Israel says US has a right to defend itself against unarmed black teenagers

TEL AVIV, ISRAEL: Following more than a week of violence in the US city of Ferguson, Missouri, sparked by the police’s fatal shooting of an unarmed black teenager, Israel this morning offered its full support to the Obama administration.

“The US has every right to defend itself against continued terrorist attacks from unarmed black teenagers,” Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu said in a statement.

“As a country also facing an existential threat from people we’ve been systematically persecuting for decades, we understand America’s pain. But by sending in paramilitary forces, arresting journalists, using gallons of teargas and blaming the victims for getting in the way of its bullets, the US remains a beacon of hope in an increasingly dangerous world.”

55 Responses to Israel says US has a right to defend itself against unarmed black teenagers

  1. fiorella massey August 19, 2014 at 3:07 pm

    This is nearly too idiotic to comment on but I can’t resist!
    Laugh while the bombs are falling on you!
    Laugh when you have to kill or be killed!
    Laugh when your foe is hellbent on your annihilation and the world too moronic to listen to truth instead of propaganda.
    People are dying on both sides and I realise everyone is most upset that more Israeli’s are not dying but guess what , every life is worth respect.
    This sort of article makes light of a very dangerous and very desperate situation.

    • Jesus would be ashamed August 19, 2014 at 5:40 pm

      Every life is worth respect? Tell that to the terrorist israelis

    • No August 19, 2014 at 9:26 pm

      Don’t talk about what you don’t understand, it makes you look like a fool.

    • goldberg August 19, 2014 at 10:07 pm

      Ur comment neglects that Israel is the one hell bent on destroying palestine. They are the military occupiers of the indigenous people of the land. Palestinians were never given a choice . Israel continues to make the choice to not free thr palestinian people. What u are saying is equal to someone saying Hitler was right to kill all the Jews bc they were hell bent on killing him and that ppl are just upset not more Germans died.

      • Being Logical August 20, 2014 at 8:21 am

        I’m just saying ‘goldberg’ but Goldberg himself is a Jew. You sure about what you wrote, mate?

    • Ziyz August 23, 2014 at 11:04 am

      No. People are not upset that more Israelis are not dying. People are upset that Israelis are bombing and KILLING so many Palestinian children and other innocent civilians. Quit trying to twist the truth to make your people the “victims!”

  2. Davizzz August 19, 2014 at 6:35 pm

    Brainwashed israel with their perverted leader are a disgrace to a human race…

  3. Anonymous August 19, 2014 at 7:56 pm

    Violence breeds always
    Why continue to play the game

  4. Sourabh August 19, 2014 at 7:59 pm

    A little common sense, insight, or research would have you know that this article’s quote is completely falsified.

    Sharing this article with the belief or hope that it is a true quote of Netanyahu is flaming the fire with a PR stunt that is basically gossip. Whatever your side is, make an informed, and educated contribution to the complexities of the situation.

    Also, keep in mind – the slogan of this site itself says it’s satirical, so take it with all in grain of salt.

    • Anonymous August 20, 2014 at 7:15 am

      What do you call someone who loves hitler and supports Israel? Indian hindu extremist! The only perverted kind on earth.

    • meghscase August 20, 2014 at 3:05 pm

      Duh, Sourabh. It’s satire.

  5. Anonymous August 19, 2014 at 8:05 pm

    Every (israeli) life is worth respect. They are the superior race and everyone else can be massacred.

    • Queen Mishka August 21, 2014 at 12:13 am

      And what “race” are you referring to?

    • Anonymous August 21, 2014 at 7:27 am

      You ignorant twat, clearly you have self hatred issues!

  6. Anonymous August 19, 2014 at 9:01 pm

    The residents of Ferguson are just that…terrorists! What is so mind blowing is that black people look for any reason to riot, loot and destroy their own local businesses forcing the business owners to pack up what they have left and move to better neighborhoods and then they wonder why they live in a slum? Hello….you created the slums!!!! Stop blaming white people and get some class!

