Drivers looking for a bit of luxury on the road between Dubai and Abu Dhabi will soon be able to take advantage of an exclusive members-only car lane when it comes into service next year.
The ‘Gold Class’ lane, which will be available for a set monthly fee, offers a full range of extras unavailable in the other lanes. Gold Class drivers will be given an extra 10kmph top speed limit, newly laid top-of-the-range gold painted tarmac and discounts at various service stations. The whole lane will also be an extra 50cm wide, and will be cordoned off from the other lanes with a red velvet rope.
“We live in a society where luxury lovers can enjoy exclusive access to special areas in the nightclub, metro and supermarket,” said project spokesperson Tarek O’Dowd. “Given our deep love of cars and driving, it seems ridiculous that we hadn’t yet brought this service to the road.”
While the price has yet to be revealed, organisers have said it would be set “disruptively high” in order to prevent the Gold Class lane from becoming overcrowded.
“We want our VIP users to be able to enjoy privileges befitting of people of their elite status. The Gold Class lane will offer them the world’s most lavish drive, be it to work, the beach club or the nine-star underwater shopping mall.”
Unfortunately for some, the new lane won’t be available to all drivers. Only owners of top-end car brands – a list of which will soon be released – can apply.
“And we’ll be installing manned vehicles along the route – almost like club bouncers – to ensure someone in a dusty Lancer or Corolla doesn’t try to take advantage of the lane and ruin the experience for our members,” says O’Dowd.
Response to the proposal has been positive, with several people who regularly drive between Dubai and Abu Dhabi saying they’d certainly like to give the new luxury lane a go.
“I’ve often thought that it just felt somewhat wrong to be sharing a lane with much cheaper cars,” said Ferrari-owner Feras Mettle. “I look forward to using Gold Class and ensuring my fellow users are similarly high net worth individuals.”
But Aston Martin driver Clive Dumbridge said he believed that, like other facilities across the UAE, there should be a two-tier approach to the new luxury offering.
“It just concerns me that they might be putting, say, a Corvette in the same category as my vastly more expensive vehicle. Perhaps there should be a VVIP or Platinum Class lane as well,” he said.
Despite this, O’Dowd claims that interest in the Gold Class lane has already been “extremely high” and that should it prove a success, there are plans to expand it to other roads across Dubai and Abu Dhabi.
“We’re also looking at separating the lane from the others via a 20cm wide pane of glass and using genuine flakes of 20-carat gold in the paint, just for that added touch of luxury.”
Ali Karim
October 28, 2013 at 12:27 pm
This is sick. Faux -elite structures built on the back of internationally sourced slave labour in lifestyles financed by unearned oil resources. Theres class, then theres tacky, and then theres plain sick. I am appalled at the news that comes out of this country.
Anonymous
October 28, 2013 at 1:32 pm
Depends how you see it, if you earn your own keep and pay for it then there is nothing wrong with it. If individuals have the money to pay for this and are willing to pay for this then there is nothing wrong with it. You forget that it is these types of jobs that allow the “internationally sourced slave labor” to earn money. Without these jobs they would be out of a job and thus have no way to support their family or pay back their employers. So in essence this would be beneficial to both the wealthy and unprivileged classes.
Anonymous
October 28, 2013 at 5:31 pm
I hate this attitude. I grew up in Dubai and this attitude was everywhere. Just because they can get a job in Dubai and not one in their home country doesn’t make it okay to underpay them or treat them like dogs.
Anonymous
October 28, 2013 at 5:55 pm
They would definitely be able to get a much better job back home. I don’t know if you read enough articles, but these guys don’t get paid half of what they are promised before being brought to UAE. And once they are in UAE, their life is over and cannot really do anything anymore. No money to go back home. Let alone having money, they don’t even give them their passports so they could somehow figure out a way to go back to their home country.
UAE is built on slavery, and people out here think that slavery ended years ago. Slavery in the Middle East is on a different level and someone definitely needs to take some action to get this under control.
Anonymous
October 29, 2013 at 3:00 pm
But its not like you can just pay for it, like with express toll roads in the US. In the US there are “VIP” roads, that have higher speeds and less cars to diffuse rush hour traffic for those who are willing to pay and unwilling to wait. This is more like a private club, even if you can afford the fees, they make sure you can’t afford the cars. I bet these cars will be the ones that you cant just buy if you have money. Of course, this is well within anyones rights, but thats like saying, you are free to be a complete dick to everyone you meet.
Anonymous
October 28, 2013 at 7:32 pm
Indeed! If only those “Internationally Sourced Slave Labor” has been paid on “International standard rates”! “Modern world slavery” for the rich it is! Thus, the golden rule applies; “He who has the Gold, Rules”, right?
Barok Khokae
October 28, 2013 at 7:35 pm
Indeed! If only those “Internationally Sourced Slave Labor” has been paid on “International standard rates”! “Modern world slavery” for the rich it is! Thus, the golden rule applies; “He who has the Gold, Rules”, right?
Anonymous
October 29, 2013 at 10:46 am
He who makes the rules, controls the gold!
Pierce
October 31, 2013 at 2:39 pm
Why did you put internationally source slave labour in quotation marks? You do understand that’s essentially what outsourcing is right? For most companies it’s a way to cut costs by paying pennies on the dollar for what it would cost to staff in your own country. And it’s justified because they pay more than local employer could technically pay, but it’s still an unfair wage because what the job is worth in the employer’s local economy is much higher. And the deplorable, nearly slave labour like conditions the UK, America, Canada and other industrialized countries experienced during the industrial revolution are still a reality, and in most cases WORSE.
You’re also an idiot if you think these people wouldn’t have work otherwise – that’s the same fallacy that’s ‘justified’ such low wages all this time, but it simply isn’t true. If these huge companies just stayed out of the local economies of the places they outsource to, those countries and cities would be far better off because they would live inside their own economic bubble. But instead huge companies barrel through and pay a fraction of what they should to these employees, and their involvement in economy just re-imports the work being done which drives up the cost of living tenfold. It’s hyper inflation of unprecedented levels in these countries and the wages suddenly no longer match the cost of living. There’s nothing benevolent about it, and it is sick that companies have convinced people that there is something fair about that system. You’re a fool for believing them.
