Man with nuclear weapons urges US president to maintain sanctions on man without nuclear weapons because of nuclear threat
NEW YORK: Reports emerged yesterday that a man currently the elected head of a country known to possess nuclear weapons has been desperately petitioning Barack Obama, the president of another country in known possession of nuclear weapons, to maintain or even strengthen sanctions against a country known not to possess any nuclear weapons because of that country’s nuclear weapons threat.
According to sources, the man – whose three terms in office have seem him launch several military offences resulting in the deaths of thousands of civilians, ordered numerous bombing raids and assassinations in nearby countries and was himself an army commando in his younger years – has asserted that that nation without nuclear weapons was warlike and intent on destroying his own.
Despite having lied to Obama before about his commitment to peace and the continued growth of illegal settlements that have severely hampered the negotiations process, the man has also reportedly claimed that the other country and its new leader must not be trusted.
“It’s very peculiar,” said an eyewitness. “It’s almost as if he didn’t realise the ridiculousness of the situation.”