Israel shoots down Santa Claus over Negev desert

Santa Claus: missing presumed dead

TEL AVIV: The Israeli Air Force this morning confirmed it had shot down a “sleigh-shaped, reindeer-powered aircraft” over the northern Negev desert.

According to military spokeswoman Avital Leibovich, the Israeli Defense Forces had spotted the vessel – which was said to have been carrying a large number of unidentifiable packages of various shapes and sizes – around 4am and kept it under surveillance until a fighter shot it down over the Yatir Forest.

“We view any attempt to enter Israeli airspace – even magically – very severely, and will take extreme measures no matter if it means disappointing several million children across the world on Christmas morning,” said outgoing defence minister Ehud Barak, who also warned people not to attempt to locate the crash site or reach the downed craft’s cargo.

“Please don’t assume it was carrying toy trains and Wii Us and iPad minis, like the media would have you believe. Until we’ve completed a full examination of the wreckage, we’re assuming the cargo is made up of instruments of terror that were to be used against the state of Israel.”

9 Responses to Israel shoots down Santa Claus over Negev desert

  1. Anonymous December 25, 2012 at 8:49 pm

    This is f**king stupid and not funny.

    Reply
    • Itamar Reuven December 26, 2012 at 8:13 am

      Yeah… Israel is not looked upon too lightly and people fail to understand our concerns.

      Reply
  2. Anonymous December 25, 2012 at 10:18 pm

    Anon, don’t take things so seriously. This is funny.

    Reply
  3. Anonymous December 26, 2012 at 12:04 am

    Agreed. This is funny.

    Reply
  4. leo December 26, 2012 at 12:15 am

    Lol, somehow I feel that if it was real, Zionists would be up in arms, calling St. Nick a member of Hamas and an all around terrorist

    Reply
  5. Anonymous December 26, 2012 at 1:36 am

    leo, thats because you’re a moron

    Reply
  6. Michel December 26, 2012 at 7:37 am

    Shalom Anonymous…Have a laugh buddy.. ;-)

    Reply
  7. Anonymous December 27, 2012 at 8:31 am

    The real funny thing here is that ziosh*ts are offended. When its Arab culture being paradied, we’re always told to “lighten up!”.

    This when “Israel” is waging a silent war against Christmas and Christianity!

    Reply
  8. Andrew January 31, 2013 at 6:33 am

    Aww look at them Israelis being all offended and shit! Thought sarcasm was Jewish virtue and Arabs were the ones who need to lighten up a little?! Oy Vey, ey!?

    Reply

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