Also, this article is fake so you’re just an idiot either way. But give your head a shake, and realize this article was written as a satire piece because of how sheerly absurd and elitist this idea is. No one was supposed to take it seriously because it should be obvious how wrong the very idea of it is. I can’t believe people like you are defending it with twisted logic and the capitalist poison that drives people down to elevate a select few. I’m a business student, by the way. But I’m awake. I see what a poor and unfair structure it is. You should wake up too before greeds puts your humanity to sleep forever.
Vincent
December 11, 2014 at 4:16 am
Your a fuckin idiot
Editor at Trango
October 28, 2013 at 2:25 pm
It’s satire you asshole.
Chris
October 29, 2013 at 6:15 am
Yes, I think most people have missed that, despite the heading satire and impractiaity of it. Good effort though you are swimming against the tide.
Anonymous
October 28, 2013 at 6:17 pm
You do realise that the pan-arabian enquirer is a joke new publisher right?
Only me
October 29, 2013 at 12:12 am
You do realise this is a satire web site and the story is a joke, don’t you?
Anonymous
October 29, 2013 at 5:53 am
This is a joke right??
Anonymous
October 29, 2013 at 2:13 pm
you are sick! come on this is awesome….
Anonymous
October 29, 2013 at 10:51 pm
It’s not a real article buddy
Ali
October 30, 2013 at 6:22 am
PAN ARABIA is a satirical news source
Definition of satire:the use of humor, irony, exaggeration, or ridicule to expose and criticize people’s stupidity or vices, particularly in the context of contemporary politics and other topical issues
or in other words the news is a JOKE
Uzair
October 31, 2013 at 6:07 am
I am appalled at peoples responses. Folks, this is the PAN ARABIA ENQUIRER. Have you heard of The Onion. Similar, but different. People taking this seriously shows their jealousy and hatred for success. Also, FYI, oil is only 4% of Dubai’s GDP. So stop with the oil aspect of it already. Unreal.
ziadjk
February 19, 2014 at 10:20 am
It’s satire news you moron.
mita56
October 28, 2013 at 12:35 pm
A paltry 10Km a hour – not good enough for luxury lane…
Thomas William Richardson
October 28, 2013 at 12:54 pm
@Ali Karim, you realise this is a satirical publication? every time there is something written in here some people dont get the satire and joke…….i give up!
Ali Jams
October 28, 2013 at 1:58 pm
It’s so much funnier when we don’t tell people it’s satire! The comments are brilliant. To be honest, if this hadn’t been published in the Pan Arabian, I would have felt that all too familiar sinking when reading the story. There’s VIP bullshi* everywhere in the Gulf, and a huge value on appearance of personal wealth.
Ali Karim
October 28, 2013 at 3:21 pm
“Children and fools tell the truth” – True satire shows the absurdity of what we take for granted and shows up our prejudices. Fair play to this article – while some laugh, perhaps others will pause to think of the plight of migrant workers, many of whom probably wont read these comments. More people need to be appalled by lifestyles of privelidge at the expense of the most marginalised and vulnerable in society. http://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2011/may/27/dubai-migrant-worker-deaths
Anonymous
October 28, 2013 at 6:22 pm
You have no right to speak of him that way your probably one of these slave owning arseholes thomas william richardson!!!
Mustafa Reason
October 28, 2013 at 12:58 pm
At the very least, i would expect to drive my car onto a low-loader that then whisks me in comfort from one city to the other at speeds in excess of 200kph.
To expect to pay for a road on which I have to drive, expend fuel, and generally use my car is outrageous!
Wjat if the factory bar-code sticker comes loose from my rear window? What if i wear out the plastic delivery seat covers that i have been protecting for 18 months?
I, for one, will not be paying to use this service until they get their act together!
or build a train
Samreen
October 28, 2013 at 12:58 pm
“I look forward to using Gold Class and ensuring my fellow users are of a similar importance.” Snob! Come back to earth. All men are created equal jackass
Tee-Eh
October 28, 2013 at 1:02 pm
Will a loyalty scheme be introduced so that Gold Lane users accrue points with use? The more points members accrue, the closer to the front of the queue they can travel.
Saeed Wakim Walla Walla
October 28, 2013 at 1:07 pm
Grrrrr, I’m sooo angry… how could anyone do this? And gold paint? You crazy? Platinum’s far better and provides superior grip, especially when in-laid with the teeth of South Asian labourers
George Farra
October 28, 2013 at 1:34 pm
This could just be the lamest and most ridiculous idea in the history of mankind
Kunal
October 28, 2013 at 1:53 pm
picture this: A rolls royce on that lane, at 90 km/hr cruising/chilling, and a ferrari or a sports luxury car like a lamborghini whizzing past, but wait…he can’t unless he overtakes it and for that he has to stoop down to the common lane and then go back to the gold lane…won’t serve the purpose….but kudos for the thought…puts Dubai on the world map right up there with the other superlatives we have here…cheers…gives us commoners something to aspire towards…
Anonymous
October 28, 2013 at 2:10 pm
Best part of every story here are the comments, thats the whole point of these…to entice hilarious comments from users.
illy
October 28, 2013 at 2:12 pm
Unbelievable….this is how traffic issues are to be resolved in UAE? Instead of adding a lane for buses and trucks to be separate from light vehicles they will add “Gold class” lane and traffic will become even worse. I can’t find the logic in this.
Taz
October 28, 2013 at 2:12 pm
I support the voices of my fellow commenters here! If you gonna let US owners of luxury-brand cars drive in an exclusive lane, the least we can accept is no speed limit, just like the German autobahn (or a minimum of 330 km/h limit). Where else can I test the top speed of my Porsche?
Also I strongly disagree with the gold-plated tarmac! This would reflect too much light through the windscreen and directly into the insanely expensive polarized sunglasses I wear.
Let’s just focus on practicality instead. The lane should be covered by wi-fi, so I can sext my many girlfriends whilst driving at 278 km/h. It should also be ad-free, and noise-free. I strongly suggest that the entire lane is also designed to be fully air-conditioned and/or shaded during summer and/or in the very unlikely event of rain and/or drizzle!
yep! Fo shizzle!
