Obama-Rouhani meeting scheduled to take place at urinal in UN bathroom

NEW YORK: Iranian president Hassan Rouhani’s much discussed exchange with Barack Obama is due to take place today at the urinals in one of the UN’s bathrooms, sources have confirmed.

According to White House insiders, the historic meeting – set to be the first between the leaders of the US and Iran since the 1979 revolution – has been arranged thusly both to “give the impression that it was accidental” and “allow either party to walk away at any time without any feeling of awkwardness”.

“We want it to appear to the world like Mr Obama needed to go to the toilet and, while there, he just happened to bump into Dr Rouhani, prompting a short discussion about Iran, enriched uranium and the kids, while the two, you know, did their business,” said an unnamed source.

“This way, as soon as the conversation touches on any sensitive subjects, such as sanctions, Israeli warmongering or the CIA’s involvement in laying the foundations for much of Iran’s modern history, Obama can pretend to just finish up, give it a quick shake and leave with his head held high.”

The source also added the planned urinal meeting would reduce any requirements for a handshake between the US president and Rouhani.