Woman successfully uses caffeine deficiency as excuse for terrible personality

Some coffee. Unless it’s tea.

DUBAI: Colleagues of Collette Biggus this morning confirmed that the 43-year-old corporate lawyer had blamed an angry two-hour episode on the fact she hadn’t yet had a cup of coffee.

According to eyewitnesses on the scene, the Australian expat living in Dubai reduced six interns to tears, screamed at her personal assistant for putting the post on the wrong side of the desk and made a disparaging remark about a colleague’s new haircut, before excusing her actions on the basis that she “hadn’t had time for her usual skinny latte on the way to work”.

“It was pretty convincing stuff,” said one. “And we all probably would have believed her had we not already known that deep down she was a truly, truly awful person – you know, like really terrible – with or without coffee.”

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