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The Pan-Arabia Enquirer

Madonna gig inspires water company to go Kabbalah


Madonna gig inspires water company to go Kabbalah

Gasafi is flying over rabbi to bless freshwater spring in time for Queen of Pop’s concert

The Queen of Pop slurps from a bottle of posh Kabbalah water, yesterday.

As the excitement builds towards Madonna’s Abu Dhabi concert in June, a local bottling company is taking advantage of what it hopes will be an upsurge in demand for the Queen of Pop’s favourite variety of holy water.

Gasafi, which has plants across the UAE, is planning to launch special bottles of Kabbalah water, which “has the power to to return water to its primordial state of completely positive, healing energy” according to the Kabbalah organisation’s website, and is now in the process of making the necessary arrangements.

“We’re about to flying over a Kabbalah rabbi to bless our freshwater spring,” Gasafi CEO Faisal McDuff told The Pan-Arabia Enquirer yesterday. “As yet, we’re unsure whether he needs to simply bless the spring once, or every bottle of water that comes out of it. Either way, we’ll ensure enough blessing is done to ensure we get tip-top Kaballah water, just as Madge likes it.”

Madonna, a devout follower of the strange Jewish offshoot cult of Kabbalah, is believed to have filled her radiators and even her pool with the expensive blessed water. Hotels in Abu Dhabi are rumoured to be planning similar arrangements, but not with radiators, naturally.

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  1. Me

    March 11, 2012 at 2:55 am

    there is nothing called Gasafi water in UAE, and Masafi water is not introducing this product so who are you talking about?!

    and who is Faisal Mcwhaterver ?!!!

    liars .. stupid liars

  2. andy

    May 16, 2012 at 10:40 am

    hhmmm satire my friend satire

  3. Martin

    June 4, 2012 at 5:48 am

    There’s surely scope for a ticker on the front page or automatic tweeting of some of these comments? Get the tech lads onto it.

    • Martin

      June 4, 2012 at 5:51 am

      And there it is on the bottom left of the page. Fast work 🙂

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