British expatiate Steve Jones has been “loving every second” of Christmas spent in a dreary Bahraini hotel bar while buying overpriced drinks for bored Asian hookers, it was reported yesterday.
“You can’t get this in Britain,” the married father of two reportedly said. “You got the weather, it’s tax-free, the girls are beautiful. What’s not to love about Christmas in Bahrain?” he asked while spending the equivalent of $150 on drinks for the business women sat near him.
“Woaaah! We’re all having a crazy great time, aren’t we ladies?” said 54-year-old Jones, while putting his arms around an 19-year-old Chinese hooker. “We’re all mental here in Bahrain,” he added, as his companion continued texting clients and playing Candy Crush on her phone.
“People do down Bahrain all the time but they’re just jealous,” he said. “If I was at home right now, I’d be sitting down to Christmas dinner with my wife and kids. We’d probably be having turkey and stuffing and Christmas crackers in our quaint little village. Who needs all that when you can watch reruns of premiership games while dressed in a Man United football jersey in a darkened bar in an anonymous, bland hotel.” he asked.
Jones was later seen sobbing in a lift on the way back to his soulless apartment in Juffair.
“Living the crazy Bahrain life!!!!!” he posted on Facebook, moments later. “Been in the pub all day with amazing friends. Jealous much UK people?” he wrote on Twitter.
Colleagues say Jones loves Bahrain so much that he now plans to spend New Years Eve “desperately trying to exchange football banter with a confused Filipino prostitute who only said she supports Liverpool because it’s the one English city she’s heard of .”