
Not entirely convinced it is because it is April 1st…..think I got taken to bar like that the other week…..
haha Movida.
Love it. VVVVVVVVVVVVery true. I Burj you to keep it up #following
Movida!
What is number it for to call for gess lis or table?
it’s not funny if it’s 100% true
This article is so Ridic !! its such a work of frustration! jus coz some1s bag is the price of a sedan n they hop around having expensive drinks .. doesnt make them sophisticated for sure .. BUT I DONT UNDERSTAND WHAT MAKES NY1 TAKE A DIG AT THEM TO SAY THEY R NOT SOPHISTICATED ? surely they r better off than writing frustrated articles
anywhere in the world nightclubs have conceited idiots n this club or Dubai doesnt make tht ny different!
Japinder, no body is taking a dig, because the article is SATIRICAL. Meaning the person who scripted it is as frustrated as u – get it
Some people in our region truly scare me with their perceptive powers of brain work…OR LACK THEREOF!!!!
Sometimes the comments are funnier than the articles
I went to this club on the opening night and I had a very good time. The prices are twice normal and you even have to pay extra for ice cubes in your drinks.
The only thing that let it down for me, was there were only 8 different eau de colognes in the washroom and the water in the showers was tepid.