Dubai man says he is accountable for “at least 30 per cent” of Apple’s record-breaking profits

Following today’s revelation that Apple earned $18 billion in the final quarter of 2014, a Dubai resident has stepped forward to claim partial responsibility for the tech giant’s record-breaking earnings.

Fadi Flat-White, a Lebanese-born marketing executive and self-confessed Apple fanatic, says he “bought enough of the latest iPhones, iPads, iWatches and other Apple products last year to have made up at least 30 per cent of the figures”.

Flat-White also claims that he watched the biographical drama Jobs 16 times between October and December, although he isn’t sure whether this had any effect on the accounts.

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11 Responses to Dubai man says he is accountable for “at least 30 per cent” of Apple’s record-breaking profits

  1. Justin Case January 29, 2015 at 1:10 pm

    I know him. he drives a BMW, smokes Marlboro reds, wears designer loafers and always talks about how Lebanon is the best place for parties. i see him ALL the time

    Reply
  2. Dmitri Legkovernov February 3, 2015 at 10:06 am

    He is obviously a liar. In order to spend that much money on apple products in just one financial quarter, he would need to be purchasing in excess of 100,000 items PER DAY. This newspaper should check its facts, because this man is clearly misleading them in order to make himself famous in Dubai or the world maybe.

    Reply
    • Evgenia Samsonova February 4, 2015 at 10:10 am

      Or MAYBE (but just MAYBE, just maybe!) this is a satire website , and the purpose of these fake news is satire (i.e. to make people laugh). I mean… it kind of says so on the top of the page, so actually you are the one who should check sources before “bla bla bla” :D

      Reply
      • Aliyu February 22, 2015 at 1:02 pm

        Maybe his reply is sarcasm itself and he knows its a satire website. Most likely this is the case!!!!

        Reply
        • 509 March 7, 2015 at 3:22 pm

          Or maybe evgenia’s reply was sarcasm reply to a sarcasm reply and maybe so was yours and maybe so is this

          Reply
  3. Majed Conrad February 4, 2015 at 6:33 am

    Dmitri you must be fun at parties.

    Reply
  4. Anonymous February 8, 2015 at 7:40 am

    I know this guy too!

    Reply
  5. Anonymous February 17, 2015 at 3:54 am

    I know him but he quit smoking so he can spend more on apple products

    Reply
  6. Billy Egg February 18, 2015 at 3:12 pm

    Oh Dimitri. I feel for you. Did you know that gullible is also not in the dictionary?

    Reply
    • Tarquin Al Fartquin February 18, 2015 at 11:54 pm

      I’m sure Domino’s name which includes the words “leg’ and “over” is pure confidence. Lol

      Reply
  7. Dick Dastidly February 19, 2015 at 8:09 am

    who’s the stupid ones on here then just read Dmitris surname a few more times :-) Leg Over Now!

    Reply

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