Dubai man upset at Forbes Billionaire list snub

Mahmoud 'Loadza' Mullah insists he has always displayed his wealthy as gratuitously as possible, yet has never made the Forbes list.

DUBAI: While the publishing of Forbes annual international billionaire list last week was cause for celebration for four über-rich Emiratis, there were scenes of despair from one corner of the UAE.

Dubai resident Mahmoud ‘Loadza’ Mullah has long considered himself to be among the country’s wealthiest, and was taken aback when he was, once again, snubbed by the Forbes judging committee.

“It’s outrageous,” said the 28-year-old inheritee while seated on the bonnet of a lemon-coloured Maserati and wearing a bejewelled suit. “Every year, I do as much as I can to demonstrate my obscene wealth and every year they ignore me. I must be worth, what, $50 billion at least.”

Mr Mullah, often seen taking up two lanes of traffic with a convoy of monster trucks and bespoke Porsches, each filled with Siberian white tigers, said that over the past 12 month he had really pulled out the stops to ostentatiously brandish his bank balance whenever possible.

“I built my own private airport, which is haemorrhaging cash like there’s no tomorrow, and purchased, on average, a new hotel every five weeks,” he said.

“Every morning I eat lobster, stuffed with foie gras served on a bed of wagyu beef. It’s absolutely disgusting, of course, and I’m normally sick straight after. But these are the lengths one has to go to.”

Mullah has now decided that next year he will breach all barriers of taste to get on the list.

“I’ve just unveiled plans to build the world’s biggest billboard. It’s going to be visible from space, draped over the Gulf and will have my diamond-encrusted face plastered on it permanently,” he said.

“And if I don’t get on next year’s Forbes billionaire’s list, I don’t know what I’ll do. Come on, even Bill Gates or that Buffett guy don’t have a private Gucci helicopter with an interior lined with panda fur like mine.”

31 Responses to Dubai man upset at Forbes Billionaire list snub

  1. James March 12, 2012 at 5:34 pm

    Is he crazy?

    Reply
    • Eliminist March 16, 2012 at 12:54 am

      are you crazy? is your brain also lined with panda fur :) its just satire man…..

      Reply
  2. Salman April 1, 2012 at 7:21 pm

    haha, seriously?! 50 billion and he cant make it to Forbes! LOL for 1 billion i can make him the most famous person on earth! this guy must be surrounded by idiots! i am sure he is! who brags about having panda fur lining?! those things are extinct dude, and this gives you bad PR!!! if someone knows this guy then please let him know

    Reply
    • mokh April 2, 2012 at 9:11 am

      I wouldn’t entrust someone who can’t distinguish satire from reality with a million, let alone a billion.

      Reply
    • Anonymous January 9, 2013 at 7:29 pm

      Send me my million you are the main man

      Reply
  3. Panda April 1, 2012 at 7:52 pm

    I love shaving off Panda fur, yum

    Reply
  4. Ashoona April 2, 2012 at 7:47 am

    you will make it with this Panda Fur Brains & Attitude. Serve you right. hahahah

    Reply
  5. Anon April 2, 2012 at 9:01 am

    It’s not the things you do for yourself that shoot you onto the billionare list, it’s the things you do for others, such as charities. One should not boast his wealth to obtain a spot on the list. You are just making yourself look like an idiot.

    Reply
    • Anon's Dad April 2, 2012 at 11:22 am

      You are making yourself look like a bigger idiot. Why don’t you read the article again, pause, and then read it again..

      Reply
  6. Tim Carnie April 2, 2012 at 11:47 am

    Hilarious…

    Reply
  7. Bil April 2, 2012 at 12:44 pm

    Complete idiot!

    Reply
  8. Jack April 2, 2012 at 1:05 pm

    What a loser

    Reply
  9. James April 2, 2012 at 2:35 pm

    It is a sad day when people believe everything they read on these here interwebs, but great was the day I discovered this website…

    Reply
  10. Tiffany April 2, 2012 at 8:35 pm

    There is an ad for a moving service called Camel Tow, this article has got to be fake… and hilarious!

    Reply
  11. jamil April 2, 2012 at 9:12 pm

    Is this an April fool’s prank??

    Reply
  12. Schtoo April 3, 2012 at 8:22 am

    Heaven forbid anyone here ever picks up a copy of Private Eye or something.

