Emirates to introduce shisha lounges onboard A380 fleet

Emirates-Shisha-Lounge-Smaller

Premium passengers will be able to order a shisha from their seat, before retiring to the Signature Shisha Room where it will be prepared by an expert. Pictures: Emirates

DUBAI: Emirates has announced that it plans to trial new shisha lounges aboard its A380 fleet. In a statement released this morning, the Dubai-based airline revealed that the lounges would be available to business and first class passengers on several of its long-haul routes flown using Airbus’ superjumbo, starting from next month.

“Alongside unique offerings such as our Signature Spa and Onboard Lounges, with our new Signature Shisha Rooms premium customers will be now be able to relax amid luxurious surroundings with a traditional waterpipe,” the airline said in a press release.

“This new service will provide our Middle Eastern passengers with the sort of home comforts they’ve come to expect on our award-winning airline, while presenting those flying to the Middle East for the first time with the opportunity to sample one of the true tastes of Arabia before they’ve even landed.”

According to the statement, passengers will be able to pre-order a shisha from the onboard menu while at their seat and retire to the lounge after the main meal.

Emirates added that, should the trials run smoothly, it hopes to have the shisha service operational across its entire fleet of A380s by the year end.

314 Responses to Emirates to introduce shisha lounges onboard A380 fleet

  1. Jan May 11, 2013 at 6:40 pm

    There used to be a “Cigar lounge on Continental Airlines Dc-10 operating from Hawaii on long haul flights. It was located right behind the cockpit!

    Reply
    • Aiman Tamimi December 4, 2013 at 12:41 pm

      Totally Fake, look at picture closely!

      Reply
      • Anonymous December 6, 2013 at 1:39 am

        Read the article, it says they have “PLANS” to trial new shisha lounges aboard its A380 fleet. Need to get your head straight on that one. haha

        Even engineers create an imagery on their plans if you’ve noticed when they build buildings there are already an imagery of the coming building when it’s done. lol

        Reply
  2. nawal May 11, 2013 at 7:55 pm

    I find the decision to provide ” comfort” by providing shisha lounges on board the fights shocking. It is already an international agreement that smoking is forbidden on flights. I can’t understand why Emirates airlines is taking this direction! Is it to gain more passengers and thus more profit on the expense of committing to

    Reply
    • aky May 12, 2013 at 7:43 am

      your comment is pure gold

      Reply
      • Anonymous May 12, 2013 at 11:33 am

        Good for yo

        Reply
        • Anonymous May 12, 2013 at 6:38 pm

          And you guys think this is all true? Read the story for God sake!! It is full of stupid mistakes!! Scam..

          Reply
    • salim May 12, 2013 at 10:51 am

      Yap i totaly agree with u and its agenst the safety of the aircraft

      Reply
      • Moe May 12, 2013 at 11:39 am

        I love shisha and I don’t care if it’s illegal or not! When I fly First or Business class I expect everything to be available! Who cares about safety? If there’s a problem with the plane, you’re going to die anyways so why not die with a puff!

        Reply
        • Anonymous May 12, 2013 at 12:05 pm

          LooL die with smil face

          Reply
        • jb May 12, 2013 at 12:08 pm

          except that here the risk is because of the charcoal of the shisha that could drop and burn the plane u idiot .. it s not about having to smoke if something happens to the plane dummy

          Reply
          • David Charles Morse May 12, 2013 at 12:56 pm

            There is actually no risk because actually there is WATER – HELLO – beneath the charcoal for purposes of extinguishment. If the coal drops it heats and breaks the glass releasing the extinguishing water. Get a job omg!

        • Anonymous May 12, 2013 at 12:13 pm

          Moe my friend you obviously have no idea and are indeed a dickhead

          Reply
          • Anonymous May 12, 2013 at 6:59 pm

            DCM, I love your logic! WATER beneath the charcoals, for the purposes of extinguishment !! Oh that’s priceless! Thank you for the chuckle!

          • Sheikh me gently August 30, 2013 at 5:09 am

            thanks DCM. I’d like to point all of you to the red cumberbound of the shisha chap in the picture. It clearly identifies him as a trained and certified extinguishment officer. There will be at least one on each A380. Safety first!

        • Anonymous May 12, 2013 at 1:15 pm

          And Shisha is not smoking that’s why they have Shisha cafe’s in Rome where you can “drink” Shisha but can not smoke a cigaret. So they should be fine.
          Besides why is everyone so stiff about this and calling each other names they have the cash they should enjoy it.
          If I can travel first class I wanteverything

          Reply
          • Steve May 12, 2013 at 4:14 pm

            Of course it’s smoking you numpty.

          • Merry May 12, 2013 at 7:11 pm

            As safety reason the sheesha isn’t allowed and I’m agree with it

        • Prof. Saleh Ezmirly May 12, 2013 at 2:05 pm

          Selfish thinking .

          Reply
        • suzen May 12, 2013 at 3:52 pm

          @ Moe u’re high dude.lol

          Reply
        • Tariq May 12, 2013 at 4:28 pm

          Im a shisha smoker to.. but if You don’t care about your self at least car abut others (the 300 passengers els) you will be the reason for fir and you will kill them All

          Reply
          • Flatron May 13, 2013 at 11:11 am

            I’m not agree with idea at all , what’s matter to have a shisha in the plain , really it’s selfish thinking !!!

          • moe December 4, 2013 at 8:44 pm

            guys if this is thre which is highly unlikely since smoking is banned even in some airports, they said sheesha lounge wouldn’t u think it’s actually going to b an area where there is fireproofing and ventalition, also there are some electrical sheesha now days where u don’t need charcoals all u need is batteries, so all of u chill out and embrace that the flights they r talking about would b very long distance which means tickets as business class would cost at least $5000 would u guys pay this much and not want something special other than a better leg room

        • Anonymous May 12, 2013 at 7:24 pm

          Yap yap hhhhhhhhh

          Reply
        • Mary Hecht May 12, 2013 at 10:34 pm

          Puff away Moe… Puff away ;)

          Reply
        • Anonymous May 13, 2013 at 6:01 pm

          LOL !!! you sound like one of those peoples in movies who die first !

          Reply
        • Anonymous May 13, 2013 at 11:15 pm

          “Who cares about safety?” I love your argument hahaha

          Reply
        • Anonymous May 15, 2013 at 5:21 am

          I hope u dont fly emirates

          Reply
        • Ae May 15, 2013 at 5:23 am

          Hope u dont fly emirates u will be a pain

          Reply
        • Your daddy December 6, 2013 at 3:44 am

          Why dont you own your plane so you can do whatever you want

          Reply
    • Jay May 12, 2013 at 1:13 pm

      Fuk! the comments are hilarious! I always we had thousands of idiots amongst us

      Reply
    • Anonymous May 12, 2013 at 9:59 pm

      You guys are not thinking at all. The smoke that a shisha releases is a vapor not smoke. Second there are actually electric coals available on todays market which they can use. These people are not stupid. They know what they are doing.

      Reply
      • Anonymous May 13, 2013 at 4:24 pm

        Finally a smart comment. Exactly, the airline people are not stupid. Emirates is one of the leaders in aviation and know how to maintain their reputation. I am sure all the necessary safety precautions will have been taken by them.

        Sincerely,
        A shisha lover!

        Reply
      • Anonymous May 13, 2013 at 9:50 pm

        It actually is smoke..you are smoking normal tobacco…get your shiet together…

        Reply
      • Jerry May 14, 2013 at 6:57 pm

        There is no mention of the flavors on offer…. I assume they will be offering Bahraini Double Apple -the people’s choice

        Reply
    • Mick Flynn May 13, 2013 at 2:13 pm

      I’m glad that 99% of the commenters are against this (or too stupid to understand satire), and hope they will sign my petition to get it stopped. My last petition was a great success and there is no longer a Belly Dancing Lounge and firing range in first class PIA aircraft

      Reply
      • Moe May 13, 2013 at 10:42 pm

        I agree it was right to stop belly dancing it is against Sharia law but what is your argument against a firing range?

        Reply
        • Anonymous May 17, 2013 at 12:52 am

          I miss the firing range on PIA first class… Used to be so much fun shooting at the others in donkey class… ;)

          Reply
          • Anonymous May 29, 2013 at 7:53 am

            No no no……….shooting is fun I agree but also very dangerous, almost as dangerous as smoking! Why can’t we progress forward with technology and introduce tayzer’s or something. Compromise and innovation can co-exist!

