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Gulf braces itself for deluge of ‘Islam is a peaceful religion’ articles

Newspaper also warn that stockpiles of comment pieces are running dangerously low

Published on January 8, 2015

The Gulf was last night preparing itself for a torrent of ‘Islam Is Peaceful’ articles following the murder of 12 people at the French satirical magazine, Charlie Hebdo.

“We can expect almost every publication in the region to be clogged up with ‘Islam is Peaceful’ opinion pieces in the wake of the massacre,” said Middle East expert Bella Cockpit. “These are expected to last for at least the next two weeks. The public cannot say it hasn’t been warned.”

Sources suggested that every regional broadsheet will point out in leader columns that “The Prophet (PBUH) was a man of peace”, “These people don’t represent us” and “I have many Muslim friends and none of them are extremists.”

“Pointing out the painfully obvious is expected to continue well into next month,” said Gulf media analyst Prof. Tim Meyer. “After all, The Prophet was a man of peace, and these people don’t represent the average Muslim and I have many Muslim friends and none of them are extremists,” he explained.

Meanwhile, several publications have warned that their stockpiles of ‘Islam Is A Religion Of Peace’ articles were running dangerously low.

“With five scheduled each day for the next week, our supplies almost depleted. We need at least another 20 pieces pointing out that Islam is a religion of peace and that these people don’t’ represent the average Muslim to see us through,” said The Daily Gulf’s regional editor, Sam Saltan. “The thing we all need to realise is that all of us here in the Middle East have Muslim friends and none of them are extremists,” he noted.

Meanwhile, The Abu Dhabi Examiner has vowed to employ an extra 100 female Muslim columnists to produce ‘Islam Is Peaceful’ articles for the next month.

“As a Muslim, while I don’t agree with this French magazine I am not for violence,” wrote Saleh Al Suweidi in her tenth column written last night. “The Prophet was a man of peace. I am a Muslim and I have many Muslim friends and none of us are extremists,” she noted.

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8 Comments

John

January 8, 2015 at 9:28 am

You should be ashamed of yourselves using the tragedy in France to make a satirical article. No wonder this website is declining. I hope you never have to face any kind of hardship or loss in your sad pathetic lives.

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Wiley

January 8, 2015 at 1:16 pm

Bit too soon for satire….maybe?

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fihuang

January 11, 2015 at 7:12 am

Calling Charlie Hebdo satirical is being too generous. Now, you guys are satirical and ingenious at it, too.

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Syed Azeem

January 12, 2015 at 11:25 am

hahahaha this is a nice piece

muslim apologists are sickening

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Mazhar Fakher

January 17, 2015 at 5:32 pm

Je suis Khaleej Times

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D. Cameron

January 18, 2015 at 12:40 pm

I don’t know what the fuss is about. I have a lot of Muslim friends who say that Islam is the religion of peace, they are not representative of the Muslim population and none of them are extremists. D. Cameron, UK.

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tauqs77

January 21, 2015 at 12:34 pm

How about a cartoon making fun of Charlie pedo !!

viva la resistance !!

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Rob William Aitken

January 24, 2015 at 3:38 pm

I hope those people criticising the use of satire here, are themselves being satirical. Otherwise I fear they may have missed the point of satire entirely.

Reply