Anonymous
October 28, 2013 at 9:56 pm
If you have the money to buy a Porsche I’m sure you’re going to have money for a data plan and not rely on WiFi all the time 😛
Taz
October 29, 2013 at 10:06 am
AAAAH! You caught me red-handed here! Actually I don’t have a Porsche! I’m only driving a dusty Corolla! 😀
Ritchie Gonads
October 29, 2013 at 9:52 am
Taz, you need to get your windows tinted to 99% like me, then no worries with reflection or seeing the oafs in the Corolla’s
Anonymous
October 28, 2013 at 2:17 pm
WHATS WRONG WITH LANCER ..DAAA
Matthias Weiss
October 28, 2013 at 3:00 pm
There should be a UV-blocking canopy over the lane, and wind-blocking tropical plants alongside to protect my clear coat against the harsh, abrasive sand.
Nick Nack
October 28, 2013 at 3:37 pm
Will they let me if I gold or platinum plate my Corolla?
go fast, only straight
October 28, 2013 at 4:37 pm
I want this but only with increasing speed limit – that stupid idea. I have the good car I can pay for no limit no radar – that best idea. and make gold lane always straight because turns is dangerous.
Monkey Singh
October 28, 2013 at 5:01 pm
I was highly suggestive of something like this on Delhi roads. The ultra high net worth individuals paying so much taxes at least deserve to drive on the road without congestions by slum dwellers. I always used to wonder what someone driving a Ferrari or a Rolls Royce feels like to be on the same road as a lowlife driving a rickety contraption and jamming the roads at free will. Someone who is paying so much to the nation definitely deserves better than lowlives who are parasites to the planet.
dubainameshame
October 28, 2013 at 5:19 pm
Oh Dear Oh Dear we have some very serious idiots on here dont we! Its Satire!!!!
Jasnek
October 28, 2013 at 5:23 pm
That’s a complete example of discrimination and the quotes by certain people “cheap cars” “dusty cars” yes not everyone is fortunate like you. So, stop hating before it was black and whites couldn’t be in same area, now it’s divided by wealth and everyone is really happy with this project launch. These people can afford are the ones who do a lot of “charity work” and show they still think of the needy but on the other hand don’t prefer driving in the same lane as other. Well played!
Romin
October 28, 2013 at 5:26 pm
We need to up the speed limit. Face the facts, Rich people drive expensive cars which can attain top speeds safely. In case of the accident, they’d have expensive insurances and money to make them live a few more years. So I don’t see the point of introducing speed limits, it should be like the Autobahn.
Anonymous
October 28, 2013 at 5:38 pm
I will drive my picanto in that lane and pee on that ferrari
anonymous 2
October 28, 2013 at 5:49 pm
How about spending the time and money on a better freeway into sharjah. The traffic that way is just horrific!
Dale
October 28, 2013 at 5:56 pm
this is just sad
Seb
October 28, 2013 at 6:04 pm
Meanwhile, we’re all waiting for our villas on the Palm Jebel Ali… Set your priorities right
Anonymous
November 4, 2013 at 7:55 pm
Hope for that in 50 years, once they earn form the Gold Class Lane 🙂
Anonymous
October 28, 2013 at 6:06 pm
It is great idea if you are planing to make new road for those guys and their expensive cars
But not to cut from the existing road
Since you ll creat problem for the increasing normal car users
Or not see the roads experience in other countries such as Germany
All the best
ihab
October 28, 2013 at 6:39 pm
This is extremely discriminating, I am really shocked that someone thinks they are better just because they are fortunate enough to be able to afford a fancy car, this is really sick. Having a fancy lane is ok as long as it is open to all who pay the toll/fee. I own both a super fancy far and a cheap car, does riding the fancy car make me a better person?????
Isaac Hunt
October 29, 2013 at 11:57 am
Ihab, do you not understand. My house boy is always late, not because of the traffic but because he is lazy. Thats why i pay him 300dhs a month, my time is more valuable so i need to be there quicker, i would pay for this service because im more important
Shirtl Iftar
October 28, 2013 at 6:41 pm
There needs to be a min speed limit for this to work
Shaun Burbidge
October 28, 2013 at 6:52 pm
If i had the money and lived out there I’d buy an old banger just to drive it down there holding everyone up
Anonymous
October 28, 2013 at 7:22 pm
Why not! Ur paying for the service. Bless you UAE.
Anonymous
October 28, 2013 at 7:52 pm
Guess some one screwed the project spokesperson with lancer and corolla . And why cant we drive a Lancer or Corolla or even ride a cycle if we can afford to pay for it ?? O’Dowd better keep his racist mouth sealed rather than discriminating cars and car users here !!
T
October 28, 2013 at 7:54 pm
Children are starving in Africa (all over the world for that matter)…
Isaac Hunt
October 29, 2013 at 12:04 pm
Maybe some of the funds could be sent to Mc Donalds in africa to help the poor children
Neilly
October 28, 2013 at 8:13 pm
They should also add a silver lane for 2 reasons:
1: Undertaking
2: Identify the nearly people
Anthony
October 28, 2013 at 8:38 pm
To the people who ACTUALLY believe this story is true….. wow
AJ Sam.
October 28, 2013 at 8:54 pm
when i workded in the middle east (last year) the labor rate was 1000dhs which is $285 Cdn. per month……..THATS $285 A MONTH !
Thalib
October 28, 2013 at 8:55 pm
OMG! This is like a re-union for fools! So many fools on one page! :/ Cant believe they actually thought its true and started debating on the topic already
Anonymous
October 29, 2013 at 2:27 pm
I wouldn’t be surprised if a story like this was accurate, having seen what I’ve seen in that horrible place!!
Galina Ianeva
October 29, 2013 at 5:06 pm
And why do you think it’s not true??!!! In Dubai everything is possible 😉
Anonymous
October 28, 2013 at 9:05 pm
hey people what ever you are commenting its their country and they are free to do what they want in…if u like most welcome and if u don’t like go back home and build your country instead of this i guess it would be better to know who are we after all …..the power of the wealthier always better like la fontaine said so it is not special for them it is generalised every where…else ask UN to solve this problem hhhhh good luck people :p
Anonymous
October 28, 2013 at 9:25 pm
Just when I thought the gold dispensing machines were the craziest idea…
Anonymous
October 28, 2013 at 9:30 pm
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAH!!!!
Zein
October 28, 2013 at 9:38 pm
I think to make it real exclusive and since “mobile bouncers” will be manning the road already, it should be strictly couples only. And the more attractive the couple the more privileged the treatment. And lets preserve the normal pecking order pls: Westerns more privileged than all the rest… and just in case you still don’t get it, it’s SATIRE!