      • arjun May 15, 2013 at 10:43 am

        PIA..FTW

        Reply
    • Anonymous May 13, 2013 at 4:02 pm

      I like your comment and agree with you that smoking must NOT be allowed at all

      Reply
      • Merlin May 13, 2013 at 5:38 pm

        I dis-agree with your comment. 50 years ago, smoking was good for you! At the moment it is bad for you? In 10 years it will be ‘good’ for you again! Emirates are well ahead of the curve here. They should be congratulated for their forward thinking!

        Reply
    • Anonymous May 13, 2013 at 7:07 pm

      If you have ever smoke it you would know that it is mostly vapor that gets in the air. There is small odor but goes away fast. Not anything like a cigar or cig

      Reply
      • ChayseMan May 14, 2013 at 4:52 pm

        no, you’re completely wrong. you’re COOKING tobacco to create smoke, which is FILTERED through water. it is not a vapor. you are smoking flavored tobacco which is filtered through the actual hookah. you obviously don’t smoke the sheesh. hahah.

        Reply
    • nora helaly May 14, 2013 at 5:36 am

      Not bad

      Reply
    • Anonymous May 14, 2013 at 9:16 am

      Really?!

      Reply
    • ardnas May 16, 2013 at 5:49 am

      I totally agree with ur comment! This is ridiculously unsafe , n even if it was: wat about non smoking/ asthmatic people on board?! Ahah! This won’t work! N I can’t believe something like this can b approved n made official! Emirates is putting safety second while services first: it shud never b done n they will go down if they impliment this!

      Reply
      • ardnas May 16, 2013 at 6:05 am

        Ps: I just tried to act like sm of the smart people here! This article is hilarious people!!!!! Laugh !!!! Ahahaha;)))

        Reply
    • smoke rings May 28, 2013 at 7:54 am

      I own a hookah lounge and can attest to the fact that hookah smoke dissipates very quickly unlike cigarettes, and can easily be filtered out of the lounge area, keeping it separate from the rest of the plane. Secondarily, to ALL the idiots saying it is unsafe and it could cause a fire… Coals used for the hookah burn at a much lower temperature than open flame. The most a dropped coal is going to do is put a black mark in the floor. Experience for the win. Now shaddup you smoke-hating bigots!

      Reply
  3. Aziz May 11, 2013 at 8:07 pm

    I thought smoking is not allowed on board.

    Reply
    • Merlin May 12, 2013 at 2:32 pm

      Not so! if you are a Lithium-ion battery it’s almost compulsory?

      Reply
      • Anonymous May 12, 2013 at 3:53 pm

        How howlariously true!

        Reply
  4. Anonymous May 12, 2013 at 4:01 am

    Fake article. I work in emirates and know this is bs

    Reply
    • Moe May 12, 2013 at 11:41 am

      Not everything about Emirates is given to its employees. If you pay for First or Business class you should expect a shisha service. Why not!

      Reply
      • Shiekha Trollita May 12, 2013 at 12:56 pm

        You are a legend moe!

        Reply
    • ENAR May 12, 2013 at 3:55 pm

      agree with you.. its not poss for EK for introduce something like this

      Reply
  5. ali May 12, 2013 at 5:26 am

    what a silly and bad idea

    Reply
  6. Anonymous May 12, 2013 at 5:34 am

    Such a lie..

    Reply
  7. Saun May 12, 2013 at 5:35 am

    This isn’t real, it clearly shown that the Shisha was Photoshopped into the picture. plus it’s against regulation to have an active smoking device on board of an airplane during taxi.

    Reply
    • Anonymous May 12, 2013 at 9:57 am

      i agree with u this is not true photo
      In Dubai not allowed to smoke in your car how they are allowed in Aircraft

      Reply
      • hont May 14, 2013 at 10:07 am

        You’re not allowed to smoke in your car because you are driving. in the plane the pilot is flying so no problem. jeez get a life

        Reply
  8. Anonymous May 12, 2013 at 5:43 am

    It’s time to make these long haul flights more bearable

    Reply
  9. Anonymous May 12, 2013 at 6:00 am

    this is gonna be awesome!!! at the very least an individual wont have to endure a 14hr flight without smoking, this will calm the cravings somewhat :D

    Reply
    • Anonymous May 12, 2013 at 9:00 am

      ridiculous comment!!!!

      Reply
  10. Nawal May 12, 2013 at 6:06 am

    stupid idea ….

    Reply
  11. D May 12, 2013 at 6:20 am

    One word guys… Satire. Does no one actually know what they’re reading??

    Reply
  12. Anonymous May 12, 2013 at 6:25 am

    “The finest SATIRE from the Middle East”…
    Everyone go look up the meaning of the word in uppercase!

    Reply
  13. Anonymous May 12, 2013 at 6:57 am

    WHAT PART OF “Satirical News” DON’T PEOPLE UNDERSTAND? :-S

    Reply
    • Arabi May 12, 2013 at 7:30 am

      another stupid idea from Dubai

      Reply
      • HonGi May 12, 2013 at 10:53 am

        @Arabi
        You’re such a good example of an idiot internet user who believes anything out there.

        Reply
    • jane May 12, 2013 at 7:38 am

      It a good idea

      Reply
    • Anonymous May 12, 2013 at 10:28 am

      THANK YOU! i was screaming that out as i read the comments!!

      Reply
  14. aky May 12, 2013 at 7:32 am

    I love the story… but love the comments even better hahaha.. especially that one by Nawal…. this is GOLDEN

    Reply
  15. Khaled Yousef May 12, 2013 at 7:40 am

    Bad not good

    Reply
  16. aky May 12, 2013 at 7:41 am

    The story is funny… but the comments are always funnier…. “I work in Emirates…”

    Reply
  17. Hao123 May 12, 2013 at 8:08 am

    Any idiot will know that the pic is photoshoped

    Reply
    • Sheikh me gently August 30, 2013 at 5:16 am

      Of course it is. Once they start the service on Eid (where is the moon?) they will post actual pictures. Cant wait to try Bahrain Double-Apple.

      Reply
  18. bedoorkhalil May 12, 2013 at 8:08 am

    THIS IS NOT TRUE!

    Smoking is not allowed on airplanes in general because airplanes do not ventilate themselves, which means the smoke that is not filtered is recirculated into the cabin.

    Reply
    • Merlin May 15, 2013 at 3:17 am

      Don’t ventilate? Just open a window, problem solved.

      Simple solutions are always the best.

      Reply
      • Sheikh me gently August 30, 2013 at 5:18 am

        Airline food makes me ventilate myself

        Reply
  19. Anonymous May 12, 2013 at 8:12 am

    Wooooow!!!Good idea go ahead

    Reply
  20. Fathi baker May 12, 2013 at 8:24 am

    It ok but to be in safe way.i will order the shisha first one.

    Reply
    • Homod May 12, 2013 at 9:54 am

      Silly idea IATA should take action

      Reply
    • moftah alkaabi May 12, 2013 at 9:56 am

      Its a big disrespect. From emirates airlines to the company clients and to the uae reputation … They have to think again

      As a emirati I refuse such things in the plane which hold our country logo

      Reply
    • Abdulla Alhooti May 12, 2013 at 10:34 am

      Great. .creativity ..I think its revolution

      Reply
  21. A380 Pilot May 12, 2013 at 8:47 am

    Having been an A380 pilot for the past 30 years, I can happily say this is long overdue. And what’s better is that it’s only available to the elite folks who can afford Business & First, keeping out the riff raff – who usually smell so bad that even the strong smell of shisha can’t balance out their odorous presence. I’m looking forward to the shish tawook (with a hint of garlic) flavoured shisha, which i hear is reserved exclusively for Crew. I just hope it doesn’t impede my ability to fly because I haven’t tried it at 40,000 feet before. Might have to hold back on the Vodka this time! I guess we’ll find out on the way to London. Happy travels people!

    Reply
    • Anonymous May 12, 2013 at 11:30 am

      How can you be A380 pilot for the past
      30 years !!!

      Reply
      • Merlin May 12, 2013 at 12:35 pm

        Thank you anonymous, I also had my suspicions that A380 Pilot wasn’t the real deal. It was the ‘vodka’ that gave it away, no real A380 pilot would drink common vodka, I have it on good authority that they insist on Remy Martin cognac for their cockpit tipple, especially when they smoke! Naturally, in the interests of safety, they only do this while on auto-pilot, at any other time it may be a little dangerous?

        The guy is obviously a delusional liar!

