Iran denies Eurovision development programme
Deadward - Ireland's entry last year would have been under serious threat from Iran's current Eurovision programme, claim Israel
The detailed claims, which were unveiled this morning to the UN by Israeli Defence Minister Ehud Barak, are focused on a high-security rehearsal facility south-east of Tehran, where intelligence sources claim to have found evidence of gold hotpants, giant inflatable stage props, and dance routines.
Reports that investigators had also found a discarded lyric sheet for a song entitled “You’re a Cutey (Slap My Booty)” could not be confirmed.
Iran's major Eurovision facilities, according to Israeli reports
“Reports that we are arranging a high-energy song n’ dance number for Eurovision use are pure fantasy, concocted by warmongering Israeli politicians,” said an Iranian government choreographer.
But Israel stood by its allegations, and claimed direct military action could be taken against the rehearsal facilities with or without UN support.
“The Iranian Eurovision threat is real and palpable,” said Israeli Eurovision Inspector Moisha Twinkletoes. “The world mustn’t be fooled into compromise and must strike now to prevent an Iranian pop assault on Saturday’s competition, or it could be a genuine case of Boom Bang-a-Bang.
“And I don’t mean Lulu’s much-loved 1969 Eurovision entry of the same name,” he added.
Worried in Warqa: 
Baron D. van de Zaadbal: 
Chris de Burj: 
UglyCamel: 
Sohail A. Chouhan:
These Iranians need to be stopped in their musical tracks right now, before things get out of hand. European nations depend on this song contest to ridicule and slag off their neighbours, not to mention providing a platform for talentless has-beens. Iran’s intention to muscle in on the act to spite Israel would surely bring the whole event into disrepute and make it a laughing stock. Besides, it is unfair to Jedward to bring possibly more lurid costumes to the stage, at this point in proceedings.
Eurovision is the original axis of evil.