    Reply
  13. Mahmoud Loadza Mullah April 4, 2012 at 12:49 pm

    Blease blease stop mocking my wealth ppl
    one million for everyone on this thread

    Reply
  14. Faisal April 4, 2012 at 6:16 pm

    April fool’s day all!

    Reply
  15. Gary Hamady April 5, 2012 at 7:29 am

    Dear Mahmoud!
    I think it is greaat that you are of such high standing and enjoying this outrageous lifestyle! More power to you!
    I do however think you are aware of all the people in this world that are much less fortunate and I think perhaps doing something for humanity would allow you more worthy recognition and a much greater satisfaction in life!
    Ask me if interested as I have several large projects coming up in the Middle East and I would be more than happy to accredit them to your generosity!
    All The Best My Friend!!
    Gary Hamady
    E-mail: Ghamady@Hotmail.com

    Reply
    • Samir Maher April 11, 2012 at 7:09 am

      I add my voice to yours. Mr. Mullah may be statistically rich. His main aim in life is to receive recognition of statical superiority! Shame on him for reducing and bankrupting his humanity. Now he lacks the means to be a happier person. To be a happy person he simply needs a change of heart and purpose; otherwise he will continue to be and die a miserable and unfulfilled waste of space and resources.

      Reply
  16. Rosie May 24, 2012 at 6:53 am

    A private Gucci helicopter with an interior lined with panda fur – pah – that’s so last year darling

    Reply
  17. Anonymous December 22, 2012 at 5:34 am

    Welcome to generation stupid, where people will believe everything they read on the internet. I love the name they give the guy though. “Mr. Mullah” Moo-La aka money.

    Reply
  18. Anonymous1 January 10, 2013 at 3:07 pm

    …Boosting monkey cant get a banana…..lol

    I’m glad such idiots exits in the world. Makes you really put things into prospective :)

    Reply
  19. Anonymous January 10, 2013 at 5:10 pm

    typical arab! what a douche

    Reply
  20. Sharbeen February 27, 2013 at 9:17 pm

    Its really sad to see such an Idiot exists in this world. Dying to be noticed by the world for his wealth. Keep your pride to yourself and do good deed with it. I’m thankful they haven’t put this idiot on the forbe’s list. Don’t ever put such people up there. Share your wealth to the poor and help them. Dont help your name come in some list. It does nothing good to you or anyone. Seriously what a shame. 1stly it shows you’re a total idiot cuz you have 50 billion and you couldn’t noticed. 2ndl’y this is what you thought of by holding 50 billion. Are you trying to insult UAE?

    Reply
    • sanman March 8, 2013 at 6:08 pm

      dude do u know wat this website is about? take a look arnd once again n den get serious!

      Reply
  21. Anonymous March 18, 2013 at 11:00 am

    i feel you my brother!!! yes!!! dont listen to ignorant jealous comments, i know you and know how down to earth you are and that billboard will bring your name up to the sky where you will see it from your own spaceship one day. Jealous people go away, you are all jealous. Go find your own Panda’s. who cares of what you say. Mr Mahmoud is a well known man for his reputation of being so generous, You never seen him on Jumeirah road throwing money from his window while cruising up and down? what wrong with you you? shame on you all !!!!! Bless you my man, dont worry you, there is always next year.

    ps thank you for the billboard contract, hopefully will do you proud.

    A.H. Bin A.H.

    Reply
  22. Mrunal May 28, 2013 at 10:46 am

    Start donating like the top guys on the list

    Reply
  23. AnimalLoverYOLO March 3, 2014 at 6:05 pm

    Its probably because of all the lobster he eats.
    PETA has a lot of effect on the Forbes list.

    Reply
  24. Samantha March 4, 2014 at 9:30 am

    Perhaps the problem is the “OBscenity”, no disrepect, but try cutting out the animal fur which is never repestecful to display. Also, use some of the billions for good toward humanity. Huge billboard that you can see from space benefits no one. your face encrusted with diamonds probably wouldn’t las long.

    Reply
  25. Floor. April 8, 2014 at 1:43 pm

    Just got back from Dubai , and must say, would not be surprised if what this gentleman states is true. Have seen many great things we westerners cant believe.., but therefor it does not mean its not true..! Different cultures , so also different hobbies, have some respect for that..! A suggestion for him however : If he really wants to make a statement , he should donate 10 million to me.. :) So, if you read this, let me know and I will send my details with the greatest pleasure..! Floor from The Netherlands/Amsterdam.

    Reply

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