        Reply
        • A380 Pilot May 12, 2013 at 1:20 pm

          You got me Anonymous. I’m guessing you’re a pilot yourself or somehow involved in the aviation industry? Your shrewd awareness and understanding of aeroplanes is something to be admired…. And Merlin, well spotted. I’m actually Cabin Crew with delusions of grandeur. You’re quite right, too. With Remy & Martin upfront, it really is a cock pit. A pit of cocks complements Shish Tawook shisha perfectly. On board we just call it Shisha tawook. Shall I explain why? Anyway, more than anything else, I’m just shocked at how many people in Dubai are called ‘Anonymous’. I had no idea it was such a popular name in the Emirates.

          Reply
          • Merlin May 12, 2013 at 5:03 pm

            A380

            ‘Anonymous’ is the must have Nom de plume of the ME wits???

            Oscar Wilde must be turning in his grave?

            Anonymoustapha, however, is well worth a read. BTW Anonymoustapha how is the private zoo coming along?

      • Syed May 12, 2013 at 4:18 pm

        Clearly not a pilot. The fact that that you have been flying an A380 for the past 30 years is impossible considering the aircraft has only been in operation for around 5 years or so. Please write something vaguely believable next time.

        Reply
        • A380 Pilot May 12, 2013 at 5:50 pm

          This just isn’t true…. Please stop spreading this propaganda. Clearly we have a Boeing mole here guys. I know industrial espionage when I see it, Syed. Read about it on Wikipedia. The Wright brothers flew the first A380 in the early 20th Century, over 100 years ago – just after Burj Khalifa and Dubai Mall were built. Back then Dubai airport’s main runway was Sheikh Zayed Road. It was so much nicer taking off within spitting distance to Emirates Towers…. Those were the days….

          Reply
          • M May 13, 2013 at 9:12 am

            You are admirable, Captain. By now i had forgotten about the article itself. Please tell me where you blog. :p I’d love to hear about your encounters with Elite Dimwits and the likes.

    • Soleil May 12, 2013 at 1:56 pm

      I think it is a spiffing idea! When do you think they will start up the annual Camel rides up and down the aisles? I really enjoyed that last year, really gave us a ‘flava’ of the real Dubai, and the kids just LOVED it!

      Reply
    • Anonymous May 12, 2013 at 8:33 pm

      Dude…. shush… dont tell them all the secrets.. or else some guests will be asking about the pole dancers..

      Reply
    • Meanbean May 14, 2013 at 5:54 pm

      Hey A380 Pilot……….Are u sure u r an Airline crew to say the least? OR Is it your wishful thinking? Do you measure the E/Y paxs as riff-raff???? Where do u think the airlines generate it’s revenue from? Before you began flying, F/C had a max 10-15 seats. Your arrogance is ‘beyond compare’, u sound like a WANNA-BE. Get real. There are 10000′s of pilots like you & i happen to be one of them. I feel sorry for you.

      Reply
      • Merlin May 15, 2013 at 2:56 am

        Meanbean – or should that be Moonbeam?

        I very much doubt you are a pilot. If you were, you would be aware that the ‘riff-raff’ are only tolerated by airlines, just to balance the aircraft in flight.

        Reply
  22. Anonymous May 12, 2013 at 9:20 am

    Its mean also we can smoke cigarites in ecinomy class

    Reply
  23. Tamerlane May 12, 2013 at 9:26 am

    I’ve always wanted to be high in an airplane…

    Reply
  24. Alex May 12, 2013 at 9:35 am

    Great idea for a long haul flight. I don’t know why most of you are complaining, I highly doubt you are first class passengers anyways. Read the article, there is no shisha in coach, it obviously doesn’t affect you.

    Reply
  25. Hamoud Almajdalawy May 12, 2013 at 9:47 am

    Hahahaha

    Reply
  26. Quinapalus May 12, 2013 at 10:13 am

    Oh for crying out loud.. The Pan Arabian Enquirer is a satirical web site. The writers make things up for comic effect. If you are unable to tell the difference between satire and news you are probably too dumb to own a computer. I suggest you switch it off now, pack it back up in the box it came in and take it back to the shop you bought it from.

    Reply
  27. Zain May 12, 2013 at 10:15 am

    I love that honestly hehehe

    Reply
  28. Anonymous May 12, 2013 at 10:21 am

    Look carefully at the pictures, all Photoshoped ;) … fake article.

    Reply
  29. ClearOnTheConcept May 12, 2013 at 10:32 am

    Another great article, and even greater comments. Thank you Nawal and Emirates employee for the entertainment.

    For those who are yet to figure it out, read the tagline of the publication, and if you still do not know what satire is, here is the definition from http://www.dictionary.com:

    sat·ire [sat-ahyuhr]
    noun
    the use of irony, sarcasm, ridicule, or the like, in exposing, denouncing, or deriding vice, folly, etc.

    Reply
  30. Hak May 12, 2013 at 10:36 am

    Let them be entertained, lol

    Reply
  31. Andrea Anastasiou May 12, 2013 at 10:40 am

    Beam me up, Scotty…

    Reply
  32. Anonymous May 12, 2013 at 10:42 am

    Hi the lady photo is fake it should be bottle of wine in hand,,,

    Reply
    • Blind? May 13, 2013 at 2:59 pm

      No, are you blind, it’s a shisha….people come on!!

      Reply
  33. Hussain :) May 12, 2013 at 11:03 am

    This is a great example of the term “cyber-bullshitting.”
    I’m an Emirates staff plus a photoshop expert and I’m amazed to see how naiive people are.

    الله يغربل مخكم ههههههه

    Reply
  34. rai May 12, 2013 at 11:03 am

    i love how many readers still don’t understand that this website writes satirical articles. the serious comments that they post in response to the articles are funnier than the articles themselves sometimes. the fact that people are buying some of the stories here is testament to the fact that the articles are so well-written. keep it up!

    Reply
  35. Anonymous May 12, 2013 at 11:05 am

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA to article AND comments!!!
    Can’t believe some still don’t know what PAE is…

    Reply
  36. zaid May 12, 2013 at 11:07 am

    The idea is awosome I loved that, guys every thing possibal dubai always suprise us withh such ideas, I never fly withh other earline emirates where you fell you are onboard, it would be better if this shisha apply to allthe classes on the flight nott only bussniese and first class …. Thanks Dubai keep it up +++++

    Reply
    • Moe May 12, 2013 at 11:45 am

      If you know someone in First or Business, you can join him for shisha at a discounted price. Also they will now serve shisha in the Gold Class section of Dubai Metro!

      Reply
  37. Gigi May 12, 2013 at 11:11 am

    V. Bad news . Against safety and health.

    Reply
    • Sakem May 12, 2013 at 11:35 am

      No
      It is very bad idea and not acceptable by all

      Reply
  38. Anonymous May 12, 2013 at 11:24 am

    This is totally wrong, you can see that the green shisha is photoshoped and it’s like an image brought from Google images, and the woman when she was giving the passenger the shisha her right hand wasn’t holding it properly

    Reply
  39. Anonymous May 12, 2013 at 11:31 am

    Nonsense !!!!!

    Reply
  40. Anonymous May 12, 2013 at 11:43 am

    i really dont know who to blame for stupidity after reading this article…the people who believe it, or the publishers of this website!
    Definitely not Emirates

    Reply
  41. Moe May 12, 2013 at 11:44 am

    Dear Maaam/Sirrrrrr,

    After reading your article I was so excited I booked a year’s worth of flights with Emirates only to find out that this article is not true. I have now lost thousands of dirhams because of you! How can you lie to people this way? Who do you think you are? CNN? BBC? ABC? or Fox News to lie this way hahaha Love how ppl fall for this!

    Reply
    • Merlin May 12, 2013 at 1:49 pm

      Moe, I feel your pain, I really do.

      Your comment saved me, just as I was about to do the same!

      Never mind Brother, this really great guy from Nigeria sent me an e-mail, I was amazed by what he told me. Honestly I didn’t realise that making money was SOOOO easy. I should keep this to myself but I’m willing to share this good fortune with you!

      Now, all I need are your bank details………

      Reply
  42. Feher May 12, 2013 at 11:52 am

    Photoshoped photos

    Reply
  43. Anonymous May 12, 2013 at 11:59 am

    Guys what you see above is photoshop, it is imposible to add shisha service onboard the A380′s, and i dont trust this web site as well

    Thanks

    Reply
    • Merlin May 12, 2013 at 1:15 pm

      Excuse me! You don’t trust ‘The Pan’? Does your cynicism arise from any solid evidence, or are you unreasonably biased against this fine, upstanding and exemplary news source?

      Reply
  44. Khalil Georges May 12, 2013 at 12:02 pm

    Emirates will introduce Shisha!!! it is as true as I am the Emperor of Japan.

