Last-minute Valentine’s shoppers cause stampede outside Porsche showroom

DUBAI: There were chaotic scenes outside Porsche’s flagship showroom yesterday evening as men flocked to pick up a last-minute Valentine’s Day gift. Eyewitnesses reported similar scenes coming out of Ferrari, Bentley, Maserati and Lamborghini garages across the UAE and Qatar, with snaking queues forcing some customers to wait upwards of six hours to be served. “I’ve been here since midday, it’s madness,” said Syrian entrepreneur Karam Zouadi near the Ferrari showroom in Dubai. “I just hope by the time I finally get to the front they haven’t run out of pink ones with leopard-print seat covers otherwise it won’t be worth waking up tomorrow.”

9 Responses to Last-minute Valentine’s shoppers cause stampede outside Porsche showroom

  1. debandskippydoo February 14, 2014 at 1:38 am

    Hate to tell Karam Zouadi this, but me and my girlfriend just bought the last pink one with the leopard-print seat covers. However, we plan on having the seat covers replaced with zebra-print for that one of a kind look no one else has! If he’d like we would gladly pass along the leopard-print to him once we have them ripped out, kindly pass that message on to him if you would Mr. Editor. Thank You

    Reply
  2. Derek February 14, 2014 at 8:36 am

    My girlfriend slapped me around the head, told me to take the Porsche back and to go and buy flowers, chocolates, then to book a table in the Italian restaurant at Tecom.

    Reply
  3. Michael February 14, 2014 at 7:27 pm

    I’m one of the lucky few who managed to pick up a last minute Lamborghini for my wife. However, soon after driving it out of the showroom, I remembered that my wife doesn’t know how to drive. So I had to gift the car to the maid who coincidentally happens to be my “my bit on the side” and the mother of my secret child. So it all worked out in the end. Oh, as for the wife, I bought her a driver’s licence.

    Reply
    • Michael's maid February 16, 2014 at 10:31 am

      Thank you Mr. Michael for your kind gift, I promise ‘clean your shoes’ twice a day using plenty spit and polish. One problem small though, your junior wives are fat too much for spare seat and all children and bag shopping do not fit in trunk – it has machinery in there. Can swop for G Wagon?

      Reply
    • Michael's 2nd Wife February 16, 2014 at 3:30 pm

      Michael, you deceitful little toad, when you asked me to be your 2nd wife, you promised our grandfather that you would stop impregnating the servants and that (with the exception of Svetlana on Thursday nights) I would be the only recipient of your lavish gift giving.
      Oh, and Maria, I have a headache again so can you tidy up my handbags before you go upstairs to “Polish Sir’s shoes” tonight?

      Reply
  4. Arbab February 14, 2014 at 9:17 pm

    After waiting for 8 hours to get my girlfriend the Lamborghini Veneno (had to negotiate with another man who wanted to buy it) and when I got home with her new exclusive ride (3 are made), she told me she wanted the McLaren P1 (375 will be made). Had to dump the Veneno in the sea today and get her the P1…

    Reply
  5. Michael's First and Soon to be Ex-Wife February 17, 2014 at 6:28 am

    Michael I’m so confused. You give me a driving license for Valentine’s Day and you appear to be getting your “shoes” “polished” by at least two of the other three women who I keep seeing in the East Wing. I think you can expect to be hearing from my lawyers quite soon

    Reply
  6. Sue, Grabbit & Runne - Divorce Lawyers February 17, 2014 at 6:40 am

    Dear Mr. Michael,

    We act on behalf of Mrs. Michael No. 1 and are would advise you that resultant upon your serial extra-marital shoe polishing we are instructed by our Client to give your wallet the biggest polishing since Mrs. Woods caught Tiger holing out on most of the Municipal courses west of the Mississippi.

    Reply

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