Dubai man reserves iPad 3 for $300,000

DUBAI: Its official announcement may be two days away, but that hasn’t stopped one Dubai individual already reserving his own Apple iPad 3.

Fadi Flat-White, a widely-regarded moron, is believed to have paid $300,000 – around 500 times the iPad 3’s estimated price on release – in order to ensure he is the first in the UAE to get his hands on the tablet computer when it is eventually released.

“Honestly, I have no idea what the iPad 3 is going to be like,” admitted Flat-White, a PR in the Irritating Division of a minor social media strategic solutions company, who is originally from Lebanon.

“It could be the size of a tank, have a battery life of 10 seconds and be completely incompatible with any other piece of technology on the planet. God, it could even be exactly like the iPad 2, save for a slightly thinner shape and different font on the box. But I just had to make sure I got one before anyone else, because I’m that much of a moron.”

Flat-White, who lists his hobbies as “chillin’ with friends”, “social media” and, simply, “coffee”, claims he was the first in the UAE to buy the iPad 2 and iPhone 4S.

“I was also the first in the region to retweet the message about Steve Jobs being the greatest leader who had ever lived, and I hope to honour this incredible man by buying every single product his company makes and going on and on and on about how much I love Apple.”