Arts & Entertainment
Israel calls for military strikes against hot Lebanese women after George Clooney proposes to girlfriend
International community urged to stand up to Hollywood star’s unprovoked act of terror
Groups across Israel were this morning calling for international condemnation and possible military action against hot Lebanese women following reports that George Clooney had proposed to his girlfriend Amal Alamuddin.
The Batman & Robin star, who only last year claimed to have had no marriage aspirations, is believed to have been showing off an engagement ring with the Beirut-born barrister over the weekend, provoking a wave of anger from fans across Israel.
“We cannot allow the world to sit idly by in the face of this unprovoked act of terror,” said Lydia Cohen of the Tel Aviv George Clooney Appreciation Society.
Cohen, echoing a call being heard across Israel, is now urging for military strikes against all attractive single Lebanese women to prevent such a situation from arising again.
“These terror cells need to be dealt with swiftly before they have time to ensnare more Hollywood heartthrobs,” she added.
Meanwhile, many groups expressed concern that Clooney, already considered to harbour liberal views, will have been corrupted further by Alamuddin, who will likely seek to influence the Confessions of a Dangerous Mind actor’s future cinematic choices.
“I mean, she’s a human rights lawyer, for god’s sake,” said Hayley Azgad, founder of the IDF Women Totes Adorbs Clooney Facebook page, which currently boasts over 5,300 followers.
“Clearly she’s already been feeding poor George lies and we’re no doubt going to be seeing him suddenly involved in a load of bleeding heart nonsense about settlements, injustice or other pro-Palestinian mumbo-jumbo. The great anti-Semitic takeover of Hollywood has begun.”
Israeli fears appear to have been justified this morning with the news that Clooney is now favourite to take the lead in upcoming Middle East rom-com, You Had Me At Jihad.
April 28, 2014 at 3:08 pm
Hahaha! So true it hurts.
April 28, 2014 at 6:04 pm
The true meaning of discrimination of whom pretend to be open minded & Democratic & worst they believe in humans right! .
so what?! shes Lebanese, shes a human being and he loves her!
Sick mentality ppl! ,,,, if she were anything but Lebanese then thats okay?!!! Whatever!
April 28, 2014 at 7:02 pm
It’s satire. No one has actually called for the “condemnation and possible military action against hot Lebanese women.”
April 29, 2014 at 3:18 am
It’s a Satire!!! Joke it’s not real
April 29, 2014 at 2:41 pm
Talk about missing the mark. Did you ever stop to consider what the theme of the site you are currently on might be? Hint: “Spreading the hummous of satire over the flatbread of news”.
April 28, 2014 at 8:08 pm
Is this serious? Such a shame
April 29, 2014 at 1:11 am
You have to ask?! Of course it is not serious. It’s clearly satire. Think!
April 30, 2014 at 7:07 am
They have been bombed for so many stupid reasons that this one is believable to some!
April 29, 2014 at 12:23 am
come on people it is satire! have a sense of humor!
April 29, 2014 at 4:46 am
She comes from an Anti Semitiic family and this is very scary.
April 30, 2014 at 10:39 am
May 1, 2014 at 11:51 pm
Lebanese are Semitic btw not only Jews
April 29, 2014 at 7:27 am
Seriously, there are some really dumb people in this part of the world. Its not real folks get a life or some kind of basic education.
April 29, 2014 at 7:40 am
First of All Define Anti Semis ? does it mean for you that if you are not a Jew you are an anti semis ? well correction that is wrong
Lebanese women & man with such as influence in the world does not give a shit about semis & anti semis .. more over now you just opened her eyes into a new case against the Israeli gov…
Why do everything has to be against the well being of Israel.. is Israel considering the Well being of their neighbors or Even The well being of the Palestinian who had their land stolen & kicked out to nowhere & killed under the Israeli Army …
How does the world justify this money or a reaction to the Holocaust ?
More over there relation has nothing to do with the power Israel is dreaming off !!!
April 29, 2014 at 12:55 pm
Georges – what the fuck are you going on about. Talk about spewing crap. You dont make sense on anything! Idiot.
April 29, 2014 at 12:57 pm
If you are anti semis does it mean you dont like big lorries??
April 30, 2014 at 11:41 am
I too, am anti semi. I much prefer fully tumescent!
April 29, 2014 at 2:34 pm
This cannot be a true story! However, with Zionist mentality and American acquiescence, a day is not far off when such stories will be normal msm daily news.
i need new friends
April 29, 2014 at 3:12 pm
You would not believe the number of people on my fb feed that are sharing this..AS REAL NEWS!!! Makes you lose faith in humanity (or my fb friends to be specific)..Other than that, hilarious 🙂
April 29, 2014 at 4:46 pm
how she dares to date with a fucking jewish
April 29, 2014 at 6:35 pm
You stupid heads ! She’s Druze ! Go research the Druze and how long they’ve been supportive of Israel and the Druze role in the Military Army in Israel. How ungrateful is those Jewish fanatics to see the Druze in the same eye they see terrorists. This calls for a Druze strike in Israel…
April 29, 2014 at 8:07 pm
Se non e’ vero … e’ ben trovato
If this not true, it is well founded !
April 30, 2014 at 10:41 am
more stupid people. yay.
April 30, 2014 at 12:53 am
LMAO at this article.. how have all you readers missed that this is a joke and satire – hence the title of the site!
April 30, 2014 at 1:41 am
Love how this article reminds you that he did Batman & Robin. That movie sucked on ice.
April 30, 2014 at 2:39 am
jealousy, can do more than that
May 5, 2014 at 11:13 am
Terrorists and their supporters (and dupes) can’t shoot straight, fortunately, but their PR has always been admirable from the propaganda perspective. Sometimes even funny!
May 11, 2014 at 8:06 pm
The man is brave . “The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing” So good men follow your heart to find your happiness.
May 17, 2014 at 12:46 am
How can Arabs be anti-Semitics and they are purely a Semitic race !!!!!!!!!!!!! For God’s sake stop fooling the world with this term ,
John Mikhael half-Lebanese/half-Serbian
September 14, 2014 at 10:51 pm
Guys this is obviously a fake news report.