Hamas approves of gay marriage so long as one of them is wearing a balaclavaGAZA: The Hamas-led government of Gaza yesterday issued a new ruling approving of gay marriage, so long as one of the partners is wearing a balaclava at all times.
“It could be a woman under there for all anyone knows, so it’s kind of a ‘don’t ask, don’t tell’ policy,” said Hamas ruling council member, Khaled Haniyeh.
“We have to balance competing interests,” continued Haniyeh. “On one side we have to respect civil rights. On the other hand, our organisation ruthlessly persecutes homosexuals, emos and even suspiciously happy hairdressers. So there’s a subtle balance we have to strike.”
“There is nothing more beautiful than pure love between two men,” added Hamas spokesman Mohammed Al Qadr. “Unless one of them takes his mask off and we have to shoot him dead, burn his body and drag it to the Israeli border.”