    Reply
    • Merlin May 12, 2013 at 12:46 pm

      その後、あなたは、確かに、日本の天皇!

      Reply
      • Pricey May 13, 2013 at 9:57 am

        Brilliant Merlin

        Reply
  45. Anonymous May 12, 2013 at 12:06 pm

    un believable not true

    Reply
  46. Chris de Burj May 12, 2013 at 12:09 pm

    Of course it is photoshopped – they haven’t introduced it yet so this is just an impression of what it will look like.

    Don’t you people know anything ?

    Reply
  47. Anonymous May 12, 2013 at 12:11 pm

    and TO HELL with flight safety! We want shisha, right?!..:p

    Reply
  48. agrais May 12, 2013 at 12:15 pm

    Look at the air hostess, no body holds a shisha like this! unless it’s a bottle of wine and been replaced with a fake picture!

    Reply
  49. Merlin May 12, 2013 at 12:21 pm

    Will we be allowed to smoke shisha as we relax around the on-board swimming pool too?

    It’s not very fair on the riff-raff though. Perhaps Emirates could run to a courtesy 12.5g of Golden Virginia and a pack of Rizzlas for economy class pax? That might ease my guilty conscience?

    Reply
  50. Anonymous May 12, 2013 at 12:30 pm

    Finally, an airline with some common sense. Now not only do we have Beds, Showers, Gourmet food and 5 star service, we can enjoy a Shisha on our long business trips away.
    That TRUE Arabian experience will only be complete with abandoning silly landing slots, and have the bigger, faster and more expensive aircraft land first by simply flashing the shitty old ones out of the way upon approach to the runway.
    Add to this, departure times which are 2 hours flexible (“I am just finding parking..”) and a Shawarma spit in economy, and we’ll be there.

    Reply
    • Mark Walshe May 12, 2013 at 12:47 pm

      I can’t believe how many gullible people there are in this world. It’s a wind up. It’s satire. Dumb and stupid doesn’t come close…..

      Reply
    • Merlin May 12, 2013 at 12:57 pm

      Parking problems will soon be a bad memory, A380s will have basement car parking height restrictions mean only Lambos, Ferraris and other such supercars will be permitted – fantastic!

      Reply
  51. Ace May 12, 2013 at 12:46 pm

    Breaking news: Emirates to ban all passengers that believe in the news stories on the Pan Emirates Enquire web site. “ If people are that stupid to beleive in such preposterous story lines post by this website, how will they be able to open an exit door, of for that matter a toilet door in an emergency. We can’t risk the safety of our passengers and crew.”

    Reply
  52. katrinblue May 12, 2013 at 12:49 pm

    This has been a really good belly laugh. The comments are even funnier than the article. Good work, Pan Arabia Enquirer. Keep it coming!

    Reply
  53. BiGsAm May 12, 2013 at 12:53 pm

    Can’t stop laughing at the comments!! LOOOOOL……

    Reply
    • Anonymous May 12, 2013 at 2:29 pm

      Bad idea, must be stopped for more secure of passengers.

      Reply
  54. Cecil Archibald May 12, 2013 at 1:09 pm

    The comments, and the clear outrage that this has caused is funnier than the article itself! The general lack of differentiating between satire and reality is unreal.

    I now understand how certain ‘newspapers’ who shall not be named *ahememiratestwentyfoursevenahem* get away with pumping out the crap they do, thereby killing mass amounts of braincells.

    Now, excuse me while I go back to reading the real news on how an irritated djinn is terrorising unsuspecting goats in a remote area of KSA.

    Reply
  55. Nabil May 12, 2013 at 1:15 pm

    Sheesha need coals, and coals might cause fire in the plane. What a risky decision

    Reply
  56. Jay May 12, 2013 at 1:27 pm

    yes … they walk among us … I once did a “who’s on third?” straight face conversation with one of them, honestly … 15 mins later he threatened to kill me and this was AFTER I had explained the joke …. fukin robot

    Reply
  57. Rami May 12, 2013 at 1:28 pm

    If this true ….I think EK will be loosing the laicence to fly because its an international agreement ,,, unless IATA change there minds regarding smoking

    Reply
    • Merlin May 13, 2013 at 4:57 pm

      IATA rumoured to have entered into a $10 billion sponsorship deal with Mont Blanche Tobacco Inc. Not only might smoking be allowed, it may also be a pre-requisite for discounted tickets?

      Reply
  58. Anonymous May 12, 2013 at 1:34 pm

    Hahahahahahahahahhaa u guys r so funny!!! This is all bullshit!!! Cant believe ppl really think its true hahahahaha

    Reply
  59. Anonymous May 12, 2013 at 1:37 pm

    WHAT IS THE WORLD MOVING TO!!! :o NEXT THEY WOULD START SERVING *LEAVES* ON LONG FLIGHTS TO KEEP THE PASSENGERS CALM.

    Reply
  60. anon to andy May 12, 2013 at 1:51 pm

    THIS IS SATIRE -__-

    Reply
  61. laila May 12, 2013 at 1:53 pm

    Lol I think this news is false I work for emirates airline and I never heard if it !!! And im assuring you if it was true I would be the first to know !!

    Reply
    • Qate B June 2, 2013 at 9:44 am

      YOU would be the first to know? It is good to know that we are in the company of such important and influencial people; you must be head of Development and Marketing??

      Reply
  62. Anonymous May 12, 2013 at 2:08 pm

    Its great news :)

    Reply
  63. shish-ma-heesh May 12, 2013 at 2:16 pm

    there are some complete f&$%ing nuggets in this world!
    This is all too funny!

    One would think that a sense of humour exists even if English is not the first language!
    (they don’t appear to be German…)

    Reply
  64. Anonymous May 12, 2013 at 2:19 pm

    Plzzzz people do you believe that stupid who cretaed that rumour? Thats a lieeee. Hahaha

    Reply
  65. Kinan Jarjous (@jarofjuice) May 12, 2013 at 2:23 pm

    I am disappointed that the article does not mention what flavours are available. I think there should be an Emirates Signature Blend on there, priced 3x above the rest and I have believe it should be Chai Karak flavour.

    Reply
  66. hashim yaseen May 12, 2013 at 2:37 pm

    Must be stopped as its bad idea, more secure for passengers.

    Reply
  67. Merlin May 12, 2013 at 2:50 pm

    This could surpass the Katie Price / Jordan article – 156 comments to go!

    Reply
  68. usa boy May 12, 2013 at 2:55 pm

    Wooooooooow so nice I love it so much thanks for you for this alot

    Reply
  69. Dr/ Ibrahim Alkhateeb May 12, 2013 at 3:12 pm

    Dr/Alkhateeb consultant cardiac anaesthatist it’s impressive idea no airline will do it it will be unique for emerita airline and I am shesha smoker unfortunit but if you think about it physically because of high altitude and human physiology in that hight and general public Heath care and the disadvantage if some passenger get attract on board and fire safety in case bad weather and other passenger non smoker (passive) health care my advise not to start it one shesha equal 100 cigarets so let your passenger smoke as befor and keep special close captain on the back of the plain with especial ventilation system better idea and increase number of your passenger less dangerous and smart idea mobiel 00966506273933 Saudi Arabia Alkhobar saad hospital

    Reply
  70. Saud May 12, 2013 at 3:20 pm

    Hey ppl this is satire news. It’s not real, check out the word satire in dictionary.

    Reply
  71. Salim ALSuwaidi May 12, 2013 at 3:23 pm

    Fake news

    Reply
  72. Tobacco Free Dubai project leader May 12, 2013 at 3:37 pm

    Unbeliveable news,,,!!!

    Reply
  73. Russell May 12, 2013 at 3:39 pm

    That’s ridiculous. They should think for a better marketing catch than a stupid shisha on airplane

    Reply
  74. Adel karam May 12, 2013 at 3:39 pm

    This offer is very bad and will change my lines EMIRATI

    Reply
    • Anonymous May 12, 2013 at 4:08 pm

      Yas its very bad thing & I will not arrive agin…
      It’s really you think improved or its go down

      Reply
  75. Hilal. Z. Alkindi May 12, 2013 at 3:41 pm

    To allowed shisha at the plane this not a good advice. Instead of geting few passangers on board first & business who like it you will end lossing hundred’s of passangers who will not like it both on board first, business& also economic class.h

    Reply
  76. Charbak May 12, 2013 at 3:51 pm

    Can the crew have a puff? In uniform :)

    Reply
  77. Anonymous May 12, 2013 at 5:01 pm

    Could I have a free trial!