Isaac Hunt
October 29, 2013 at 12:10 pm
What about a ladies only lane, then we could invite tourists from saudi and increase the uae revenue
Von Al Akimat
October 28, 2013 at 9:38 pm
If I am paying that much for a VVIP service then the least I expect is limited edition De Deer Crystals and the teeth of fine virgin’s from Whatsitsnameland to pave the lane.
Also, I hope there is some provisional addiction to my car to display my gold-painted Blackberry clearly on my dashboard to the VVIP driver 2cm in front of my car !!
Charles
October 28, 2013 at 10:06 pm
Dear “Ferrari-owner Feras Mettle”,
You said you don’t like sharing the road with “much cheaper cars.” Excuse me sir, but you own a Ferrari, not a Bugatti. To the man driving the $2.2 million Bugatti, your Ferrari is a MUCH CHEAPER car.
Anonymous
October 28, 2013 at 10:20 pm
There are millionaires out there who drive a corolla and many spoiled jobless brats driving a ferrari..how do cars define people?? After all they are all made up of the same thing and end up in the same scrap yard..this whole idea is sick!!!
mar
October 28, 2013 at 10:39 pm
also make gold toilets for them where they pass their gold shit
Anonymous
October 28, 2013 at 10:40 pm
fake.
Anonymous
October 28, 2013 at 10:46 pm
wtf, this is definitely gaping between the rich and the medium class. “disruptively high” my ass
Anna-Lynne d'Corz
October 28, 2013 at 11:10 pm
Let the rich people drive as fast as they like – then they will crash. Over time, the bad drivers will be killed-off, and the roads will become safer for nice people like me.
undressb
October 28, 2013 at 11:10 pm
Idiotic, what a bunch of brown nose mf. The elites think they run the world but its their middle class worker who run the revolutions.
Cutter
October 29, 2013 at 3:43 am
You know what will be funny, if the author wrote that woman are not allowed to use this road unless passing a special skill test, woman are high risk divers , lol,!! Its a JOKE!
dxbdave
October 29, 2013 at 12:23 am
Had this been real, they would have included an overtaking lane!!
Ahmed Mousa
October 29, 2013 at 12:39 am
This is satire…
Zaid Salamah
October 29, 2013 at 1:22 am
All I can say is that this is business at it’s best. If only I was old enough and had the resources to invent this!
Anonymous
October 29, 2013 at 2:23 am
I hope my Camry qualifies !
Anonymous
October 29, 2013 at 3:10 am
Can they get more shallow and superficial??????
Anonymous
October 29, 2013 at 3:13 am
I have a ferrari 458…and i would still say this for you dumb fucks who came out with that vip road idea! That you and your mom can suck a dick. So much racisim. Calling a lancer and corrola cheap hahahahaahha seriously, what kind of mentality do you arabs have to show so much of discrimination!
Anon
October 29, 2013 at 6:32 am
Shame your mom didn’t ‘suck a dick’ at the appropriate time, then there would have been one less asshole on the roads.
Anonymous
October 29, 2013 at 3:25 am
The lack of proper grammar (and common sense) in all the comments complaining about social classes is too ironic…
Anonymous
October 29, 2013 at 3:27 am
The lack of proper grammar (and common sense) by all the posts complaining about social classes is too ironic…
Ehab
October 29, 2013 at 3:28 am
I’m sorry but this is too much, knowing that we have kids dying at war and people that need our help, I mean is this money really going to anything in use? what’s that going to do, by building a gold lane. Why are we always wanting to separate between the wealthy and the unfortunate, we are the ones creating disparity, we are drifting further and further away from humanity every time we do these things. Why can we not stop that hungry man at the end of the street instead of doing this or feed the hungry in African countries, or even the wars in the middle east.
Anonymous
October 29, 2013 at 4:06 am
Hahahahaha you guys don’t get it, its a satirical article
Naeem Salih
October 29, 2013 at 4:23 am
Bullshit This is…Big Bullshit..You pay a big amount for geeting 10kph additional?STFU!!! Without all this i drive easily at 170 – 180 in the existing roads… so a big _|_ to this idea!
Dgadga
October 29, 2013 at 4:48 am
Moi personnellement, I would like it to be a little bit higher than the ordinary lanes, just for the others to see me in my Aston Marty….
d
October 29, 2013 at 5:13 am
Fakeeeeeeeeeee!
charlie
October 29, 2013 at 5:24 am
lol anyone who thinks this article has come from a real source and believes that anything like this could possibly materialise on the already busy stretch between ad and dubai is a complete tool..
Chrystal Chipotle
October 29, 2013 at 5:27 am
oh no, I’ve just swopped my Ferrari for a saddle trained giraffe to be more exclusive. Will he still be allowed on the gold plated road? I’m just a little worried that his hooves won’t find much traction and he won’t be able to reach his top speed. Will there be shisha lounges set up along the way, or even better a mobile shisha service, although I suppose this would have to be run from a Bugatti in order to keep up with the other super cars.
Ridiculed
October 29, 2013 at 6:01 am
This is ridiculous….discriminating….and just pure evil!! By creating such lanes, why do you want to look down upon the people who unfortunately cant afford high end vehicles. If people have money, keep it to yourself…you don’t need to rub it in others’ faces! Guys…Don’t test Gods patience. I drive a Bentley…and I will PROUDLY drive it next to a dusty lancer or corolla!
Nadia Al Maskari
October 29, 2013 at 6:28 am
O my goodness! My emirati flash car driving brothers have really list their minds this time! To think that you a superior enough to have your own lane because you have a flash car is beyond ridiculous. Time to live in the real word were some doesn’t even own a bicycle!
Anonymous
October 29, 2013 at 7:03 am
brilliant! hehe congrats to the author:):)
argey bargey
October 29, 2013 at 7:04 am
i was hoping for an Abu Dhabi – Dubai canal.
It seems this new plan has replaced my dream solution
I’d love to commute in an old waterway barge. A mere 7 or 8 hours each way, blissfully relaxing on an old Union Canal coal barge, without a car in tyhe world..
Anonymous
October 29, 2013 at 7:09 am
To early for april fools day. Couldnt belive what i was reading
Anonymous
October 29, 2013 at 7:11 am
I dont believe this crap!!! people are dying from hunger and look at these ignorant, greedy poeple. what the hell are you trying to prove? Shame
Anonymous
October 29, 2013 at 7:12 am
Piffle – we truly rich just hop into our platinum-plated helicopters. Roads are just soooooooo bourgeois!
