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The Pan-Arabia Enquirer

United Arab Emirates to be renamed as AAA111 UAE


United Arab Emirates to be renamed as AAA111 UAE

Country hopes to take top spot in list of world countries

ABU DHABI: The United Arab Emirates might not make it to its 42nd birthday, should the aims of a new national initiative succeed.

According to sources, the country is sensationally looking to change its official name to AAA111 UAE at the United Nations and will be filing a request when the next session of the General Assembly opens in September.

“For too long, the United Arab Emirates has languished in 242nd place in the list of countries of the world,” said an insider. “With this name change, it shall be in a position befitting of a country of its international stature and aspirations: at the very top.”

Despite the cost of administrative changes – including new passports and almost all pieces of official documentation – believed to run into the tens of millions, many residents appeared pleased with the move.

“It just seems totally out of order that a country with the world’s tallest tower, biggest mall and most expensive cheese sandwich should be so low down the list,” said Epsom Bethesda, a 39-year-old broker in Dubai, adding that he was looking forward to “not having to scroll down to the bottom every time he filled in a form online”.

“We’ve just opened the world’s goldest car park and have an underwater hotel on the way… obs we should be number one on the list,” said Abu Dhabi-based public relations executive Jipp Holdem. “I mean, who is there now, Afghanistan? What have they got?”

However, should the request be accepted by the UN, it is unlikely to please Qatar, which will be bumped from 190 to 191.

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  1. Brian of London (@brianoflondon)

    July 3, 2013 at 8:13 am

    But have they considered the seating implications at the UN General Assembly? This would move them from sitting right next to the United Kingdom and put them next to Afghanistan! Horrific!

  2. Stephanie Cox

    July 3, 2013 at 9:58 am

    Brian: Wrong. Baby Moses said always judge a place by 3 tenets: Food, Weather, & Women. Afganistan beats UK 3-0.

  3. Hamza Nono

    July 3, 2013 at 11:45 am

    It’s a feel good story about the UAE. There are simply not enough of those. Got any more about the expansion of an airline somewhere?

  4. Linda

    July 9, 2013 at 3:28 am

    This is the most ridiculous argument for making this kind of change. The countries are simply and fairly listed alphabetically. With all of the problems in the world, who cares what country has the most expensive cheese sandwich except for someone with an inflated feeling of self-importance?

    • Qate B

      July 9, 2013 at 11:50 am

      The point about the cheese sandwich is that it is an indication of the country’s wealth, so the low alphabetical ranking really needs to be addressed to reflect it’s standing in the world.
      Chill out; at least it is a passive stance; look what happened to Yugoslavia when they realised they randing was so poor. Do we really need bloodshed here?

    • Alli

      July 22, 2013 at 3:12 pm

      Linda, are you serious? Have you even read the tagline of the Pan-Arabia enquirer? 🙂

  5. James

    July 9, 2013 at 8:46 am

    Well said Linda – it’s time for this madness to come to an end!

  6. Aarron A. Aardvark

    July 9, 2013 at 9:37 am

    Personally speaking, this is a great idea.

    • Aalto Aardvark (nee Zorba Zebra)

      July 13, 2013 at 6:23 am

      Couldn’t agree more, so I’ve decided to apply it as well!

      • Issam

        July 28, 2013 at 9:11 am


  7. !!//@@""A1 Monsieur Flange

    July 9, 2013 at 11:08 am

    About time, as it has been a few weeks since I had to change some nonsensical piece of paperwork at huge cost to me and my company for no reason other than to make the UAE more money
    I also agree with Epsom, I waste at least 2 seconds having to scroll down a country list when filling in a silly form.

  8. Alan Sunlotion

    July 9, 2013 at 12:20 pm

    It should read ADUAE (Abu Dhabi United Arab Emirates). After all they run and own the place. And its a long important name. Mind you try having that on the largest flag on the largest pole! And why knock cheese – I thought thats what this site was all about.

  9. Mr Bukake

    July 9, 2013 at 12:24 pm

    The Fonz could be the face of the education campaign with his ‘Aaaaaa’ thumbs up catch phrase. A big banner on the side of a tower with said picture would be a good start.

  10. Anonymous

    July 10, 2013 at 6:12 am

    Hat off to the craftsman of humor.

  11. Hee-bee Gee-bees

    July 12, 2013 at 10:08 am

    Surely it would be cheaper to just pay to make the letter U the first in the alphabet? But then adjustments would also have to be made in the ordering of G, K and N, to avoid being bronze to Uganda and Ukraine…

  12. Anonymous

    July 16, 2013 at 10:40 pm

    Blasphemy!! The holy title of AAA is a pious nomenclature of Everready, Energiser et al. As a loyal faithful of the TV remote controller ( which runs on AAA) I condemn this act of Identity Hijack!

    I hereby call upon the UN to nullify this approach!

    PS: there is an easy way out. Just built the Largest AAA battery and then we will put the AAA title for auction. Auction will start at a discounted price of USD 3 million 23 thousand 4 hundred 21 and 35 cents.

  13. xoxo

    July 23, 2013 at 10:36 am

    I dont understand why aaa111. Its hard to pronounce and just so stupid.

    There is only Afghanistan to beat!

    Arab Emirates Union abbreviated as AEU will also do

    Easier stupid solutions would be
    a1 UAE
    aa UAE

    I wonder who was the genius behind the idea!

  14. Gaganjeet S. Sethi (@gaganjeet)

    July 24, 2013 at 3:06 pm

    Lol I like the way people are writing serious comments on a news which is nothing but satire. Congrats Pan Arabian Enquirer, more people missed the humor and fell victims to your trap hahah *winks*

  15. Freddy

    August 16, 2013 at 10:01 am

    Its August 16, 2013 (a year after the shisha on Emirates story). I’m on a flight back home (Dubai) and I’ve given up on explaining to the mental giant sitting next to me that he shouldn’t waste his time trying to upgrade to the shisha lounge on the upper deck! “you obviously havnt been reading the news for the past year!” was his final statement before I moved seats to the back of the plane :))

  16. superintendent of the Universe

    October 24, 2013 at 9:52 am

    this is a fucking joke right? i mean someone quoted “i wont have to scroll down every time to find the UAE.” Just press U for fuck sake and you’re there

  17. Stranger

    October 28, 2013 at 4:21 pm

    Omg! Is that it? We just have to press U and it takes us there? Jeez! You learn something new everyday!

  18. Mushkila

    February 5, 2014 at 6:15 am

    Aaabu AAdhAbi

    ShAAAkh AAA bin AA of the AAMinistry for AASpelling AAnd RAAnking AAnounced yesterdAAy
    ThAAt the UAAAE would be converting to AA new form of spelling cAAlled AAPrImo-One, AAnd thAAt the country would heretofore be referred to AAs


    …he AApologized for for the suddenness, but he AAsured the people of A+.#1.Best thAAt it wAAs a necessAAry chAAnge for nAAtionAal pride AAnd position

    The People of “AAy Plus Number One Best” rejoiced, with celebrations AAround the BURJ AAA and the other Burg AAA

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