Qatar 2022 FIFA World Cup to be held in London

DOHA: Concerns surrounding the 2022 FIFA World Cup could soon be over following a landmark deal announced by the Qatari football authorities late last night.

Since the Gulf state first won the bid to host the football tournament in 2010, controversy has dogged the decision, largely due to the gas-rich sheikhdom’s high summer temperatures and the conditions of workers building the infrastructure. But amid talks of air-conditioned stadiums and plans to move the event to winter, Qatar’s 2022 World Cup organisers have unveiled what they say is “the perfect solution” to the situation.

“We are delighted to announce that the 2022 Qatar World Cup will be held in London, United Kingdom,” Hassan Abdulla al Thawadi, secretary general of the Qatar 2022 World Cup Supreme Committee, said at a press conference in Doha. “We’re confident that this decision will finally put to bed the concerns of football fans across the world and help ensure that the 2022 Qatar FIFA World Cup is the greatest footballing spectacle ever seen.”

Qatar currently owns roughly 42 per cent of the UK capital, with assets including The Shard tower, the Olympic Village and Harrods, alongside sizeable stakes in the London Stock Exchange, Barclay’s Bank, Sainsbury’s and the burger van at Spitalfields market. It is believed that with several more investments, the country will break the 50 per cent mark and London can officially be recognised as a Qatari city.

“It makes perfect sense,” said sports business analyst Rory Brannigans. “Rather than spending billions building an array of state-of-the-art air-conditioned stadiums that would ultimately lie dormant after the competition finished, Qatar can simply make a few further purchases in London, which it was no doubt going to do anyway.”

Organisers hope the move to London will solve previous misgivings regarding summer temperatures, alongside issues of alcohol consumption, public transport infrastructure and accommodation.

“Look how smoothly the Olympics ran last year,” said al Thawadi. “By moving the event to London, which already has the required facilities and experience, we can ensure the Qatar 2022 World Cup is just as successful, and a proud achievement for the people of Qatar.”

34 Responses to Qatar 2022 FIFA World Cup to be held in London

  1. Anonymous March 28, 2013 at 10:41 am

    This is a lie

    Reply
  2. Anonymous March 28, 2013 at 10:52 am

    Really, you don’t say !

    Reply
  3. jerry March 28, 2013 at 3:26 pm

    ……a perfect solution

    Reply
  4. mayhem March 28, 2013 at 4:25 pm

    Please check fifa.com. It is a lie. Please do not spread.

    Reply
  5. Chicken Satay March 28, 2013 at 4:49 pm

    Of course it’s a lie. It’s a satirical magazine! If you don’t know what satire is, don’t read it. Note: Satire isn’t the peanut flavoured sauce you eat with small bits of chicken on a stick, that’s Satay.

    Reply
    • bert April 15, 2013 at 12:02 pm

      I hope they use twickenham. I once had some lovely satay at a match a twickers a few years ago. Oh, can they also change it from football to rugby. That would be nice

      Reply
  6. Faris March 28, 2013 at 5:59 pm

    what a perfect Solution. Once the tournament is over, Qatar can buy back the stadium…..Ha ha ha….!

    Reply
  7. Anonymous March 29, 2013 at 7:33 am

    This is not true

    Reply
    • Qate B May 2, 2013 at 6:40 pm

      Not shit Sherlock

      Reply
  8. Anonymous March 29, 2013 at 8:34 am

    Are you kidding? Is it a real joke?

    Reply
  9. Ahmed March 29, 2013 at 3:01 pm

    As most Qataris and GCC nationals are on holiday in London from June -October this makes perfect sense and I won’t need to change my usual holiday plans too..!

    Reply
  10. Anonymous March 31, 2013 at 12:49 pm

    Gormless idiots. Read what Chicken Satay writes. Read it again. How’s that?

    Reply
  11. Nabil March 31, 2013 at 7:34 pm

    that’s not true …the world cup 2022 will be held in Qatar for sure ..media
    please stop it!!

    Reply
    • Jynxy April 1, 2013 at 12:42 am

      Are you an idiot?

      Not joking.