Ash
October 29, 2013 at 7:36 am
Let them have their lane. No more flashing headlights behind my 2003 Yaris Sports Hatchback.
Artimus
October 29, 2013 at 7:36 am
For the haters here complaining about the VIP Car Lane, quit envying those of us who can affor it. Go out and earn more.
Enzo F.
October 29, 2013 at 7:45 am
And while your driving your Ferrari at 150km/hr, you can stick your grapefruit spoon to the gold painted Tarmac to scrape some and dust your car with later, to show your friends and other ppl you’re a Gold Class lane member !
Baloch
October 29, 2013 at 7:49 am
I know the fact that satire is a literary term,and unfortunately it seems many people do not know what ‘Satire’ means. please do not hesitate to learn what it really is: ” A literary work in which human vice or folly is attacked through irony, derision, or wit.” NOT REAL!
W.a
October 29, 2013 at 8:06 am
this article prevail a news .. the news downed on us as cultural shock, i drive a 600K Aston martin, and i do not need VIP road… what we need is regulations to get people to drive safe and sound, its sickening to even think that people need more barriers .. it is just going to promote hate and eventually crimes and encourage cultural differences in time people live here and coexist
not so much my luxury life today will last forever, .. for all fellow drivers and the rich line gutter fillers.. boycott the dusty lavish style, a luxury lived in our own privacy is an advantage we enjoy privately … boasting and adding fuel to fire is not the way to go around … its quite shocking that anyone will support this…
Hassan
October 29, 2013 at 8:26 am
This is Bullsh*t …wealth discrimination at it’s finest.
Artimus
October 29, 2013 at 8:29 am
If you want to hang with the common people W.a go right anead. I myself will associate with the privilaged and enjoy the fruits of my lifestyle as I deserve.
Anonymous
October 29, 2013 at 9:00 am
“The test of our progress is not whether we add more to the abundance of those who have much; it is whether we provide enough for those who have too little.”
― Franklin D. Roosevelt
We live in a world where people have absolutely no idea of their fellow beings. The rich get richer and the poor get poorer! We see it everyday in front of our eyes but prefer to neglect it! Here is another side of Dubai:
https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=610723655651546&set=a.603269179730327.1073741828.587411404649438&type=1&theater
Tom Roychoudhury (@tomroydigital)
October 29, 2013 at 9:03 am
Cost of driving in Gold Lane. AED 900. Cost of Ferrari 599 used, on Dubizzle AED 599,000. The comments? Priceless.
Anonymous
October 29, 2013 at 9:06 am
This is some real bull shit and definitely the creator of this idea will burn in hell. one more thing , when we all die we get burried under sand.No discrimination there i guess so rott in hell.
arminvanfan
October 29, 2013 at 9:19 am
It’s a spoof, a joke, read it all!
Moira Stewart
October 29, 2013 at 9:51 am
I am truly astonished that there are people reading this article and assuming it is ‘fake’, or ‘made up’ or ‘satire’. It’s laughable!
Firstly, this is a perfectly reasonable proposal in such an economically diverse location.
Secondly, have you noticed the quality of this website? it is a major international publication! Like the New York Times, or the UK Sunday Express. Who would invest so much in a ‘joke’ website.
This website has the financial backing of Current Affairs heavy-weights like Piers Morgan and Jeremy Kyle.
Get a grip, and watch this happen. I hear the road crews are setting up cones starting on Sunday morning.
As 120km of cones are required in each direction, i understand that a short section of the M25 in the UK has donated cones as a gesture of goodwill from the UK Government, ahead of their announcement to launch an Islamic Finance Section on the LSE.
They are currently being sprayed gold in a warehouse in Al Quoz, before deployment next week.
Ritchie Gonads
October 29, 2013 at 10:03 am
I’ve also heard they’ll be toilets for owners and their Pugs, Chiwowas and other handbag dogs. The toilets will be positioned over the lower class lane and waste will be re-cycled and flushed directly onto this lane creating an in motion car wash and meeting the UAE’s sustainability targets of zero waste by 2018.
This lane will also once and for all prove that all accidents in the UAE are caused by Lancers, Echo’s and Yaris’s so hey ho I’m up for this as then we can also hit the RTA target of zero accidents by 2015 by banning the lower class lane drivers..! All good news to me 🙂
Anonymous
October 29, 2013 at 10:11 am
lol, this is a joke!
Flash
October 29, 2013 at 10:27 am
It’s just a matter of time until the Daily Mail picks this up as a NEW REFLECTION OF THE DISGUSTING GREED OF DUBAI RESIDENTS AS THEY STAMP ON LOWLY MIGRANT WORKERS!
Sarcasm king
October 29, 2013 at 10:28 am
I always love how the use of satire / sarcasm always has an ounce of truth in it 😉
Some of these comments…oh my!
Anonymous
October 29, 2013 at 10:34 am
thank you sooo much for wasting my time as*****!
Anonymous
October 29, 2013 at 10:53 am
This is satire. ..
not fact
Anonymous
October 29, 2013 at 10:59 am
Life is like a shit sandwich, the more bread you have the less shit you have to eat!!
Left Abu Dhabi
October 29, 2013 at 11:20 am
Thanks for a great laugh! And on a positive note, with all the nutters in one lane going even faster than normal, it means NO tailgating and highbeaming for the poor folks and in turn a safer road for them .
Alan Sunlotion
October 29, 2013 at 11:31 am
What a great idea and well worth the cost to do this. I also suggest they make the middle lane the ‘Jingly Lane’complete with a maximum 60kph speed limit, worthless road signs, no indication required, you do not under any circumstances need to consider other road users and a wall every 5km to spit your red gob on!!! Oh…wait we already have these….sorry what was I thinking!
Anonymous
October 29, 2013 at 11:39 am
BUT HABIBI, WHERE CAN I BARK MY FERRARI? I WANT GOLD CLASS BARKING ALSO. WITH PILLOWS TO TOUCH MY FEET WHEN I GET OUT OF MY FERRARI OR BATROL OR VTEC.
Shoo hada.
