Long Period of Middle East Peace Shattered as Top Negotiator Jared Kushner Loses White House Access

Uncharacteristic violence sporadically broke out across the Middle East yesterday after the top US peace negotiator Jared Kushner had his White House security access downgraded.

“This is a tragedy for the region,” said Middle East commentator Bella Cockpit. “Since the inauguration of Trump, Jared has worked tirelessly, day and night, to bring harmony to the Middle East and we’ve been experiencing record levels of peace. With him gone, what hope is there left?”