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The Pan-Arabia Enquirer

Saudi Airlines to offer in-flight religious police service


Saudi Airlines to offer in-flight religious police service

Kingdom’s national carrier promises ‘most sin-free service in the sky’

RIYADH: Saudi Arabia’s national carrier this morning confirmed that it will be offering the ‘most sin-free service in the sky’ – with the introduction of religious police as a free in-flight service on international flights.
The move follows UAE airlines Etihad, which previously announced it was launching in-flight nannies, and Emirates, which has revealed plans for shisha lounges on its A380s.
“We want our customers to have the full Saudi experience from the second they board our planes,” Saudi Arabian Airlines said in a statement. “And nothing says Saudi more than the constant fear of arrest.”

Each flight, in and out of the country, will come with “a minimum of two officers from the notorious Mutawa” to help enforce strict Sharia law as defined by the Committee for the Promotion of Virtue and the Prevention of Vice.
“From preventing unaccompanied women from sitting within 50 metres of a man to ensuring passengers don’t watch anything but Quranic verses on the inflight entertainment system, our enforcers will be clamping down on every possible sin through the duration of the flight,” the airline added. 

“And in the unlikely event of landing on water, they’ll be asking each passenger some tough questions before handing over the life vests!” he added.

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  1. Anonymous

    September 5, 2013 at 11:25 am

    oh my. Sometimes I wonder how this publication is still going.

  2. Anonymous

    September 5, 2013 at 11:39 am

    these ppl are sick

  3. Papple

    September 5, 2013 at 11:43 am

    Yeah they need to catch every possible sinner and soon they will outsource them to Sharjah to catch the illegal car modifiers…simply brilliant !!

  4. Farah

    September 5, 2013 at 2:35 pm

    I think this is a good initiative. I wonder if they could send some of their Mutawa to Edgeware Road because how these young Saudis are driving is criminally dangerous.

  5. The Duce

    September 5, 2013 at 3:52 pm

    I just wanted to let anyone who is keeping tabs this that I didnt find this funny in the slightest. There was no broad smile or any recognition of clever satire.

    Nothing to see here. . . .

    • panarabiaenquirer

      September 5, 2013 at 4:05 pm

      Thanks for letting everyone know.

    • The Puce

      September 5, 2013 at 7:44 pm


  6. sereneybeany

    September 5, 2013 at 7:38 pm

    You guys deserve a nobel prize for literature

  7. Anonymous

    September 6, 2013 at 3:36 am

    Get a fukin life …. Fukin LOOSERS

    • Anonymous

      September 6, 2013 at 4:25 pm

      Get a dictionary!

  8. Jojotheclown

    September 6, 2013 at 9:09 am


  9. Anonymous

    September 6, 2013 at 9:43 am

    Love it!

  10. MartyDon

    September 6, 2013 at 10:45 am

    Oh here we go..’I am so offended” blah blah ramblings from your backwards countries
    Get over yourselves, it’s satire and it’s brilliant 🙂

    • Marc

      November 7, 2013 at 11:53 am

      No it is not brilliant nor is it satire, brilliant it would have been when the writer had been subtle …missed opportunity though!

  11. Anonymous

    September 6, 2013 at 11:38 am

    saudi never fails to amuse me

  12. Bug

    September 6, 2013 at 12:55 pm

    Excellent article and every good fictional story always has a little truth, so give it time and something similar will happen. Such as, no Alcohol on international flights for non-Muslims , only serving bland tasteless meat or turning off the entertainment system for 200+ people because one person finds it offensive.

  13. Sayed

    September 6, 2013 at 9:47 pm

    F*cking idiots 🙁

  14. les

    September 7, 2013 at 8:51 am

    no bodywill take the saudia airline flight no way

  15. Al Bundy - Clown Prince of Saudi

    September 7, 2013 at 5:06 pm

    PAE – you only have half the story…

    In addition to allowing religious police on the flight, Saudi Airlines will force all air hostesses to wear clothing that are at least three sizes larger than they should wear so that their body contours do not show (currently the standard is only one size larger). Bridget Jones underpants will become mandatory for all air hostesses.

    Sparkling apple juice will no longer be served in wine glasses but rather in plastic throw-away cups as the apple juice could be mistaken for champagne or other shameful infidel drinks.

    Seat numbers will be completely removed so that families (who have more than eight members) who never cared to reserve their seats can rearrange their seats as they please. New rules will be introduced so that children up to age of sixty can sit next to their parents no matter how short the flight is.

