business

Saudi clerics “running out of day-to-day things to ban”

“Simply put, we’ve banned ourselves into a corner,” says leading radical cleric

Published on May 21, 2012

JEDDAH: A leading Saudi cleric this morning came out with a warning that his team of radical hardliners was running out of things to ban.

“Simply put, we’ve banned ourselves into a corner,” said Dr Mustafa Slash, who yesterday outlawed the raising of toilet seats as “despicable”.

Many critics in the industry suggest that Dr Slash is simply a victim of his own success, and that with an average rate of 14 new things forbidden at his behest each day, he was simply outlawing things quicker than they were being produced.

“He needs to slow down with immediate effect or end up finding himself out of business,” said leading religious edict expert Osama O’Hara.

Last year, Dr Slash took the controversial path of moving from actual items and physical actions towards metaphysical states, and famously banned ‘curiosity’ and ‘irony’, before pulling the plug after just a few months.

“Banning irony proved to a complete nightmare,” said Dr Slash at the time. “Nobody seemed to understand what we were talking about.”

There was also an attempt to outlaw banning, a move which created a terrifying paradox Dr Slash admitted “was a bit too much”.

Image credit: poco_bw / 123RF Stock Photo

Related Topics:ban, clerics, fatwa, forbid, fundamentalist, middle east, radical, Satire, saudi

14 Comments

Ali

May 21, 2012 at 5:51 am

Thank god Boxers haven’t been banned yet; enjoy them while they last boys.

Reply
Baldrick

May 21, 2012 at 8:59 am

Boxers are the devils underwear and sould be outlawed immediately!

Reply
Sneha

May 21, 2012 at 9:28 am

You guys are hilarious! I often have to stuff my fist into my mouth to stop myself from laughing out loud in the office (not literally). Please keep them coming! =)

Reply
- ebb
  
  May 22, 2012 at 5:52 am
  
  Hi Sneha
  Me too! I am surrounded by “believers” with no sense of humor. I have to stifle my laughter, at least until I get home. Love the Enquirer!
  
  Reply
Devil

May 21, 2012 at 9:52 am

Please leave my underwear out of this. I don’t wear any!

Reply
A triathlete

May 21, 2012 at 11:05 am

They should outlaw having hair on your legs (especially for man). Would make us specialists in stead of weird guys :p

Reply
M.

May 21, 2012 at 5:20 pm

How about banning that long overall called jallabiya?

Reply
ebb

May 22, 2012 at 5:53 am

How about a ban on ladies’polyester bloomers?

Reply
Sheikh Yobouti

May 22, 2012 at 3:58 pm

Next up; Saudi Arabia bans corners as being un-Islamic.

Reply
Said

May 23, 2012 at 11:38 am

There’s still more to prohibit. I live in S*udi *r*bi* *nd they’ve just b**ned the letter “ehy” (phonetic spelling).

Reply
ali

May 24, 2012 at 2:17 pm

what role models!

Reply
Jojotheclown

November 2, 2013 at 1:57 pm

ROTFLMAO……..

Reply
notellingu

November 3, 2013 at 10:04 am

Next thing : Saudi bans penis from being a body part.

Reply
peter

November 3, 2013 at 9:47 pm

the fact that bending curiosity and irony was even on the table to begin saddens me and makes me think that this bloke really has nothing better to do with his entire day then to ban concepts I think he should ban himself next.

Reply