    • AllMe August 20, 2014 at 12:45 am

      So would I be wrong to say that white people need to stop shooting up schools, movie theaters, etc, murdering innocent people and blaming it on mental illness and being socially inept?

    • Elephantine August 20, 2014 at 11:11 am

      Hey loser, lots of class commenting anonymously. Clueless moron.

    • Alan Sunlotion August 20, 2014 at 12:41 pm

      Dear ANONYMOUS Racist, lets go back to the slave trade, whip all the blacks raw, put them in chains, rape their women and make them say yessum masser all day. Would that make you feel superior and upper class?

    • Big Chuck August 20, 2014 at 9:36 pm

      Anonymous you’re anonymous for reason because you hide behind anonymity to spread totally false facts which is okay if you truly believe what you say. But one thing is a fact black people didn’t create and were not the first to ever live in slums and are not alone in residing in the slums. Whether you know it or not white people probably were the first to experience living in the slums of America. If you say something like black people created slums to the world you should wonder if your audience knows less than you. But I know that most educated people will know how idiotic your state is. Try again I can tell you failed history, try another subject like home economics.

    • aaaaaaa August 21, 2014 at 7:33 am

      You ignorent piece of shit, when you stop and hang your self, I assure you won’t be short of rope #twat

    • Richard the self-hating third August 22, 2014 at 2:15 am

      I’m assuming that your ‘Anonymous’ comment, like the article, is satire. I’d have had no trouble identifying it as satire but sadly, it DOES seem to almost echo some of the comments I’ve seen coming out of Israel over the last few years.

    • Cyanide August 23, 2014 at 11:17 am

      Don’t you mean, “Steal some class!” Lets be honest here, the white upper class have their wealth because white colonists stole land, wealth, treasures and people from non-white countries!

  7. dumb moooslam August 19, 2014 at 10:09 pm

    And there are some fools, yes fools, who actually believe this

  8. OccupyMedic August 20, 2014 at 12:46 am

    Um…. All of you realize that this is saTIRE, YES?

  9. kürdistan haberleri August 20, 2014 at 4:56 am

    And there are some fools, yes fools, who actually believe this.

  10. Anonymous August 20, 2014 at 6:12 am

    Um. The comments. Wow

  11. Anonymous August 20, 2014 at 7:26 am

    This is more likely just like every false propaganda the so called “news” puts out continuously. Just to try to get attention like a drugged out whore, that’s all the media is good for. As for the Ferguson situation, I can understand the riot over the unarmed murdered teen, I however cannot understand the looting of their own neighborhoods. You do not justify this killing by putting that freshly stolen flat screen up so you can enjoy it and show people like “Look at my new 60″ TV, yeah that will show those cops!”

  12. Killer Ringlets August 20, 2014 at 8:11 am

    You can’t blame the Israelis. They learnt everything they know about genocide, ghettism & annhilation from a little Austrian chap with a Charlie Chaplin Moustache in the late 1930’s and 40’……
    They clearly paid very close attention, and took notes.

    • Queen Mishka August 21, 2014 at 12:23 am

      I don’t recall Hitler butchering and gassing Israelis. What are you talking about?!?

      • Anonymous August 21, 2014 at 7:34 am

        I guess Israelis stopped being jews during the second world war then – idiot.

      • Anonymous August 22, 2014 at 5:12 am

        Please read up on your U.S. history and why WW2 happened and especially the treatment of the Jews by Nazis which were under the leadership of Hitler.

      • Columbine August 22, 2014 at 7:15 am

        Israel was set up as a place for the displaced Jews of the world, after Adolf had his go at destroying them. Much like Stockholm Syndrome, the Israeli’s seem to have latched on to this policy of ethnic cleansing, with a view to wipe out the Palestinians by building homes on top of them, then fighting back when they get a bit pissed off.
        That’s what i’m talking about, muppet!

        The Americans, who quite enjoy regular high school massacres, and defend venomously defend the right to maintain the laws that ensure a monthly massacre (2nd Amendment) see that they can enjoy this bloodlust vicariously, so send spare arms (they have lots) to the Israelis, because their political system is paranoid about the jewish vote.