      Really, are you an idiot?

      Get off this site. You really don’t get it.

      Just one last thing. FFS, you are an idiot.

      Reply
  12. anonymous April 1, 2013 at 10:56 pm

    From the word SATIRE itself, you can say that this article is NOT TRUE. Please look up the word “satire” in the dictionary…

    Reply
  13. D April 2, 2013 at 5:10 am

    Considering the place we live in, this actually makes perfect sense! Be prepared for the World’s Largest Football Stadium to be built in DUBAI in anticipation of the 2022 World Cup in Qatar….I mean London!

    Reply
  14. Monsieur Flange April 2, 2013 at 5:26 am

    Bugger, better cancel my hotel and rebook the Savoy

    Reply
  15. Anonymous April 2, 2013 at 5:39 am

    Its a joke for April Fools you humourless moron!!

    Reply
  16. D April 2, 2013 at 6:09 am

    The article was published on March 27th, well before April Fools you moron!
    Besides, it’s not a joke…it’s satire (Please refer to Chicken Satay’s explanation if it’s still unclear)

    Reply
  17. Ali Jams April 2, 2013 at 7:00 am

    Why so angry and sanctimonious people? Wouldn’t it be more fun to encourage this kind of reaction and bait them with seemingly earnest replies?!

    Reply
  18. Chris Creme de Menthe April 2, 2013 at 9:37 am

    I’m surprised the article didn’t mention that the Nou Camp has also been purchased and from October this year the Qatari Embassy will be located there.

    As it will then become part of Qatar territory, all FC Barcelona players after 2018 will be recognised by FIFA as Qatar citizens and eligible to represent them as the home team in London.

    Reply
  19. aB April 2, 2013 at 3:46 pm

    If you say SATIRE slowly enough it does sound like Oranges,
    so we are looking forward to helping host the world cup in ’22 here in QatarOndon, coz that twat Seth Blatter will be dead by then :)

    Reply
  20. Anonymous April 4, 2013 at 8:31 pm

    I LOVE the feed. I LOVE the idea of the event being held in London. Rock on. X

    Reply
  21. Anonymous April 22, 2013 at 2:41 am

    Am I the only one this doesn’t make any sense to?

    Reply
  22. timmywarner April 22, 2013 at 4:53 am

    ha ha ha ha ha ha

    Reply
  23. anonymous April 22, 2013 at 10:30 pm

    Uh, a number of the readers here are non-native English-speakers, so don’t call them ‘idiots’ and the like just because they don’t get the satire.

    Reply
  24. Anonymous May 21, 2013 at 10:46 am

    Idiots

    Reply
  25. Tim July 10, 2013 at 4:42 am

    Aww c’mon don’t be too hard on the humourless idiots. Brought up on a diet of sombre propagandist ‘news’ they are conditioned to believe everything they read. they don’t have the rich tradition of political satire that other countries’ media are allowed. Poking fun is not part of the job description of an Arab journalist. So a significant fraction of the population will in fact believe that the story is trying to inform them of factual content. What we need is an arab version of Have I Got News For You broadcast on Al Jazeera.

    Reply
  26. Mr Choccy Hobnob November 8, 2013 at 6:02 am

    Mr Creme de Menthe, you sir, are a genius. Of course, what you haven’t taken in to account is that Messi and Iniesta will be 34 and 37 respectively in 2022….. oh, wait.

    Reply
  27. DesertWandere November 21, 2013 at 4:13 pm

    PEOPLE! calm down, this is pan Arabia enquirer…. it is a parody website like the onion!!! are you kidding me calling this a lie!!! it’s supposed to be!

    Reply
  28. Mark June 1, 2014 at 10:30 pm

    Brilliant idea

    Reply
  29. gliddofglood June 4, 2014 at 11:56 am

    It might be satire, but it’s actually a very good idea – and not that far from the truth.

    Reply
  30. Dickie June 12, 2014 at 12:22 pm

    Halas Got News For You?

    Reply
  31. Alan Sunlotion June 15, 2014 at 4:59 am

    Lets just all get together and have a kick about on the beach in 2022.

    Reply

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