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The Pan-Arabia Enquirer

IN PICTURES: Inside the Taliban’s plush new Qatar offices

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IN PICTURES: Inside the Taliban’s plush new Qatar offices

The Pan-Arabia Enquirer gets an exclusive first look at the new fundamentalist HQ

DOHA: With the Taliban soon to be officially opening its first office in the Qatari capital, The Pan-Arabia Enquirer has been given an exclusive tour of the new fundamentalist premises.

Taliban-office-green

“We really wanted the offices to inspire and be a place where enforcing strict Islamic law wouldn’t feel a chore for Taliban officials, which is why we’ve used bright and breezy colour schemes throughout,” said chief designer Penton Worcestor. “The aim was to play with space and maximise natural light – without compromising the dark, murderous thoughts of our in-house team”

Taliban-office---main-area

“Interaction is a central theme of the building, with several large open-plan areas where radical extremists can sit and share ideas regarding the toppling of decadent Western principles, perhaps over an organic muffin or cup of fairtrade coffee from one of the several pop-up cafes scattered throughout.”

Taliban-office-2

“We’ve stripped the building back to its raw surfaces – much like the Taliban are stripping islamic ideology back to a protean, literalist interpretation of the Holy Qur’an!”

Taliban-office-games-room

“Dreaming up exciting new fundamentalist ideology is a pressurising job, so we made sure to add a number of ‘chill out zones’ where free-thinking Taliban employees can kick back with their colleagues and perhaps discuss strict doctrine or maybe even the last episode of Game of Thrones!”

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18 Comments

18 Comments

  1. Chris de Burj

    June 18, 2013 at 11:45 am

    Meh…. I preferred the old cave.

  2. Anonymous

    June 20, 2013 at 2:40 pm

    If you are going to use the apostrophe in the spelling of the Qur’an, use it correctly.

    • Anonymous

      June 24, 2013 at 5:52 pm

      Why?

    • Anonymous

      June 26, 2013 at 12:36 pm

      No point, it’s all a romanisation anyway, not the script that word’s meant for.

  3. Neil Dickson

    June 20, 2013 at 8:22 pm

    my sister needs the toilet…where the hell are the ladies???

  4. Anonymous

    June 20, 2013 at 10:04 pm

    what the fuck these mother fuckers are killing people and look at their office better then Microsoft, google, cisco, facebook.
    no one is asking them what is this

    • kharon Anon

      June 21, 2013 at 3:45 am

      Dude, chill! Top of the page, it CLEARLY says, “The Finest Satire From The Middle East”.

      • Anonymous

        June 24, 2013 at 5:55 pm

        The finest satire comes from the Persian satire fields in the Upas mountains. This is technically ‘good quality’ satire. Sorry to be so pedantic but I think satire gradings matter.

        • mo

          June 25, 2013 at 4:13 pm

          Ignorance at it’s finest! Slurs and curses are only expected as a reply, but do urself a favor while you’re at it.. when Russia and USA were in Afghanistan, they used to provide 61% of the worlds drugs.. in a year and a half, Taliban decresed it to 3% ! Nothing is what it seems. Stop watchin bullshit on your television: tell; lie; vision! Get it?

    • Merlin

      June 21, 2013 at 5:56 pm

      Relax!

      One needs to chill, prior to detonation. These surroundings are essential.

  5. ali

    June 21, 2013 at 1:24 am

    This really is bullshit, These pics are all borrowed, One is Google HQ, One is Bankok University and one is somehwre in Portland Oregon

    • Merlin

      June 21, 2013 at 5:52 pm

      You are familiar with Bangkok then?

  6. Firas

    June 21, 2013 at 4:21 am

    Of course they’re borrowed pictures: it’s a satire!!

  7. Lloyd

    June 21, 2013 at 4:03 pm

    I am amazed how stupid some people are. Or perhaps so some people are lacking a finely tuned sense of humour. This is one funny page.

  8. Bart

    June 21, 2013 at 7:10 pm

    Looks like they’ve got all their furniture from iSharia – wonder if their meatballs are halal..?

  9. Anonymous

    June 23, 2013 at 9:07 am

    HahahahahHahah good one…… Yu forgot a prayer room and divisions in all offices so one side for ladies one for gents ……

  10. mo

    June 25, 2013 at 4:02 pm

    Can’t believe that som of u believed this ridiculous article!! To those who did, I uege u to get out of ur cubicle immediately!!

  11. Anonymous

    October 10, 2013 at 9:31 am

    I honestly think that the Pan Arabian Enquirer need to release a piece on how Dubai doesn’t understand what ‘satire’ means.

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