Stephen Hawking hacked by Syrian Electronic Army

DAMASCUS: It had been described as one of the biggest public speaking events of the year, a rare chance to hear one of the world’s foremost scientific figures give a lecture on a subject of which he is considered peerless. But last night Stephen Hawking’s much-publicised talk at a TED event in London was steeped in controversy when the famed astrophysicist’s electronic vocaliser was reportedly hacked by Syrian web activists.

Hawking had been due to speak about black holes and the big bang to a sell-out crowd in London’s Royal Academy. But soon after taking to the stage the world renowned scientist – who suffers from motor neurone disease and is forced to speak via a computer synthesizer – veered off topic and began unexpectedly offering his support for Syrian president Bashar Assad. In a two-minute tirade that provoked gasps from the audience, Hawking urged the US to “cut Assad some slack” while also suggesting that the embattled dictator “wouldn’t use chemical weapons” and, most shockingly, was “quite handsome”.

IT experts eventually managed to locate the source of the electronic attack and wrestle back control of Hawking’s voice machine, but not before he had claimed that Syrian computer hackers were “totally hot”.

Although the lecture was able to carry on as planned, with Hawking delivering an impassioned and eye-opening speech about the existence of black holes, several members of the crowd had already walked out in disgust, while many of those that remained claimed there was an uneasy feeling in the air.

It wasn’t until hours later when the Syrian Electronic Army – a group of hackers working in support of Bashar al-Assad – claimed responsibility for the attack, breaking into Stephen Hawking’s voicebox one last time to announce “the Syrian Electronic Army was here” just as the scientist was leaving the stage.

11 Responses to Stephen Hawking hacked by Syrian Electronic Army

  1. muttley May 19, 2013 at 9:06 am

    Its true, I was there! You forgot to mention about Mr Hawking singing “my ol’ mans a dustman” halfway through his speech on grey matter.

    Reply
  2. Merlin May 19, 2013 at 9:36 am

    Bloody ‘ell !!

    Think of the mayhem the Iranians could create with this scam?

    Time travel not just theoretically possible because it’s supported by quantum theory, but SH declaring that Acmedinnerjacket is already doing it!

    Reply
  3. Flumpet May 19, 2013 at 12:40 pm

    Awesome – I wonder if this could be done with car GPS systems. Instead of “turn right at the next roundabout” the Syrian Electronic Army could give erroneous directions thereby bringing entire nations to their knees in their frustration of the equivalent ending up in Sharjah when you were only heading to terminal two.

    Reply
    • Merlin May 19, 2013 at 2:14 pm

      That would go a long way to explaining Doha traffic for sure!

      Reply
  4. issask May 20, 2013 at 6:32 am

    Great reporting ;)
    Too bad this one went above the heads of the comment lovers.

    Reply
  5. Anonymous June 19, 2013 at 8:40 am

    .

    Reply
  6. Anonymous June 19, 2013 at 1:40 pm

    This is horrible! Poor Dr Hawking :/

    Reply
  7. Dror Harari (@DrorHarari) June 19, 2013 at 2:06 pm

    Oh, I am so relieved – now we finally understand what Mr. Hawking started talking nonsense about Israel crimes — the Syrian’s have blown they covert (and even if not, Mr. Hawking now has plausible deniability..)

    Reply
  8. Bonnie June 19, 2013 at 3:10 pm

    lol Ultimate practical joke. Regardless of politics, this is just funny…Steven Hawking is a pain in the ass, anyway.

    Reply
  9. Anonymous June 20, 2013 at 5:35 am

    Nonsense about Israeli crimes? Only a partisan Zionist would call it nonsense. The rest of the world call it international law.

    Reply
  10. Anonymous January 16, 2014 at 11:06 pm

    the reast of the world dont give 2 shits about isreal……..

    Reply

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