Israel Finds 1,000 Acres of Unused Land Just Lying Around

TEL AVIV: In an announcement made yesterday, Israel revealed that it was delighted to have stumbled across a patch of land just outside Bethlehem that was, in the words of politician Naftali Bennett, “just sitting there”.

“We’d been looking for a little more living room… you know how crowded it’s getting around Tel Aviv,” said the Minister of Economy and leader of the Jewish Home party. “And, wow, there it was. Nearly 1,000 acres as well! What luck!”

As in all cases, any other claimants to this barren, desolate land, which appeared to have been populated by nothing but well-irrigated orchards, have 45 days to come forward.

“But we don’t envisage any substantial objections, if you know what we’re saying,” said an IDF spokesperson.