IKEA to remove items with rude-sounding names from Middle East stores

Swedish furniture giant IKEA this morning announced that it would be removing and eventually replacing all items with possibly offensive or culturally insensitive names from across all its Middle East branches.

The move comes after a series of complaints, most believed to be related to the company’s new range of Knäkkers shelving systems and the 6-piece Anus dining room set.

“The last thing we want to do is upset our customers,” said regional manager Anders Lumpen. “So we’ll be immediately taking down any product lines with names that could in any way be considered disrespectful. Once we are satisfied that all potentially upsetting items have been removed, we’ll work with a team of linguists and cultural experts to give them new names and eventually put them back on the shelves.”

Alongside Knäkkers and Anus, the items thought to be included in the removal also include the Vulvva office chair, Testis bathroom scales, Spünkken pepper grinder and Fannifartt duvet and pillowcase set. Many fear that the popular Turd beef burger will be taken off the in-store restaurant menus.

But when the items do return to the Middle East shops, IKEA is hoping that the names have been future-proofed enough to avoid having to repeat the situation.

“Sure, Klumpff may sound perfectly innocent now, but all we need is some infantile teen TV series to start using it in reference to female genitalia and we could have a deeply offensive child’s bunk bed on our hands,” added Lumpen.

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16 Responses to IKEA to remove items with rude-sounding names from Middle East stores

  1. Tobias Cake January 12, 2015 at 11:26 am

    I have a tight dining area the 6 piece anus fit perfectly.

    Reply
    • Anonymous January 13, 2015 at 2:38 pm

      Does that mean goodby to the Frikken bedroom suite too?

      Reply
  2. Finbarr from the Billy Mill Roundabout January 13, 2015 at 4:20 am

    I have the Spunken pepper grinder.

    i agree that it should be removed.
    It orks well at the beginning of a meal, but becomes increasingly sluggish and lacklsustre as the meal progresses.
    It often requires quite vigorous shaking to produce the desired result

    Reply
  3. kieranmathers January 13, 2015 at 5:50 am

    The fannifart duvet set is excellent – lovely and comfortable when you are in bed. There’s a slightly odd noise when you get out, though…

    Reply
  4. BritPop January 13, 2015 at 9:26 am

    I would rather see their Billy range rebranded as Charlie ;-)

    Reply
  5. a January 13, 2015 at 12:32 pm

    All the names above are actually offensive in the english ksnguage not in Arabic.

    Reply
  6. Yousuf bin Hadd January 13, 2015 at 2:22 pm

    Is IKEA also to remove the (real) ‘Groggy’ selection of drinks coasters, cocktail shakers, and similar drinking paraphernalia?

    Reply
  7. Dickie January 13, 2015 at 2:25 pm

    Tobias I heard that your anus could accommodate an 8 piece?

    Reply
  8. Johnny B Good January 13, 2015 at 9:16 pm

    I had my eye on the new P-ness extension sofa. Hoping to have it erected by next week.

    Reply
  9. Tobias Cake January 14, 2015 at 8:16 am

    I tried the 8 piece and the dining area was so crammed i couldn’t even sit….all week

    Reply
  10. Shack Robinson January 14, 2015 at 9:27 am

    I personally love my Vulvva office chair. When I slide into that behind my desk, it feels like Coming Home. My secretary, Monica loves the convenient knee rest. If I had the choice, I would never get out of the Vulvva.

    Reply
  11. Fisherman January 16, 2015 at 1:23 pm

    These names are ‘offensive’ in English. So why remove them from stores in the Middle East there the language is Arabic?

    Reply
  12. Dombass January 18, 2015 at 1:55 pm

    Fisherman. Please look at some of the other articles on this website and then look up the word “satire” in a dictionary.

    Reply
    • Fisherman's Friend January 20, 2015 at 10:42 am

      Fisherman is just a poor deluded sap.
      It is common down to earth folk like this, stumbling into our world, that make this site so much fun.
      Satire pedants, that tirelessly point out others failure to understand, from their flimsy pedestal of a GCSE woodwork qualification, are the real problem here, Mr Dombass.

      Reply
  13. Dombass January 21, 2015 at 3:06 am

    I don’t have a GCSE in Woodwork. It was far too difficult. I’ve got one in Domestic Science though. Will that do?

    Reply
  14. tauqs77 January 21, 2015 at 10:48 am

    I was looking forward to their stuphing the muphin kitchen spoon set, wanted to get my partner something to show her that I want to take it to the next level !!!

    Reply

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