    Reply
    • Sami May 12, 2013 at 5:50 pm

      A non smoker & others shouldn’t object if 1.shisha operates on 12v.double circuit breakers,sealed section,fully separate ventilating system won’t mix w/other passengers and go through filters only,price should be min 150 $. If IATA approved I don’t see why not !!!
      Go for it Emarate even if this is a photoshop.

      Reply
  78. Anonymous May 12, 2013 at 5:12 pm

    This is dangerous and rediculous why jump to shisha what happend to smoking sigarets or cigars.
    Besides how is the ventilation going to be controlled ?

    Reply
  79. sweeTy May 12, 2013 at 5:12 pm

    I disagree to put shisha in the plane as it is harmful to health

    Reply
  80. Anonymous May 12, 2013 at 5:14 pm

    Nice, that means i won’t need to rush to closest hookah place after i get off the flight lol

    Reply
  81. Anonymous May 12, 2013 at 5:19 pm

    Well is they Smoking Shisha then i am gonna Smoke my Cigarettes and let me see how they will stop me

    Reply
  82. face May 12, 2013 at 5:35 pm

    This is not true
    And about photo its edit by photoshop prigramme and u can see it clearly

    Reply
    • Qate B June 2, 2013 at 9:41 am

      I thought they used Microsoft Paint?

      Reply
  83. Monzer May 12, 2013 at 5:40 pm

    It is absolutely strange to allow smoking aboard flights while all aviation world wide is going for banning smoking. I am sure Emirates have considered all safety related issues before taking such a decision. I think they are just trying to be different by providing this extra ordinary sevice to its first class passengers.

    Reply
  84. John May 12, 2013 at 5:44 pm

    This is a great idea! I’ve always thought the little whistle on the life jacket was a bit silly…..if people don’t hear a plane falling from the sky the wont hear ‘wooooo woooo’ now you could send a smoke signal. Genius. It is actually a safety enhancement.

    Reply
    • mazin May 12, 2013 at 9:47 pm

      John my friend the little whistle on tge life jacket is not to call people from out of the sea!! Its for calling to other victims or crew after an emergency!!!

      Reply
    • Merlin May 13, 2013 at 4:20 pm

      Inspirational thinking John, the shisha’s contribution to flight safety just may well be ground breaking?

      Mazin – your knowledge of life jacket whistles is sorely mis-guided, they neither call people from the sea nor call other victims / crew; a common mis-conception. They are scientifically tuned to summon friendly Mermaids, seriously!

      Reply
      • Ariel (The Mermaid) May 15, 2013 at 10:47 am

        Merlin – dont be silly. The whistles are not scientifically tuned to Mermaids (or for that matter, Mermen’s) hearing. They actually summons dolphins, who by the way are addicted to shisha. I therefore applaud Emirates decision to serve on board shisha to First and Business Class passengers as the Dolphins will then be saving a better class of passenger as they will be attracted by the aroma of double apple.

        Reply
        • Merlin May 15, 2013 at 4:00 pm

          Ariel – your shabby attempt at deception is blown sky high!

          IF, you were a Mermaid you would be perfectly aware that there is no such being as a “Merman”!!!!! – Derrrr!!!

          Dolphins are best tuned to the call of Rhinolophus hipposideros (Horseshoe Bat) – have you ever seen an Air Hostess demonstrating the need to feed the Horseshoe Bat in your life jacket – NO!

          Have you ever actually seen a Horseshoe Bat in an aeroplane – NO!

          The whistles are for Mermaids – FACT!!!

          In any case dolphins are especially partial to ‘sardine’ shisha, not double apple!

          Reply
          • Ariel (very DEFINITELY a Mermaid) May 19, 2013 at 12:30 pm

            Merlin, of course there are Mermen, where do you think Merbabies come from and as for the idea of dolphins being tuned to the call of the Rhinolophus hipposideros what utter twaddle. The lesser horseshoe bat lives in warmer regions in foothills and highland, particular wooded areas or areas of limestone. In summer its habitats have been recorded up to 1160m above sea level, and up to 2000m in the winter, with the highest known nursery roost at 950m . I have been a keen chiroptologist for several years now and believe me, I know what I’m talking about. I think you must be referring to the lesser known sea bat, which is normally found aboard naval vessels at 3am. You have also been associating with a pod of very low class dolphins, middle and upper class dolphins will only smoke double apple and at a push mint lemon.

        • Farah September 5, 2013 at 1:18 pm

          Do mermaids have fingers? I think not so how did you type this comment then ?

          Reply
  85. Dana May 12, 2013 at 6:04 pm

    A silly idea from silly people!

    Reply
  86. Anonymous May 12, 2013 at 6:23 pm

    Emirates wouldn’t have gone with it if it was illegal….you guys are sick to talk of negatives

    Reply
  87. Anonymous May 12, 2013 at 6:24 pm

    Ya hek khedme ya bala

    Reply
  88. faisal May 12, 2013 at 6:40 pm

    It is adviceable to replace the oxgen mask from overhead to shesha mask
    hahaha

    Reply
  89. Vattabutthead May 12, 2013 at 6:42 pm

    For everyone who believes this article is actually real, there is a free first class ticket for the inaugural shisha lounge flight on its way to you in the mail. No need to contact anyone, just sit by your inbox and wait for it to arrive.

    Reply
    • marko May 13, 2013 at 12:53 pm

      Hehe! Brilliant!! Cannot believe people think that it is real ;-)

      Reply
  90. Anonymous May 12, 2013 at 7:31 pm

    this is bad so bad why to makeurselfs so cheap rules r rules u dont break them for profit@

    Reply
  91. Yousef Al-hamad May 12, 2013 at 7:59 pm

    Very bad very bad very bad bad bad news

    Reply
  92. khalid May 12, 2013 at 8:04 pm

    we cant say anything keep it up.EK

    Reply
  93. fatmiah May 12, 2013 at 8:27 pm

    Very good♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

    Reply
  94. Anonymous May 12, 2013 at 8:37 pm

    Do people read the name of the web page? It says satirical… In other words it s a joke, if u doubt it… Wait for the1st class ticket…ahahahah

    Reply
  95. Anonymous May 12, 2013 at 9:13 pm

    its a satirical source guys.. come on

    Reply
  96. Na_cheq May 12, 2013 at 9:28 pm

    It says in plain English at the top of the page “The Pan-Arabia Enquirer. The finest SATIRE from the Middle East.” Illiterate assholes.

    Reply
  97. JoeCanuck May 12, 2013 at 9:38 pm

    Whomever wrote this could not possible have known they were pulling the pin on the most explosive outrage grenade imaginable. No single mind, no matter how creative, could imagine this obvious bait would hook so many suckers.

    Ladies and gentlemen of the PAE, I salute you.

    ps…where do I send the bills for a new keyboard and cleaning for my pants?

    Reply
  98. Mrcoffee May 12, 2013 at 9:43 pm

    It is against safety and IATA regulations. . I don’t believe this will happen. .

    Reply
  99. mazin May 12, 2013 at 9:44 pm

    Guys.. get a life! 1stly I dnt think its real.. 2ndly Its emirates we’re talking about! Theres definately in no case real coal going on board!! What I can think of is an electric sheesha! Just like an electric cigarette! And this is very practical

    Reply
  100. Anonymous May 12, 2013 at 10:18 pm

    Woooooooow I love it

    Reply
  101. Gaurav May 12, 2013 at 10:32 pm

    All u guys are bored actually commenting to each others replys if ek wants to make it available legally it’s up to them am sure they are responsible enough to take the safety precautions and who ever doesn’t like the idea don’t travel there are other flights that take U to the same destination get a life

    Reply
  102. Nadeem Massoud May 12, 2013 at 10:34 pm

    Turbulence plus charcoal!! Bad mix

    Reply
    • Quinapalus November 12, 2013 at 11:56 am

      Satire plus stupidity!! Bad mix

      Reply
  103. Manar. May 12, 2013 at 10:42 pm

    hahahahahahahah you guys made my day. thank you!! Love the made up picture/news and your comments? are SUPERB!!!

    Reply
  104. Anonymous May 13, 2013 at 7:35 am

    Biggest laugh is how many people don’t realise they’re following a satire page… brilliant !!

    Reply
  105. Tinkerbell Von Sweetie May 13, 2013 at 7:53 am

    I cannot believe how many gullible people there are i.e. you believe EVERYTHING you read! Go and look up the word ‘Satire’ for goodness sake and get a sense of humour!

