RAMALLAH: Five-year-old Mohammed Bakr Ellham hopes a massive, blood-curdling Hamas rally ends in time for the hilarious antics of SpongeBob SquarePants, it was reported yesterday.
“If the ‘swimming in the blood of Israel’ speech ends by 3.30pm, and we commit ourselves to martyrdom by 3.45pm, I just might make it home by 4pm to find out if Mr. Krabs and SpongeBob are reunited with Barnacle Boy,” he said.
“Down with the filthy Zionists!” chanted Ellham, while carrying an M60 machine gun and wearing an imitation suicide belt. “If this doesn’t end soon, I’m going to have to wait a week to find out if SpongeBob finally defeats irritable octopus, Squidward Tentacles.”
Hamas has been holding mass rallies in the West Bank for the first time since 2007, thanks to a united Hamas-Fatah peace agreement in April.
“Don’t get me wrong, I’m all for a united Palestine but I wish they had worked out their differences after the Spongebob series ends in July,” he said. “Down with the Jewish infidels!”
“I’ve missed three episodes of Dora The Explorer and two episodes of Barney The Dinosaur since the rallies began last month,” said four-year-old Khalid Al Abboud, while adjusting his suicide belt. “I’m hoping this unity pact breaks down before Power Rangers starts in August. Down With America!,” he added.