Hamas approves of gay marriage so long as one of them is wearing a balaclava

“There is nothing more beautiful than pure love between two men. Unless one of them takes his mask off and we have to shoot him dead, burn his body and drag it to the Israeli border.”

“There is nothing more beautiful than pure love between two men. Unless one of them takes his mask off and we have to shoot him dead, burn his body and drag it to the Israeli border.”

GAZA: The Hamas-led government of Gaza yesterday issued a new ruling approving of gay marriage, so long as one of the partners is wearing a balaclava at all times.

“It could be a woman under there for all anyone knows, so it’s kind of a ‘don’t ask, don’t tell’ policy,” said Hamas ruling council member, Khaled Haniyeh.

“We have to balance competing interests,” continued Haniyeh. “On one side we have to respect civil rights. On the other hand, our organisation ruthlessly persecutes homosexuals, emos and even suspiciously happy hairdressers. So there’s a subtle balance we have to strike.”

“There is nothing more beautiful than pure love between two men,” added Hamas spokesman Mohammed Al Qadr. “Unless one of them takes his mask off and we have to shoot him dead, burn his body and drag it to the Israeli border.”

2 Responses to Hamas approves of gay marriage so long as one of them is wearing a balaclava

  1. groucho marx March 30, 2014 at 9:55 am

    don’t ask, don’t tell. Ha ha!

    Reply
  2. Mahmoud Hirsuit - Hamas Hammam Salon and Spa March 30, 2014 at 12:16 pm

    “We anticipate this new ruling creating a dramatic increase in trade for us, particularly our popular ‘back, sack & crack’ pakage.
    For a limited time, we will be offering a free balaclava to all of our Clients, as well as the generous post-wax massage”

    Mahmoud Hirsuit – Lt. Colonel of the Hamas Hammam Salon and Spa

    Reply

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