    Reply
  106. mazen sulaiman May 13, 2013 at 8:43 am

    I don’t think that Emirates airline so stupid. In addition to the dangers that can occur economically unprofitable. I think they will lose a lot of customers if they let this happen.

    Reply
  107. Ahmed May 13, 2013 at 9:04 am

    The irony in this subject is that at a time when, in spite of the deadly promotions that tobacco companies carryout on one hand, and the entire world attempting to limit the circulation of this hazardous habit in many venues on the other, having to see a renowned airline, instead of being part of the campaign for what’s better for humanity is announcing Shisha and promoting bad habits on its flights….Are we missing something between the lines?…What a strange world !!!

    Reply
  108. Anonymous May 13, 2013 at 9:14 am

    Hahahahahah its a SATIRE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Jeez, get a sense of humour, arabs!!

    Reply
  109. Khalid May 13, 2013 at 9:38 am

    It’s not true ….100%

    Reply
  110. one May 13, 2013 at 9:43 am

    stupid website. nothing is true. wake up ppl and read some real news

    Reply
  111. Anonymous May 13, 2013 at 10:03 am

    PEOPLE! Wake up! The Pan Arabian Enquirer is a satirical magazine!! Which means it’s all bullshit & is meant to make you laugh. Get with it people! Read the slogan underneath the big fat logo.

    Reply
  112. Spartan May 13, 2013 at 10:04 am

    I would love such a service… there is no harm in sheehsa… i do it always…those who want let em do it, others can sleep or listen to music….

    Reply
  113. cheeseontoast69 May 13, 2013 at 10:08 am

    I’ve also heard that Qantas are introducing BBQs on their A380s as all Aussies love a good barbie, and regular airline food is rubbish. A complex exaust system will funnel the smoke outside and a fire blanket will be close at hand. No worries.

    Reply
  114. marko May 13, 2013 at 12:15 pm

    Cant wait!!!! :-p I’ve also sent a request to Emirates, with 500 signatures in the hope that they will install a Nasimi Beach lounge in first class, complete with sand, shisha, cigarettes, drinks and Dreamworks specialist masseurs all on hand to take the boredom out of long haul flights… yay!

    Reply
  115. Anonymous May 13, 2013 at 12:39 pm

    I hope this trial will not run smoothly. It is very strange how Emirates allow for this trial; I think it will destroy Emirates reputation.

    Reply
  116. Buks Burger May 13, 2013 at 12:47 pm

    It must be true because it was written on the internet.

    Reply
  117. omrayan May 13, 2013 at 1:20 pm

    i have just contacted emarites flights about this shisha thing and that was the replay

    Thank you for contacting Emirates.

    The website you refer to is a satirical website and the articles featured on that website are not meant to be taken seriously.

    Emirates does not plan to introduce Shisha lounges on board aircraft.

    Should you need further information or assistance, please contact us and we will be pleased to assist.

    Sincerely,

    Nicola Chandiok
    Customer Sales and Service Representative
    Emirates Airline

    so stop lying and spreading false info

    Reply
    • Merlin May 13, 2013 at 4:32 pm

      Rumour has it that Nicola is still ‘Cakking herself laughing’ six hours after sending that e-mail!

      Reply
    • abudhabichris May 13, 2013 at 4:35 pm

      Omrayan, you should get back to them and ask if your lost sense of humour is still circling a baggage carousel in DXB T3.

      Reply
    • Flumpet May 15, 2013 at 10:52 am

      Go home omrayan – you are drunk.

      Reply
    • Qate B June 2, 2013 at 9:22 am

      Omrayan, clearly you contacted the wrong department; Sales and Service deal with existing facilities. You need to contact Marketing and Development.

      Reply
  118. yousuf irshad May 13, 2013 at 1:39 pm

    How is it possible, under the agreement all flights are non smoking.

    Reply
    • Qate B June 2, 2013 at 9:25 am

      With sufficient funds, anything is possible. Even the World Cup in UAE!

      Reply
  119. Anonymous May 13, 2013 at 2:02 pm

    Wow great now my father will smoke shisha on the plane also i fucking hate my life -.-

    Reply
  120. Anonymous May 13, 2013 at 2:42 pm

    i think they should also provide a pub and night club to make the trip interesting .

    Reply
  121. Anonymous May 13, 2013 at 2:54 pm

    I’m honestly getting abs from laughing from these comments!!

    Reply
  122. Anonymous May 13, 2013 at 2:56 pm

    Its all photoshop its fake news edits

    Reply
  123. Anonymous May 13, 2013 at 3:16 pm

    everyone here is really stupid.

    Reply
  124. Trevor May 13, 2013 at 4:42 pm

    I think this is the longest comment thread I have ever seen on PAE and the fact that it is the longest scares me so much about what our world has become! I find it priceless that someone actually contacted Emirate because of this article. Kudo’s PAE Team, you have truly made my day. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go practice my green light honking, I need to beat that .0012 sec record for fastest honk after the light turns green!!

    Reply
  125. Anonymous May 13, 2013 at 6:08 pm

    Though this sounds like a total BS, but I do not respect those of you who just don’t like Shisha being served with no clear argument. What is more dangerous, 100s of Litters of Alcohol or a KG of tobaco?!

    People are not allowed to carry any kind of liquids on board while the cabin is full of bottles of fine wine and vodka.

    Apart from the fuel -located in the wings-, Alcohol is what makes the aircraft cabin burn -after a crash-.

    Who wants to stop it? Who can?

    Reply
  126. Anonymous May 13, 2013 at 6:12 pm

    ومالو :D

    Reply
  127. Anonymous May 13, 2013 at 7:05 pm

    BREAKING: In response to recent fervour regarding Emirates Airlines’ Shisha smoking plans, Qatar and Etihad Airlines announced today that, in the interests of web-hosting bandwidth savings, and as the world’s first ever and biggest competitive corporate marketing partnership, June 1st all Qatar and Etihad Premium First passengers eligible for the Platinum Teeth Lounge will be able to enjoy playing on gold-plated facilities in their Table Football screened-off VIP Zone whilst waiting for live updates on the re-stocking of the caviar bar. This deal has been co-sponsored by the ‘left over tables in Harvey Nics Dubai’, Paris Saint-German, David Beckham, Boris Johnson, the next Mayor of London-Qatar, Barcelona FC and Wigan City Council. Manchester City withheld comment but deferred all enquirers to “United’s whoever is in charge now ‘loser’”.

    Reply
    • abu alashabab May 13, 2013 at 7:52 pm

      I Wish to. Say that. You. Could use the internet. And the latest mobile phones and. Electronic equipment in some thing could more valued rather than talking …….she.

      Reply
  128. Anonymous May 13, 2013 at 8:28 pm

    Guys electronic cigarette is not allowed on emirates flights , shishaaaaaa hahahahha ??????????? Hard luck shisha smokers, maybe in 2089 keep waiting :p

    Reply
  129. vinisha May 13, 2013 at 8:57 pm

    If smoking is banned inaircrafts,how com sheesha is allowed.will that not effect on other passengers who do not smoke!!those passengers could be kids or pregnant ladies or any paitents??

    Reply
  130. Faham45 May 13, 2013 at 9:08 pm

    what a ridiculous article. it tells us about the sheesha service and doesn’t say what flavours are available!? Whats the point if there is no Mint???

    Reply
  131. Alim May 13, 2013 at 10:56 pm

    I work in Adobe for 30 years and this is definitely not Photoshopped.

    Reply
  132. Anonymous May 14, 2013 at 1:25 am

    Great. I love E.m.irates and their innovative ways

    Reply
  133. jenn May 14, 2013 at 4:07 am

    Don’t be too hard on the folks that don’t get satire…it’s getting closer and closer to reality every day. For example, this is reality but it SHOULD be satire:
    http://gawker.com/saudi-student-visited-by-fbi-after-using-pressure-cooke-504443418

    Reply
  134. Anonymustapha2D2 May 14, 2013 at 5:58 am

    I just can’t catch a break today. First I find out that this story isn’t real and Emirates won’t give me refund on the 1st Class ticket I booked yesterday to take advantage of this great offer. Then I find out that the $32 Million Dollars I was promised by the widow of General Obekwele Mbele ( the late Secretary of Transport for the Government of Negala ) hasn’t reached my bank account yet! To make matters worse I paid for that ticket on my credit card in the safe knowledge that I would be able to pay off the bill using some of my $32 million. Oh woe is me, why does this keep happening! Anyway you live and learn, hopefully those Bitcoins I bought in Karama will go for a song on Ebay and all will be well.