W.a
October 29, 2013 at 11:47 am
please forgive my fellow arabs coming short on humor, dictators have killed all the funny ones…
this website is satire with sarcastic take on truthful and genuine issues, the header of the website with: World’s only 7-stars satirical ……. its a reference to Burj al arab … to start with it is a smart way of using words… doesn’t mean they don’t publish genuine news they just make fun of it and so on… still the gold lane is a joke as i understood, but outrageous idea itself 😉
Reggie Roganjosh
October 29, 2013 at 12:05 pm
I shake my head from side to side at you…you naughty people!
Sanoop Sadique
October 29, 2013 at 12:08 pm
and finally like the metro gold class there will be congestion in the gold lane and other lanes running freely 😛 😛
Posh Derek
October 29, 2013 at 12:11 pm
Ali Karim – you rerally are a dick of the first order.
ferrari owning grand dad
October 29, 2013 at 12:15 pm
My grand dad owns a ferrari – will he be allowed to drive at 50 km/hr?
nazirahmedAhmed
October 29, 2013 at 12:19 pm
people living in a bubble!
Anonymous
October 29, 2013 at 12:28 pm
does this even sound real?
what kind of stupid fuckery is this?
Anonymous
October 29, 2013 at 1:00 pm
This is just sick
Wissam
October 29, 2013 at 1:58 pm
Bullshit…
panarabiaenquirer.com got a few million hits and that’s all.
Speak up publishers
Anonymous
October 29, 2013 at 2:00 pm
Will there also be gold class toilets on the side of the road with matching coloured toilet paper?
Anonymous
October 29, 2013 at 2:17 pm
Im much richer than a aston martin driver or a ferrari driver in uae because i live in a country where human right are protected by law
Anonymous
October 29, 2013 at 2:38 pm
I think having a Gold lane is not up to Dubai’s standards, we should have more options Like Platinum and Diamond lanes as well.
Anonymous
October 29, 2013 at 4:07 pm
I can’t believe that there are so many comments on a nothing issue and that people includeing myself had the time to read it Ha!
Anonymous
October 29, 2013 at 4:30 pm
That idiot ferrari owner doesn’t know he will be eaten by the gold scorpions in his dusty grave…. where might be an alive owner of corolla or lancer will see his rotten body.
Idiota…
Azim
October 29, 2013 at 4:36 pm
Poor People in the world that could use this money? Who cares…
Huw Jorgan
October 29, 2013 at 4:41 pm
The comment box encourages readers to “speak your brains”. And that’s exactly what most have been doing, by talking out of their arses. Please, never stop, for it provides those of us with brains such priceless entertainment.
Galina Ianeva
October 29, 2013 at 4:56 pm
I’m just wondering how are they going to exit the Gold Class line to go to the beach or work as the article says, not only straight to Abu Dhabi if there is going to be a glass and a red velvet cordon between the lines 🙂
Anonymous
October 29, 2013 at 4:58 pm
Thanks for realizing.
Anonymous
October 29, 2013 at 5:19 pm
This is totally crazy idea…….
I’m sure richness is driving the mind of some people……
Step on the ground, dont fly high….
We shouldn’t be proud of anything we have….. if we get a fever, we will be down on earth for sure……
Fear God, the Almighty…He is seeing all these..Mind it
anon
October 29, 2013 at 5:19 pm
This discriminates against those of us who drive slower but more expensive cars. I am currently importing a 1935 Hispano-Suiza K6 Cabriolet worth over 6 million AED which is also beautiful enough to deserve its own lane. But as its top speed now does not match that of today’s Ferraris and Mclarens I feel a separate lane, on the right side would help create a social balance.
Anonymous
October 29, 2013 at 5:24 pm
Is this real??
Anonymous
October 29, 2013 at 5:32 pm
Wow just goes to show that we are getting dumber and dumber as a species. Humans used to be good at it; here we are now fighting over a piece of fake news. Nobody gets it that the point of satire is to exaggerate to get an idea across. Humans, we have a problem; the fast food is eating our brains away, slowly but surely.
Anonymous
October 29, 2013 at 6:12 pm
YOU ALL ARE DUMB FUCKS, ITS A FUCKING JOKE, LOOK AT THE LEFT SIDE
Anonymous
October 29, 2013 at 6:12 pm
Instead Carpool lane would be more beneficial..
Anonymous
October 29, 2013 at 6:18 pm
Arab in persian gulf are crazy ,special abu dhabi local !
Anonymous
October 29, 2013 at 9:38 pm
You anonymous person, no one is crazy but you! Read the title of the website, “The World’s Only 7-Star Satirical News Source”.
Denys
October 29, 2013 at 6:20 pm
This is just wrong on many levels.
Pingback: The Super Rich to be treated to Gold Class lane on road between Dubai and Abu Dhabi - Motoroids.com
Enid Shagnasty
October 29, 2013 at 6:45 pm
I am only willing to drive in the GOLD lane, if it includes stopping points along the way for a guy to attend to my in car shisha. The open road, the rev of my Bentley, and the sweet smell of double apple in the air makes a perfect drive to the capital. Maybe we can pick up a guy and hot charcoal somewhere near Jebel Ali and he can service on the way. We could have a drop off point just after Salam Street.
Stuart Masson
October 29, 2013 at 7:43 pm
Personally I think that this idea does not go far enough. I think that there should be a police motorcycle escort for all VIP lane users, as well as a line of peasants four-deep along the entire length to wave at the VIPs as they pass by.
Although the article does not mention it, I assume that there will be a platoon of street sweepers to ensure that the sand does not blow all over the gold-inlaid road. And that the cats-eye reflectors will be made from diamonds.
Anonymous
October 29, 2013 at 8:30 pm
Typical Persians — an episode of shahs of sunset.
Anonymous
October 29, 2013 at 9:40 pm
How ignorant are you? Dubai has nothing to do with Persia!! It is the United Arab Emirates, an Arab country!! Persia is not an Arab country!! And it’s a satire smartie!!
Anonymous
October 29, 2013 at 10:23 pm
What a great idea. Mind you, I could think of a few improvements. A whole new road some distance away for a start, so as the esteemed high net worth drivers don’t have to be within cooey of the hoi-polloi. And then several lanes, some for the sporty cars to go really fast, and some for the limo’s to just cruise. And finally, some sort of lane-way air conditioning, so they can drive with their windows or their roof down.
