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The Pan-Arabia Enquirer

Journalist reporting on World Cup prediction camel once dreamed of changing the world


Journalist reporting on World Cup prediction camel once dreamed of changing the world

Gulf News reporter still hoping he’s on track to become editor of The Guardian

DUBAI, UAE: A Gulf News journalist reporting on a camel that picks World Cup winners once dreamed of shaking the global geopolitical landscape with the power of his writing, he conceded yesterday.

Mike Durrell, who every day must record Shaheen the camel’s abysmal record of picking World Cup winners, once dreamed of writing award-winning investigations into Bangladeshi sweat shops and international arms dealing.

“I thought I’d force a politician to resign after exposing his links to an international narcotics cartel that involved Swiss bank accounts and links to secret masonic societies in the Vatican,” he said, while deliberately scenting a piece of paper with camel food so Shaheen might finally get one right.

“Oh look, he choose Argentina to beat Bosnia. What are the chances?” Durrell said, while remembering when he once vowed to bring down the entire US military-industrial complex.

Shaheen, who failed to predict the winners of Brazil V Chile, Croatia V Mexico, Ecuador V France, Algeria V Russia, Brazil V Mexico, Spain V Chile, Uruguay V England and Germany V Portugal, has no concept of football, has no idea the World Cup is taking place and knows only that bi-pedal ape-like creatures are withholding her food until she bites a piece of paper.

“Find out who our resident hump-backed football genius thinks will win today’s match,” wrote Durrell yesterday, while sobbing silently as he remembered his college boast that he would be “editor of The Guardian in four or five years max.”

“I’m still on track for that,” he said, while frantically trying to get Shaheen to choose Brazil against Colombia. “You don’t get anywhere in journalism without Middle East experience.”

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  1. Anonymous

    July 3, 2014 at 1:15 pm

    Well done PAE, there seems to be one of these “paul the octopus” copycats in every country now

  2. Moira

    July 3, 2014 at 1:26 pm

    Paul the Octopus copycats seem to be everywhere these days

  3. Sparky Mark

    July 3, 2014 at 5:28 pm

    Good work Pan Arab Enquirer for recycling the same article as before but adding in camel to give it a world cup feel

    • panarabiaenquirer

      July 4, 2014 at 8:58 am

      And good work Sparky Mark for reading our website so thoroughly to notice

  4. Shenna

    July 4, 2014 at 11:34 am

    mud slinging in the PAE comments section. I love it

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