    Reply
  135. Mr Gove May 14, 2013 at 7:00 am

    BREAKING: In response to recent fervour following Emirates Airline’s proposal to serve shisha on board, fervour which a British Airways spokesperson described as ‘shocking’, BA have today announced that commencing June 1st in-flight entertainment for passengers en route to London will now include optional English Language workshops. In a move described by industry insiders as ‘controversial’, (remarks later explained as ‘likely to result in fisticuffs’), BA’s gold embossed Certificates of Achievement in English (SAT) will not be awarded to passengers who have simply arrived, enjoyed a nice lunch, and watched the training video for six hours whilst fiddling with their iPhones. Instead, an exit exam will be used to test proficiency in the use of words beginning with the letters SAT, such as ‘satire’. The BA spokesperson added, “The comments section of the PAE demonstrated that certain Middle Eastern travellers and quite a few Germans may struggle on arrival in London without adequate preparation in ‘taking the mickey’, and Americans find it difficult to differentiate a zed from an s. Our new service is simply a courtesy to summer residents of Knightsbridge and those destined to be stuck for hours at Terminal 5’s transit lounge pubs mixed in with the Magaluf bound crowds.”

    Reply
  136. wamala edwin May 14, 2013 at 7:53 am

    whoever reported this is selfish in thoughts. just imagine smoke on plane when they cant even allow phone calls. stupidity!!!!

    Reply
  137. Anonymous May 14, 2013 at 8:09 am

    Cant wait. Double apple shisha with a double vodka. Great idea and so healthy! Hours in a smokey room with nowhere to go. I hope they make it like a proper shisha cafe with the loud egyptian music, gorey horror films and shwarma. Well done Emirates!

    Reply
  138. Alan Sunlotion May 14, 2013 at 8:10 am

    Cant wait. Double apple shisha with a double vodka. Great idea and so healthy! Hours in a smokey room with nowhere to go. I hope they make it like a proper shisha cafe with the loud egyptian music, gorey horror films and shwarma. Well done Emirates!

    Reply
    • Flumpet May 15, 2013 at 10:59 am

      Alan, are you plagiarising Anonymous or are you really Anonymous’s alter ego or just schizophrenic . If so you must have an awful lot of split personalities judging from some of your other Anonymous comments on here. Perhaps you should just lay off the shisha and vodka and stick to the medication the doctor gave you. By the way, are you Australian?

      Reply
  139. Anonymous May 14, 2013 at 8:11 am

    If u don’t agree .. don’t fly on it .. so easy

    Reply
  140. tota May 14, 2013 at 8:45 am

    They have 2 oppsite opinions…one prohibiting smoking in all open area.in cities..while offering shisha on board ..please stop clear contrary feelings..and behaviours..

    Reply
    • Qate B June 2, 2013 at 9:34 am

      It’s called “choice”.

      Reply
      • Quinapalus November 12, 2013 at 12:21 pm

        No, it’s called “satire”. Google it!

        Reply
  141. hadhri May 14, 2013 at 9:40 am

    when the EASA accepted. why not

    Reply
  142. Anonymous May 14, 2013 at 11:14 am

    There really is some moronic dickheads on this site!

    Reply
  143. Anonymous May 14, 2013 at 2:32 pm

    PHOTO SHOPED for sure. The Image of the flight attendance offering it for sure is a photo shoped one. Weather the news is true or not am not sure

    Reply
    • Flumpet May 15, 2013 at 11:03 am

      I’ve been an Emirates Trolley Dolly for the past 45 years and that is me in the picture. Yes I was holding a bottle of wine and of course they photoshopped the shisha pipe in but that is because the licence for the shisha had not yet come through from Dubai Municipality so the photographer had to photoshop one in, so he could get the picture to the journalist in time. The flavours currently on trial are double apple, mint, cherry and grape. There are plans to add further flavours when the on board shisha guy gets his visa.

      Reply
  144. Taha AL-Madani May 14, 2013 at 2:33 pm

    PHOTO SHOPED for sure. The Image of the flight attendance offering it for sure is a photo shoped one. Weather the news is true or not am not sure

    Reply
  145. Anonymous May 14, 2013 at 3:49 pm

    are people so stupid that they do not understand the word satire?

    Reply
  146. ChayseMan May 14, 2013 at 4:46 pm

    this is all fake. lol. can you all not see how horrible of a job they photoshopped the hookahs in? hahah. it’s a joke. xD

    Reply
  147. fake May 14, 2013 at 7:37 pm

    fake fake fake

    Reply
  148. Anonymous May 15, 2013 at 4:12 am

    If your up for paying $20,000 for a first class ticket then you should be able to smoke whatever you want!

    Reply
  149. Anonymous May 15, 2013 at 5:23 am

    Maybe this is Omrayan first travel!!

    Reply
  150. Mikey May 15, 2013 at 9:50 am

    Perfectly reasonable. I have previously been lighting and passing around my full-sized shisha on board. And they only give you that little cup of water to refill it (!) When the coals fall, I usually ask a nearby kid to blow on it for a few seconds, then pick it up for me, so no problem there.

    And as for the smoke, it hasn’t been a problem yet: once the whole cabin was so thick with beautiful grape & mint, you couldn’t see the person next to you.

    Now, I won’t have to carry that huge shisha around, and of course I expect the cabin crew will bring by coals – just push the call button. Well done Emirates! And PAE.

    Reply
  151. Sam Abouhamed May 15, 2013 at 1:15 pm

    It is an excellent idea . I will flay always with emarits airline .

    Reply
  152. Merlin May 15, 2013 at 2:43 pm

    Emirates Shisha story now ‘Top of the Pops’ with 238 comments!

    Congrats PAE!

    In addition to the ‘Thumbs Up / Down’ ratings we could do with a ‘No Shit, Sherlock!!’ rate as well? Just to reward the gullible, and encourage them? After all, their contribution is pivotal to the entertainment.

    Brilliant article!

    Reply
  153. Phil May 15, 2013 at 11:57 pm

    After all the training the crew get in the importance of fighting fires/smoke on board, emirates want to introduce this?? What a stupid idea? I mean what moron comes up with these ideas? Emirates has really lost the plot…

    Reply
  154. Anonymous May 16, 2013 at 3:08 am

    you guys do realise that there is nicotine free sheesha thats probably what they will offer

    Reply
  155. Alan Sunlotion May 16, 2013 at 7:27 am

    From the obviously similar satirical words is Flumpet and Ariel the Mermaid the same person????

    Reply
    • Flumpet May 19, 2013 at 12:33 pm

      No

      Reply
  156. Alan Sunlotion May 16, 2013 at 7:31 am

    Sam. I hope the police dont catch you flaying with emarits, I reckon you would get locked away for a long time as a sexual deviant!

    Reply
  157. Jonny Millar May 16, 2013 at 9:36 am

    Priceless comment….

    Reply
  158. Ziggy Smogly May 17, 2013 at 5:41 am

    Lots of Iranian Photoshop experts here… :P

    Reply
  159. Sam May 17, 2013 at 1:53 pm

    you do realize it does say pan arabia enquirer, 7 star “SATIRICAL” News source!!

    Reply
  160. Moosa Al Jaafari May 17, 2013 at 9:28 pm

    safety it will be zeroooooooo

    Reply
  161. sandeep May 18, 2013 at 7:49 am

    Why should only business and first class passengers benefit from this.

    Reply
    • Merlin May 19, 2013 at 3:57 am

      Sandeep, don’t be so naive. If you can’t afford First or Business class you don’t deserve on-board Shisha? Why should any airline provide cattle class, with anything?

      Dignity and respect are valuable commodities, if you want them you pay for them.

      Now don’t be a miser, get your hand in your pocket and enjoy the benefit, you know it makes sense!

      Reply
  162. Anonymous May 21, 2013 at 12:32 pm

    To all you idiots, don’t worry Emirates is so high-tech that the hookahs are electronic -thank you technology, thank you Emirates for the electronic shisha!

    Reply
  163. Sohail A. Chouhan May 22, 2013 at 9:13 am

    I think the comments were funnier than the story itself. Perhaps you guys should announce the dumbest comment each and every Friday on your FB or Twitter feed.

    Reply
  164. Anonymous May 23, 2013 at 12:35 am

    I hear another airline is introducing the iShisha – which provides the full shisha experience with no harmful smoke.

    Reply
  165. Anonymous June 2, 2013 at 12:10 am

    This is fake guys. The pics on top are obviously photoshoped.