Good Samaritan
October 30, 2013 at 4:17 am
This is insane !!!! I travel to Dubai 4-5 times a year . I love the luxury life I live in wherever i go coz I earned it and I want my family to see it. But statements such as driving next to a cheaper car or a dusty Lancer or corolla? Are u serious. What makes them so different from a Ferrari Owned driver. The difference is the Ferrari owned driver is a bigger a hole with an attitude which will bring him down one day. Ppl from India, Pakistan, Bangladesh, Philippines, Africa and other poor countries leave their families behind for years to make these stuck up Arabs and Emirati’s have a better life. Its their hard work which gives these spoilt rich ppl their bread & butter. Enjoy the lane. Pay for it. Maybe u deserve it but don’t put others down by your stupid idiotic comments.
take that!!! that showed 'im!
October 30, 2013 at 9:23 am
i assume your wealth was inherited.
There is no conceivable way that you earned it.
You are clearly as thick as two short planks.
HARLY
October 30, 2013 at 6:51 am
I JUST TALKED TO MY VOLUNTEER FRIENDS IN SOMALIA AND TOLD ME 3 CHILDREN HAS DIED AGAIN THIS WEEK DE TO STARVATION. EVEN MY VOLUNTEER FRIENDS ARE HUNGRY BECAUSE THEY ARE GIVING THEIR OWN RATION TO THESE POOR KIDS. OH SORRY I FORGOT THIS ABOUT THE GOLD LANE! 🙂
Anonymous
October 30, 2013 at 8:51 am
But in fact some meaning in it, but I would have presented it differently. I would set a speed limit on the lines. And then on the pickups climb to the left or the second row on the left and go forward staring blankly at a rate of 120, and pose a danger to the highways because they have to overtake on the right, and it is not always safe. For example: the left lane can be sold for money to those who want to go 160-170, 140-150 second from left, and the other free to those who do not like the speed or the machine does not allow.
Anonymous
October 30, 2013 at 9:56 am
satire = lies
Frederick Von Dumbfounded
October 30, 2013 at 10:31 am
It really does amaze me how moronically thick and brainless some users of this site are. Really! I can only assume you do not understand satire or have no form of education or sense of humour whatsoever. I mean, whats Somalia got to do with it???????? God help us all.
Steve
October 30, 2013 at 11:01 am
Let’s all wait & c the List of VIP car brands they’ll allow to drive on that lane !! ….
Ash
October 30, 2013 at 12:32 pm
I hope they let the ambulances through on the gold lane to give the poorer car owners a better chance of survival in the all too likely event of a traffic accident on the free for all lanes.
Anonymous
October 30, 2013 at 1:59 pm
It’s not true and even if it’s why are you angry! Their money their wish!
Marina Mokhova
October 30, 2013 at 3:28 pm
This is an extremely rude article! Why does Lancer or Corolla have to be dirty? is this a matter of car wash? I think “No”, I think it was figural and was actually meant “dirty Corolla owners” (not cars). So “clean” Lamborghini owners don’t want to mess up with these dirty people. Author of the article – you are amazing!!!
Anonymous
October 30, 2013 at 3:49 pm
Fuck this shit .. how about a luxurious shit ?
Anonymous
October 30, 2013 at 4:38 pm
so again the middle class people has to face problems by giving charity to build this road…and who the hell is this FERRARI DRIVER “I’ve often thought that it just felt somewhat wrong to be sharing a lane with much cheaper cars,” said Ferrari-owner Feras Mettle. “…NOW THIS DIALOGUE SHOWS THAT THIS WILL BE A BULLSHIT WAY TO GET MONEY WHICH WILL RESULT IN RIVALS BETWEEN THE POOR AND RICH…
Yuka El Fasher
October 30, 2013 at 6:06 pm
This would never happen in Japan
Arty Mohoff
October 30, 2013 at 8:18 pm
Great idea! First we’ll start with Gold lanes, then the next step – gold class pedestrian sidewalks – only for people wraped in Gucci, Armani, Prado etc. But only new collection will be allowed for the membership . Then let’s implement “Gold Class Air Membership” – “Luxury” people will pay and breath freshest air with smell of roses, and “just” people on Corollas and Lansers will breath dirty & dusty poison…
Anonymous
October 31, 2013 at 4:13 am
Good! Let them kill themselves and their children whilst wearing no seat belts. Keep those idiot drivers in their own lane so I can keep my family safe in the normal lane!
Anonymous
October 31, 2013 at 7:43 am
This is the silliest idea ever! Read the book “Animal Farm
abhilash mukundan
October 31, 2013 at 8:23 am
Whether this story is true or false, the one who said “And we’ll be installing manned vehicles along the route – almost like club bouncers – to ensure someone in a dusty Lancer or Corolla doesn’t try to take advantage of the lane and ruin the experience for our members” is a foul crap and to be washed out from the earth with a dusty Lancer or Corolla.
Albert Bostick
October 31, 2013 at 9:37 am
Sticky issue this!
Bling
October 31, 2013 at 9:42 am
I dont understand why all the poor people are getting so upset over this. Most of the Camry and Corolla drivers wont be affected anyways as the gold class lane is on the Dubai – Abu Dhabi highway not the Sharjah – Dubai road, because lets face it 95% of camry and corolla drivers live in and around sharjah. And on top of that if you still dont like it you can go back to your own country!
Kamran Ahmad Kami
October 31, 2013 at 10:04 am
It increased the distance between poor masses and rich VIP
Anonymous
October 31, 2013 at 10:13 am
really well done
Zeeshan Arshad
October 31, 2013 at 10:18 am
lovely satire…if only people could understand and read between the lines….i still cant hide my smile over the nine star underwater shopping mall and O’Dowd’s comments… rlol !
Alan Sunlotion
October 31, 2013 at 11:23 am
I want to know why my last comment (2 days ago) was not published. Some of the racist comments and filthy swearing on this topic is far worse. Whats yer problem PAE?????
panarabiaenquirer
October 31, 2013 at 12:02 pm
Calm down dear. We’re hardly a large operation and there has been an inordinate number of comments to plough through over the past couple of days
Martina Strandridge
October 31, 2013 at 1:25 pm
Very clever take on this…. I am totally not for it cause instead of bridging a gap between the luxury and middle class you are only widening the gap even more. Its a basic promotion to buy expensive cars… I can imagine what will happen when everyone in the gulf owns an expensive car… then what is going to happen??? A Diamond lane ???
