Dubai man upset at Forbes Billionaire list snub
Mahmoud 'Loadza' Mullah insists he has always displayed his wealthy as gratuitously as possible, yet has never made the Forbes list.
Dubai resident Mahmoud ‘Loadza’ Mullah has long considered himself to be among the country’s wealthiest, and was taken aback when he was, once again, snubbed by the Forbes judging committee.
“It’s outrageous,” said the 28-year-old inheritee while seated on the bonnet of a lemon-coloured Maserati and wearing a bejewelled suit. “Every year, I do as much as I can to demonstrate my obscene wealth and every year they ignore me. I must be worth, what, $50 billion at least.”
Mr Mullah, often seen taking up two lanes of traffic with a convoy of monster trucks and bespoke Porsches, each filled with Siberian white tigers, said that over the past 12 month he had really pulled out the stops to ostentatiously brandish his bank balance whenever possible.
“I built my own private airport, which is haemorrhaging cash like there’s no tomorrow, and purchased, on average, a new hotel every five weeks,” he said.
“Every morning I eat lobster, stuffed with foie gras served on a bed of wagyu beef. It’s absolutely disgusting, of course, and I’m normally sick straight after. But these are the lengths one has to go to.”
Mullah has now decided that next year he will breach all barriers of taste to get on the list.
“I’ve just unveiled plans to build the world’s biggest billboard. It’s going to be visible from space, draped over the Gulf and will have my diamond-encrusted face plastered on it permanently,” he said.
“And if I don’t get on next year’s Forbes billionaire’s list, I don’t know what I’ll do. Come on, even Bill Gates or that Buffett guy don’t have a private Gucci helicopter with an interior lined with panda fur like mine.”
: 
Khalil: 
Adam: 
Willie O'Bain:
Is he crazy?
are you crazy? is your brain also lined with panda fur
its just satire man…..
haha, seriously?! 50 billion and he cant make it to Forbes! LOL for 1 billion i can make him the most famous person on earth! this guy must be surrounded by idiots! i am sure he is! who brags about having panda fur lining?! those things are extinct dude, and this gives you bad PR!!! if someone knows this guy then please let him know
I wouldn’t entrust someone who can’t distinguish satire from reality with a million, let alone a billion.
Send me my million you are the main man
I love shaving off Panda fur, yum
you will make it with this Panda Fur Brains & Attitude. Serve you right. hahahah
It’s not the things you do for yourself that shoot you onto the billionare list, it’s the things you do for others, such as charities. One should not boast his wealth to obtain a spot on the list. You are just making yourself look like an idiot.
You are making yourself look like a bigger idiot. Why don’t you read the article again, pause, and then read it again..
Hilarious…
Complete idiot!
What a loser
It is a sad day when people believe everything they read on these here interwebs, but great was the day I discovered this website…
There is an ad for a moving service called Camel Tow, this article has got to be fake… and hilarious!
Is this an April fool’s prank??
Heaven forbid anyone here ever picks up a copy of Private Eye or something.
Blease blease stop mocking my wealth ppl
one million for everyone on this thread
April fool’s day all!
Dear Mahmoud!
I think it is greaat that you are of such high standing and enjoying this outrageous lifestyle! More power to you!
I do however think you are aware of all the people in this world that are much less fortunate and I think perhaps doing something for humanity would allow you more worthy recognition and a much greater satisfaction in life!
Ask me if interested as I have several large projects coming up in the Middle East and I would be more than happy to accredit them to your generosity!
All The Best My Friend!!
Gary Hamady
E-mail: Ghamady@Hotmail.com
I add my voice to yours. Mr. Mullah may be statistically rich. His main aim in life is to receive recognition of statical superiority! Shame on him for reducing and bankrupting his humanity. Now he lacks the means to be a happier person. To be a happy person he simply needs a change of heart and purpose; otherwise he will continue to be and die a miserable and unfulfilled waste of space and resources.
A private Gucci helicopter with an interior lined with panda fur – pah – that’s so last year darling
Welcome to generation stupid, where people will believe everything they read on the internet. I love the name they give the guy though. “Mr. Mullah” Moo-La aka money.
…Boosting monkey cant get a banana…..lol
I’m glad such idiots exits in the world. Makes you really put things into prospective
typical arab! what a douche
Its really sad to see such an Idiot exists in this world. Dying to be noticed by the world for his wealth. Keep your pride to yourself and do good deed with it. I’m thankful they haven’t put this idiot on the forbe’s list. Don’t ever put such people up there. Share your wealth to the poor and help them. Dont help your name come in some list. It does nothing good to you or anyone. Seriously what a shame. 1stly it shows you’re a total idiot cuz you have 50 billion and you couldn’t noticed. 2ndl’y this is what you thought of by holding 50 billion. Are you trying to insult UAE?
dude do u know wat this website is about? take a look arnd once again n den get serious!
i feel you my brother!!! yes!!! dont listen to ignorant jealous comments, i know you and know how down to earth you are and that billboard will bring your name up to the sky where you will see it from your own spaceship one day. Jealous people go away, you are all jealous. Go find your own Panda’s. who cares of what you say. Mr Mahmoud is a well known man for his reputation of being so generous, You never seen him on Jumeirah road throwing money from his window while cruising up and down? what wrong with you you? shame on you all !!!!! Bless you my man, dont worry you, there is always next year.
ps thank you for the billboard contract, hopefully will do you proud.
A.H. Bin A.H.
Start donating like the top guys on the list