Dubai-based company unveils world’s most expensive blah blah blah

DUBAI: Fans of bling now have one more reason to rejoice after a Dubai-based luxury goods designer yesterday showcased the world’s most expensive [SUBS TO COMPLETE].

The opulent sportscar/timepiece/handbag sparkles with over 50,000 precious stones/seven tons of solid gold/a f*** load of platinum [plz delete as appropriate], and comes with an equally eye-catching [SUBS INSERT VALUE HERE] price tag.

“We’re absolutely delighted with this hideous display of opulence that has absolutely no benefit to humankind whatsoever,” said Antoine De Berk, head of Bespoke Platinum Luxury Holdings, the company behind the fabulous new creation.

“The inspiration came to me one day when I saw a [SUBS PLZ] and thought to myself that I could probably generate a few column inches for my otherwise entirely pointless existence by creating the most expensive one in world.”

And De Berk says he’s already had enquiries for the grotesquely ostentatious waste of Earth’s dwindling natural resources.

“Several people have asked if they could get one that costs a little bit more.”

Meanwhile, gilt-edged heads are expected to turn again next week when Dubai becomes the launchpad for the world’s most expensive oh dear god I can’t believe I’m writing this.

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