Israel shoots down Santa Claus over Negev desert
TEL AVIV: The Israeli Air Force this morning confirmed it had shot down a “sleigh-shaped, reindeer-powered aircraft” over the northern Negev desert.
According to military spokeswoman Avital Leibovich, the Israeli Defense Forces had spotted the vessel – which was said to have been carrying a large number of unidentifiable packages of various shapes and sizes – around 4am and kept it under surveillance until a fighter shot it down over the Yatir Forest.
“We view any attempt to enter Israeli airspace – even magically – very severely, and will take extreme measures no matter if it means disappointing several million children across the world on Christmas morning,” said outgoing defence minister Ehud Barak, who also warned people not to attempt to locate the crash site or reach the downed craft’s cargo.
“Please don’t assume it was carrying toy trains and Wii Us and iPad minis, like the media would have you believe. Until we’ve completed a full examination of the wreckage, we’re assuming the cargo is made up of instruments of terror that were to be used against the state of Israel.”