    Reply
  166. Shisha Gold Member June 6, 2013 at 6:24 pm

    Hey guys, just flew first class 380 on Emirates and and the mint grape vodka shisha was superb! The captain even made a special announcement informing us to use the shisha seat clip if we wished to continue smoking during landing! What great service!

    Reply
  167. Anonymous June 9, 2013 at 8:55 am

    IT’S ABSOLUTELY NOT TRUE !!!!!!!!

    Reply
    • Dr Watson June 10, 2013 at 8:30 am

      You are a Heartless ‘Cad’, Sir!

      My long standing colleague, Nay, friend, the Great Mr Sherlock Holmes has retired to the local hostelry in irretrievable grief, as a result of your overt display of your perception and logic.

      He used to consider himself to have the greatest analytical mind in the World. You Sir, have made him feel quite inadequate.

      Shame on you!

      Reply
    • Qate B July 9, 2013 at 11:58 am

      Oh so you say it’s absolutely not true. Where’s your evidence; prove it!

      Reply
  168. Yehoshua Friedman June 14, 2013 at 7:37 am

    I love this, especially all the extinguished gentlemen who comment. I wish them a speedy recovery from burnout.

    Reply
  169. Muhammad Aldalou June 16, 2013 at 8:28 am

    Clearly, people have still not grasped the fact that this website is a satirical news site.

    Reply
  170. Deems June 30, 2013 at 10:06 pm

    ummm.. first off all This article is obviously a hoax. And even if it wasnt , has any of the extremely fanatic anti-smoke people ever heard of e-cigs and e-hookahs? its called google, use it, really , its easy.

    Reply
  171. Anonymous July 1, 2013 at 12:30 am

    What a silly scam!!!!
    First it’s against international regulations and second it would jeopardize the safety of every passenger on board.

    Reply
    • Qate B July 1, 2013 at 5:33 pm

      If you have money; international regulations are irrelevant.

      Reply
  172. dandubai July 1, 2013 at 2:56 am

    Just landed after a long flight from the US and loved the on board shisha lounge! Thankfully the peasants in cattle class are not afforded this luxury, although a few were brought into business class as the cabin crew needed help handing out ice, champagne and fois gras.

    There were a few close shaves with the guy swinging the coal carrier but the fires were quickly put out but the economy class passengers – but breath a sign of relief, the temperature of my champagne wasn’t affected and the lower classes were rapidly removed from business…..burnt hair does not mix well with shisha and champagne I can tell you!

    A little insider tip……mix a few 500dhs bank notes in with the coals, gives that smoke an extra kick!

    Reply
  173. Znh July 4, 2013 at 10:31 am

    How come people still do not know that the pan arabia enquirer is a news satire organisation? Some of the comments are extremely silly and naive…

    Reply
  174. Anonymous July 11, 2013 at 9:21 am

    Emirates shisha is the best. Been smoking it for years but its even better at 45,000 feet. Wish there was a Shisha Mile High Club. I would definately join. Hello tomorrow.
    No need for the non smokers to complain any more because on my last flight I was able to open the window a little to let the smoke out.
    Emirates you’re the best.

    Reply
  175. SamWham July 18, 2013 at 6:30 pm

    I was born and brought up in Dubai. Left the place (read:continent!)for good since I always felt like an outcast because of the overly dumb population—> Please read them comments! hahaha..Its all Satire ‘habibi’!!

    Reply
  176. Jacko July 30, 2013 at 1:11 pm

    This is clearly not true but a number of people have espoused an alternative that although misspelt would be pure genius if Emirates would like to consider it for future flights. Hookahs

    Reply
  177. Anonymous September 2, 2013 at 5:59 am

    You guys are missing the point here. Emirates are the first to do anything for customer satisfaction and that is a plus to a certain group of people(Shisha). Kudos to Emirates for that but for sure there will be divided opinions on the subject above. Best Airlines Full Stop…..

    Reply
  178. business traveller September 19, 2013 at 5:24 pm

    This is a great idea – I will always fly Emirates now!

    As for the non-smokers, and babies and pregnant mothers, just book the seats at the back. Simple.

    Long live the Pan Arabian Enquirer!

    Reply
  179. Hannah September 26, 2013 at 7:29 am

    The problem is when you have DUMB IDIOTS posting such BS news and the sad part that people are actually BELIEVING SUCH STUPIDITY…STOP BELIEVING EVERY BS POSTED ON THE WEB…

    Reply
    • Quinapalus November 12, 2013 at 1:16 pm

      If you don’t like (or don’t understand) Satire, don’t read Satirical websites

      Reply
  180. Anon October 3, 2013 at 11:13 am

    Pure GOLD!!!

    Reply
  181. Anonymous November 1, 2013 at 3:40 am

    I’m surrounded by IDIOTS! IDIOTS!

    Reply
  182. Anonymous November 6, 2013 at 10:30 am

    I enjoy this article too much. And I enjoy the comments more too much.

    Reply
  183. Anonymous November 6, 2013 at 10:35 am

    I enjoy article too much. I enjoy comments more too much. I also have quiz. I will give you 20 rupees if you guess my nationality.

    Reply
  184. Anonymous November 26, 2013 at 1:58 pm

    did people not read it, it says “with our new Signature Shisha Rooms” so there will be a room set aside for people that wish to smoke. meaning not evenone will be in the room only people wishing to smoke it.

    Reply
  185. z November 27, 2013 at 3:50 am

    What part of “SATIRE” don’t you people get? SMH.

    Reply
  186. Jimbo November 27, 2013 at 4:17 am

    This article is pretty funny, but it’s nowhere near as funny as some of the comments that follow. Anybody who has made a serious comment about the article above is welcome to send me a money order for any amount you like. I will invest it for you and send you a money order for double the amount within one week. I will. Honest. You can trust me. I wouldn’t lie to you.

    Reply
  187. Shaikh Baabyshake November 28, 2013 at 6:26 am

    Satire? What has an Indian guitar got to do with it? Are they going to have those for business class as well? Not sure I could stand that for 8 hours to Heathrow! They would be better off talking to Sir Elton, he is always up for a gig if the price is right!

    Reply
  188. Hashish November 28, 2013 at 3:49 pm

    You’re all a bunch of f*cking MORONS. The title of this website has the word SATIRE in it.

    Learn to read you brain dead lemmings… The photos are photoshopped.

    I swear the world is FULL of idiots who believe anything these days.

    Reply
  189. sue November 28, 2013 at 4:44 pm

    The World’s only 7 star “satirical” news source. What part of this do people not understand? This is supposed to be a hoax. Unfortunately, people do not know how to read.

    Reply
  190. Anonymous November 29, 2013 at 7:57 pm

    first of all i love hookah and i wouldnt mind it being on the plane. but due to safety reasons it cant be.. and the picture you guys are seeing is photoshopped. look closely.

    Reply
    • Anonymous December 6, 2013 at 12:25 pm

      They walk amonst us

      Reply
    • Pablo the Confused December 8, 2013 at 7:53 pm

      I’m looking….closely………. err what am I looking for exactly. Please give us a clue

      Reply
  191. Doh! November 30, 2013 at 2:00 pm

    No shit sherlock!

    Reply
  192. STUPID PEOPLE!! November 30, 2013 at 2:15 pm

    How can people be stupid enough to not realize this is crap??? I can’t believe all the stupid comments from all the stupid people.

    Reply
  193. Rasha December 4, 2013 at 11:45 am

    Waaaaaaaaaoooooo

    Reply
  194. Anonymous December 7, 2013 at 2:43 pm

    To all the Imbeciles who actually believe this FAKE article with FAKE pictures, I salute the absence of your brains.I work at Emirates and this is all BS.Smoking is not allowed on ANY flight as per Airline regulations and safety standards.Even the article has a grammatical error if you read closely.

    Reply
  195. Baron Edward Von Halen January 23, 2014 at 8:53 am

    Emirates: will you upgrade all A380 aircraft to allow electronic Shesha charging ports?

    Reply
  196. tnaseem April 11, 2014 at 9:54 am

    Really makes me laugh at all the comments here. You guys do know you’re reading ‘news’ item on a SATIRICAL NEWS site, don’t you? Yes, the pictures are Photoshopped, but that’s the point! The item is meant to be funny. Sheeesh. People really are stupid. Talk about jokes going over peoples heads.

    Reply
  197. Sahar April 13, 2014 at 12:21 pm

    Dear ladies and gents, who have kept me entertained with your comments and ideas, does not one of you know what page you are on???
    This satire.
    Please click the “About Us” button on top of the page to find out…
    Or you know what, I have done it here, open this link
    http://www.panarabiaenquirer.com/about/

    Reply

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