Dyson to develop toilet hose that doesn’t spray all over the bloody cubicle
NEW YORK: In an announcement this morning that has been widely applauded across the Middle East, renowned British inventor James Dyson revealed that his company was working on a “toilet hose that doesn’t spray all over the bloody toilet cubicle”.
“It’s my most ambitious project to date,” Dyson told the assembled press at an exclusive event in New York.
“How many times have you walked into a toilet cubicle in the Middle East only to find the guy before you has sprayed the whole bloody place, top to bottom, with water, eh? And, you know, it looks a bit like they might have just gone on the floor?”
According to Dyson, the new hose will feature an eco-friendly jet system that uses infra-red to ensure it hits the desired target with minimum spray or wastage. “The water will go exactly where it should, you know, right up there,” he said, adding that an advanced version will come with an attached drier that utilises the technology developed for the Dyson Airblade. “So that’s unheated air traveling at around 400 miles per hour towards your wotsit thingame, drying it in under 10 seconds. Assuming you don’t just use some paper, of course.”
The inventor then invited an audience member on stage in order to demonstrate an early prototype model of his as-yet-unnamed toilet hose, an experience one eyewitness described as “quite something”.