I believe this concept is just hideous…. I would say take the gold lane for an ambulance or to go to work or an important meeting. Not to a club or shopping.. What is the gulf trying to do here
Sati
October 31, 2013 at 4:03 pm
So I speak the truth – in most of the Arabian countries, there is big discrimination between poor and rich, rich can do all, poor are like street dog, then panarabiaenquirer.com do not post my comment. Do your fair journalism not censorship Mr. !!!
PLOPHEAD.
November 1, 2013 at 4:07 am
PERSONALLY I THINK THERE SHOULD BE A BROWN LANE – FAR AWAY FROM THE GOLD / PLATINUM SUPER “MY” WAYS INDICATED ABOVE. NO FERRARIS, NO BENTLEYS, JUST A DEDICATED LANE FOR ALL THE SLOW PEOPLE WHO REALLY HAVE MISSED THE POINT
Sad
November 3, 2013 at 3:45 pm
Is this beginning of end of these people. Instead of spending money in science, technology or innovation they are following the path of lavishness. Sorry to see that this happening.
mmrehman
November 4, 2013 at 5:47 pm
Apartheid, Discrimination is back guys.. Gear up.
Anonymous
November 5, 2013 at 12:21 am
clearly clueless people commenting and authors of the article is not very well informed. Article is worth reporting, but VERY poorly written and has many hidden (and clear) insinuations. comments and authors also forget what this region does for their countries economies and fellow citizens in creating opportunities they would NOT find in their respective countries. Negative things happen EVERYWHERE, and some people take it as a goal to highlight the negative (be it true or most commonly false) and that ONLY pushes people further away from being “understanding”. Sad reality when REAL wealth segregation is actually happening in “developed” countries (only God knows hat “developed countries mean if UAE isn’t one). You wouldn’t believe the control financial institutions from banks to insurance companies to investment banks to hedge funds, funds etc. over the rules a country sets. This is a LANE people that for as much as I know isn’t actually a real thing, but what if it was?? Just look at an ENTIRE COUNTRY SHUTDOWN because they weren’t supporting a program that would give the poor a chance at getting HEALTHCARE! A country SHUTDOWN. Say that phrase three times and think about it, and yet people are commenting untruths about a (as far as I know) a false report as if they live in countries that lead by example. Please. And get me started with the FDA and their “rules”, that’s another can of worms.
So please focus on what’s important and leave bashing others just because we dont want to look at our own unspeakable faults.
Ahmed
November 5, 2013 at 10:35 am
for All who doesn’t like it . you can go back t your country 🙂
Zoidberg
November 7, 2013 at 5:38 am
LOL, I don’t know what’s funnier, the article or the comments from fools who think this is for real!!!
Nimesh
November 7, 2013 at 9:35 am
I am fine with the idea of luxury lovers have their time and this sounds like an innovative idea in an experience economy BUT what’s with this chappy,, O’Dowd sounding all judgmental and ignorant? “And we’ll be installing manned vehicles along the route – almost like club bouncers – to ensure someone in a dusty Lancer or Corolla doesn’t try to take advantage of the lane and ruin the experience for our members,” says O’Dowd. Really? Perhaps there’s probably lower you can go to sound more condescending!
Mr Choccy Hobnob
November 8, 2013 at 6:24 am
This news concerns me greatly. I am sure that the stopping distance on gold impregnated asphalt is somewhat less than good old tarmacadam. If that is the case, then shirley the speed limit should be *lower* on the VIP route, especially if it is going to be used by mainly high-powered super-cars?
LOLZ at Feras Mettle.
Michael
November 8, 2013 at 1:05 pm
So where is slavery? U.S. with Mexicans and still with black people ,killing and torturing , China ,Russia??? UAE is nice and the most ones who are working here coming on their own will to get a job and to earn money…most times they earn more than in their own countries. One country in the world where is no slavery? One country where we don’t have trouble with minoreties ? Fix yourself people before you judge this place. For sure U.S. are not a democracy. Two parties to vote for and consuming the most resources still.if you don’t follow the system …we all know what happen. I stay around 10 years in UAE and see it as a very peaceful place where people and nations coming together.
Anonymous
November 9, 2013 at 2:42 pm
kos om el floor
Mrs. Mohammed
November 10, 2013 at 6:33 am
Hope it is True… and i dint understand why people are jealous of UAE’s improvement.If these people dosen’t like the country or the countrys rule n regulation then what the hell they are doing here… plz keep your jealousy with you and get back to your countries where there is no such facilities…
Anonymous
November 11, 2013 at 1:03 am
This is a fake news. Gold flakes and glass separation haha. People please read the report carefully. I’m sure the reporter is a good comedian.
Anon
November 11, 2013 at 6:04 am
And yet again a ‘go home if you don’t like it’ comment from an idiot who doesn’t understand satire. Mrs Mohammed you are an ignorant fool.
Mustafa Dump
November 18, 2013 at 1:35 pm
It’s real….
http://www.7daysindubai.com/traffic-cop-Dedicated-200kph-road-UAE-motorists/story-20094545-detail/story.html
Trut
November 18, 2013 at 2:01 pm
You read it first on the Pan Arabian Enquirer!!!
http://www.7daysindubai.com/traffic-cop-Dedicated-200kph-road-UAE-motorists/story-20094545-detail/story.html
Who says it’s not true now, eh?
LMFAO!!!
November 27, 2013 at 1:15 pm
Oh dear, I haven’t laughed so much for ages, satire hasn’t made it to this part of the world yet obviously.
Expat Financial Advisors - So smart we think Fuck Off is an invitation to keep talking.
November 30, 2013 at 11:30 am
Fantastic idea, lets call it the Shk. Zayed Road, then the old road can be renamed Shk. Mohd bin Zayed Road. The old Shk. Mohd bin Zayad Road can be renamed Emirates Road, the old Emirates Road can be renamed The Bypass Road, Oh, hang on wasnt it like that before………
mrs morgananian
January 12, 2014 at 3:53 pm
Not sure if anyone has already mentioned this as I lost the will to live after reading some of these comments but does this mean that the Abu Dhabi Expressway (Hard shoulder) will now be obsolete?
Dan
April 1, 2014 at 5:11 am
http://www.economist.com/blogs/schumpeter/2014/03/car-free-cities?fsrc=scn/fb/wl/bl/clearingtheair
Oh no!
Eco warrior
June 1, 2014 at 6:13 am
Hey guys, we’re missing the point. This would be like a great idea to put in a cycle path between Abu Dhabi and Dubai.
I’m sure we could have RTA rickshaws too 🙂