    To complete the Saudi Arabian experience, all airline toilets will be perpetually flooded due to over -pressured hoses.

    Smoking will be permitted on all flights as long as it is done discretely.

    In Saudi Arabia all disenfranchised immigration staff will be replaced by Saudi males who were previously employed in female lingerie shops. Apparently they have the right skill set for the job.

  16. Roulah Labneh

    September 8, 2013 at 9:57 am


  17. Average Joe Bodybuilder

    September 8, 2013 at 10:40 am

    911 was a MOSSAD JOB

    • Chrystal Chipotle

      September 11, 2013 at 10:02 am

      Avarage Joe, I think you got a bit mixed up, it was a Mini and it was used in the Italian Job not a 911 in the Mossad job.

  18. M

    September 9, 2013 at 12:57 pm

    the sheesha will never be allowed on plane. this is dangers

  19. mtndew

    September 15, 2013 at 3:57 pm

    i wonder if they will have this service on their private jets when “royal family” leaves the country.

  20. Kabir Wajahjas

    October 1, 2013 at 6:07 am

    Yes this is good, religious police for all GCC airlines. Other airlines around our holy lands are infidel airlines serving filthy alcohol and having inappropriately dressed women who try to tempt our faith. Hear our faithful cries, god and goat, behead the rest.

  21. Hanan Ahmad (@aitch_ennui)

    October 5, 2013 at 7:01 am

    This is the second time I read this and it just got funnier xD
    P.S. Unaccompanied women would be kicked off the plane and sent back home according to the Mutawa rules.

  22. Chrystal Chipotle

    October 7, 2013 at 1:12 pm

    Will all female pilots have to be accompanied by their fathers or husbands whilst flying the plane? Oh hang on, if women driving leads to homosexuality and the total loss of virgins in Saudi, are women allowed to be pilots????

  23. Louisville

    October 31, 2013 at 12:57 am

    “Seat numbers will be completely removed so that families (who have more than eight members) who never cared to reserve their seats can rearrange their seats as they please. “

  24. Anonymous

    November 18, 2013 at 8:43 am

    @ The Duce : Dont be a duce.

  25. raza shah

    December 23, 2013 at 11:27 pm


  26. Anonymous

    December 28, 2013 at 8:53 am


  27. Dickie

    December 28, 2013 at 8:55 am

    As ever, the comments are the best bit here. You guys are idiots!

  28. Anonymous

    February 16, 2014 at 1:42 pm

    You guys forgot about the gold plated lashing room

  29. Major

    March 25, 2014 at 1:31 am

    Is this some kind of April’s Fool’s joke?

    • Chrystal Chipotle

      March 25, 2014 at 8:27 am

      Major, yes that would make sense, especially as its March!

  30. Rimpy sharma

    March 31, 2014 at 11:22 am

    It think it is a very intelligent decision the Saudi arabian government. Saudi airline being the national airline. Such decision are mandatory for proper maintenance of law and order. Especially during the tourist seasons. I fully support this initiative.

  31. Rasikh Mohammad

    April 15, 2014 at 9:47 am

    This although is an initiative taken with good intentions, fails to address the main problem. You cant force people like this. This only drives them away from Islam. I’ve lived in saudia almost 18 years. Some of the best Muslim people I’ve met there, however on the other hand the more mottawas force and stricken laws, the more this stuff starts to spread and happen underground.

    Lol if they really want something like this I suggest sending mottawas for saudi nationals who use other airlines and drink like an open bar on the flights out

  32. Bakr

    April 15, 2014 at 10:52 pm

    For all who believed it, please read about this site first ! It says whta they post are not NOT REAL stories daaaa

  33. Anonymous

    September 5, 2014 at 10:08 am

    The best part is when people keep reminding everyone else that this is satire! Let the fools believe what they want, it only makes this site even funnier!

  34. Mazher Fakhar

    September 5, 2014 at 11:34 am

    What about Muslim showers? Start with basics which are cheap and easy to fix. Come on Saudia!

  35. Evert van Asch

    September 5, 2014 at 8:12 pm

    Will the mutawa also introduce in-flight lashes if i do something wrong?
    And as a bachelor can i still upgrade from single male class to mixed bachelor class ?

  36. Elizabeth

    September 6, 2014 at 7:31 am

    So many people don’t realize that this is a humorous satire news paper.
    Congratulations to the people behind Pan Arabia Enquirer – you make me laugh every morning!

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