        American gun, arms and military support policy is very basic. much like NASCAR, where you only have to be able to turn right several times in a row to be a champion.

        oy vey!

    • August 23, 2014 at 12:09 pm

      I can’t help but wonder if they actually thought the little Austrian chap all he knew.
      WW2 provided the springboard to Israel and even today provides a warped justification to most zionists for the precautionary extermination of the Palestinian people.

  13. exexpat August 20, 2014 at 8:27 am

    I was trying to type ‘wow’, but I ended up typing ‘woe’ by mistake, and then I realised it wasn’t a mistake. I would suggest that if you don’t really GET satire, commenting on it in an overly serious (and pretty unpleasant some of you) manner isn’t going to be your best work. Did the ads for the shirts that say ‘I’ve been taken up the Burj’ not tip you off at all, really? Stick to Buzzfeed peeps, it has kittehs. You like kittehs yeah? 😛

  14. Anonymous August 20, 2014 at 8:46 am

    I cant believe the morons who live in the middle east know such long words!

    • Someone from the Middle East August 20, 2014 at 10:34 am

      They said ‘speak your brains’ so why would that make you write a comment when you don’t have one?

      • Anonymous August 21, 2014 at 5:00 am

        I think you will find it is a comment – idiot!

  15. Anonymous August 20, 2014 at 10:18 am

    bla bla la makes more sense then the s h I t that is writing here.

  16. dip low matt August 20, 2014 at 10:35 am

    Why doesn’t Mr Obama invite the whole of Israel to move to Ferguson then they fight the unarmed black americans to theirs hearts content and leave the Palestinians alone

  17. Anonymous August 20, 2014 at 10:56 am

    This made my day

  18. syzygyne August 20, 2014 at 7:33 pm

    Somebody pass this on to the Congressional Black Caucus which has come out with a statement in support of what Israel is doing to Gaza.

    • Anonymous August 26, 2014 at 2:05 pm

      Yeah because David Icke is always right :p

  19. shareb August 20, 2014 at 7:44 pm

    I’m sure this was a perfect translation from Hebrew.

  20. Anonymous August 20, 2014 at 11:33 pm

    Speak my brain to selfish brains!!

  21. israebest August 21, 2014 at 10:50 am

    I’m sure you’re just useful idiots that envy the ability of Jews to be better humans than you. So fuck off yourself and break your heart while Israel hit you Islamic pawns in the Middle East. YOU may drink your Hamas brothers’ pee if you want.

  22. Fagin-Moi Deah August 21, 2014 at 4:38 pm

    You’ve got to pack-a-rocket or two, boys,
    You’ve got to pack-a-rocket or two.

  23. EEE August 23, 2014 at 8:31 pm

    Drink pee…ha ha ha.

  24. Skatos August 24, 2014 at 2:35 pm

    Answer to Fiorella Massey: everyone is most upset that more Israeli’s what are not dying? History has shown that genocide can be forgiven in certain circumstances, but I’m afraid misuse of the apostrophe can never be forgiven.

  25. Rena August 25, 2014 at 12:37 pm

    I love satire as much as the next person, but…this piece assumes an ignornat lie. Hamas openly declares its desire to conquer Israel, kill citizens, and is definitely armed. Israel’s citizens and Netanyahu are fighting for their lives. Millions of Israelis,like me, are traumatized and under daily attack by Hamas.

    • Israel's Deartment of Development - Landgrab hotline August 26, 2014 at 1:50 pm

      Well perhaps you shouldn’t have built an apartment block in their back garden then! You try this shit at my house, and see here it ges you, you land-grabbing muppet!
      Maybe you should consider annexing Poland – that’s always a good one..

  26. Annette Zaner August 25, 2014 at 1:43 pm

    That’s certainly not the road to peace !

  27. Anonymous March 18, 2015 at 3:44 am

    This is a brilliant story! I wish it wasn’t true!

  28. Siddiq Kuty April 25, 2015 at 9:55 pm

    this guy must be placed in mental hospital as he is a serious threat to human kind


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