Syrians celebrate conventional future murder as Obama confirms removal of chemical weapons

DAMASCUS: Thousands of Syrians were yesterday rejoicing that their impending murder at the hands of the Assad government would now be via conventional methods, after US President Barrack Obama announced that 87% of the country’s chemical weapons had been removed.

“Our heartfelt thanks goes out to Obama and everyone at the Organisation for the Prohibition of Chemical Weapons,” said Dana El Ibrahim, a mother of six in Aleppo as an army helicopter dropped barrel bombs filled with explosives nearby.

“Thanks to their tireless efforts, my family and I can finally remove gas attack from the list of savage manners in which we might be soon be slaughtered by a brutal dictator.”

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2 Responses to Syrians celebrate conventional future murder as Obama confirms removal of chemical weapons

  1. Anonymous April 27, 2014 at 2:30 pm

    Don’t forget that any near death waterboarding experience is also USA approved for those individuals who may survive.

  2. Aussie guy May 1, 2014 at 11:34 am

    bull shit when are you people going to learn that Obama is a sick asshole just like the rest of his past presidents, you people ought to wake up. The american government is racking in the big bucks at the expense collateral damage — Woman and CHILDREN and Men, have all of you forgotten that this government is supporting the alkaida brand through proxies, yes a branch of alkaida the ones who took down your towers with you’re own people with it, paying them off to destabilise the middle east. Never ever believe that what any western government nor any other government does anything for the sake of humanity, it is all a game for power and control, and unfortunately it uses human lives as its pawns on a chess board.


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